Tag Archive | children

No Do Overs

As always when I talk to my best friend something comes out of our conversation which helps us both. We always seem to lift one another up that way. This time it was our roles as “Help meets” to our husbands and children and how we sometimes resist that calling because we are just tired. We either do too much for our families (spoil them) or we take on too much outside our households which causes imbalance.

In most cases God did not call us to those “other things” but He did call us to be wives, mothers, and nurturers. It’s not always easy, and yes we do allow life to overwhelm us with things which do not matter as much as our families.

I recently heard a report which said that most young mothers are so overwhelmed with motherhood, they have turned to drinking and taking drugs as a way to cope!

I attribute that to trying to have “It All”, careers social lives as well as the pressure that is “Social media perfect”. We all should know from our own experiences (at times) how long it takes to get that perfect shot, the smile just right, the backdrop just so. We also know that picture portrays a perfectly loving, happy marriage and family, when we know darn well we only smiled for the picture to be taken and went right back to not speaking or yelling at the kids!

You can not be perfect, “No not one” Take the pressure off yourself. Enjoy those babies, and enjoy this time in your life. It’s the only time you have. There are no “Do-overs” so make the best your “Right now”.

When life gets hard remember that you have a “Helper” The Holy Spirit living within you to help you and to strengthen you. Psalms 55:22

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15 Seconds of Fame

In a time when “Random acts of kindness” seem to be strategically set up, recorded and publicized regularly on social media, and news outlets, we (Christ followers) must know and remember that Gods word says good deeds done in secret are really the ones that count.

Is what you do Gods work? Is it really from the heart? Or are you looking for your 15 seconds of fame?

Matthew 6:1

Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.

Hebrews 13:16

Do not neglect to do good, and to share what you have, for such sacrifices please God

To Give or Not to Give

Does giving gifts have take away from the true meaning of Christmas? No, it does not. If we focus on the wonderful gift of salvation the Lord has given us (Isaiah 9:6), giving to others is a natural expression of that gratitude. The key is our focus. Is your focus on the gift, or on the ultimate gift-giver, our gracious Heavenly Father? “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights…” (James 1:17).

I was doing some Christmas shopping the other day and started to feel some kind of way about the serious stress I was seeing on the faces of other shoppers.  I listened to conversations and watched disputes take place all in the name of Christmas giving.

It was depressing, I felt a bit convicted about the whole thing.  Why do we try to do so much, stressing over pleasing people when the purpose is to give a thoughtful gift in the name of love and kindness.

The reason is I believe is that we are now doing way too much.  We want to impress others, we want to compete with others, and in the process we create more debt than we can afford.

Let’s try to remember the real reason for this season, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ selflessly coming into this world to save us from eternal suffering.

It’s pretty simple, show love in how you care. Give meaningful gifts, gift that supply a need not just a want, and not just at Christmas

Have You Changed Your Mind?

 I remember as a child how when Mohamed Ali was interviewed before or after a fight, he would always say, “I am the greatest”, “I float like a butterfly, and sting like a bee”. He spoke that which he expected his life to be, and based on his boxing career, he succeeded just as he spoke and, as he expected. He was referred to as arrogant and conceited, but he WAS the greatest boxer in his day, because he spoke victory, never defeat over his own life and, most importantly he was about helping others.

It’s what we expect, that which we think about which expands in our lives. Change your thoughts, then you will change your world. Change your expectations, then your life can start to manifest that which you speak and believe. 

Proverbs 18:21. Death and life are in the power of the tongue

Proverbs 23:7 For as a man thinketh, so is he

John 10:10 “I have come that you may have life and have it more abundantly”

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”.

They are a Gift from God

I was returning to my car at the grocery store when I heard a woman’s voice shouting profanities. I looked to see what the commotion was all about, and to my amazement, it was a woman shouting these profanities at a little boy. It was one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen. He was wiping tears away as they entered the store.

At that moment, I remembered a sermon I heard. The minister said that sometimes the problem with people who mistreat children to such a degree is, they see in the child, the face of the man or woman who is no longer in their life or who has caused them pain somehow or they hate their lives and take it out an innocent child who had nothing to do with the pain which was caused.  
A child is a gift, just ask anyone who would willingly give all they have in order to experience pregnancy, child birth or even fatherhood. Something you may be taking for granted.
If this sounds like you, pray and ask The Lord to help you to see yourself in that childs sweet little face or those eyes that wonder why you don’t like them, why you’re always angry with them, just as God our Heavenly Father loves you and looks past your faults and failures. He loves you and shows you mercy and grace, so why won’t you! If you can’t forgive that person man or that woman who mistreated you, why not ask God for the strength to change, because some things are very hard to do apart from the power of God.
There are so many good people that deserve children, who can’t have them but God allowed you to experience the joy of parenthood. Don’t fail this assignment given to you as a parent. Love them, nurture them and help make them into a wonderful human being for their future as well as your own. God loves them, and He gave them to you for a season to do great things in a world full of anger and hostility.  

What are you doing with the gift He gave to you.

Gods word says,” Suffer the little children to come unto me, for such is the kingdom of heaven”.  

I’m Thinking Out Loud

This  is an old post,  but it means alot to me as we celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary today.  It’s worth repeating!

I know I’ve said it before,  but it bears repeating; ” No one person stays the same”,  especially in marriage and relationships.  As wonderful as my husbands is,  I have often wished for those honeymoon days again  but marriage, career, children, sickness, and life has changed us.   It just happens. 

“We live our lives in phases”.  In order to make sure these changes, phases or seasons don’t derail or in some cases destroy your relationship.   Try making home a “stress free zone” as much as possible. Check in emotionally with one another regularly.  Don’t assume everything is fine, we are pros at deception and will tell ourselves “things are fine” or in some cases we may even say “they know me,  they understand me”.  That will never work, instead be purposeful about  spending quality time together,  build one another up during those tough times, share your feelings (good, bad, and indifferent) share your experiences, your faults and your failures but be careful not to use your spouse as your own personal “dumping ground” in the process.

I had to express this very thing to my husband not too long ago.   I was so tired of him coming home everyday complaining about the same thing.  Did I mention it was everyday for weeks ?   His response to me was,  ” If I can’t talk to you,  then who can I talk to”? The “talking” wasn’t  the problem, it was the content of the conversation, (I love hearing about his day normally), but no one wants to hear anyone complain, brag about or vent about the same thing, all the time!. The thing is, he didn’t even realize that he was doing it until it was brought to his attention.  He does now! 

Life gets hard and years pass but he or she is still the person you fell in love with.   Ask God to help you find those qualities you fell in love with.

If you get a chance sometime soon, go online and listen to Ed Sheerans song, “Thinking out loud” .  It is one of those songs that helps to remind you of what you love about one another.

Promise keepers

I tell people all the time that I never liked sports growing up but my husband was a football player when I met him.  It was his life at that time.  I had to learn to deal with it because, it was really the only way I could get some quality time with my sports fanatic man.  I learned to understand what was going on enough by asking him what certain calls meant from the umpire, or the referee, he would give me answers and continue to engage me during those hours of the game (smart right).

I said all that to say this.   I was watching the story of a coach turned Pastor, Coach Bill McCartney a college football coach, and the founder of “The Promise Keepers”.  His core message was and still is, fidelity in marriage by reaching men and husbands all around America with what the bible has to say about marriage, love, family, and relationships.  Although he was used by God, he was not perfect, he cheated on his wife and confessed it to her in order to be forgiven completely by God as well as his wife.  It took a great tole on his wife and his marriage but they eventually worked through it.  Coach McCartney made a statement  I felt I had to share with you,  he said “The true character of a man shows in the countenance of his wife, because everything he has invested in her will show in her face”, and I add, it will show in the way she responds to him as a husband and a father.  Coach McCartney also said,  “God has mandated that every man should bring his wife to spender in Jesus Christ”.  That speaks to a God loving man who leads his family spiritually.

Now, I don’t claim to have a perfect marriage, as a matter of fact I challenge you to find one that is but when I look at my husband and my marriage,  I thank God because I see a Godly man, a man who is not perfect but puts me and his family first always, one who truly cares about how I feel.  He is not college educated but gifted by God with wisdom beyond most, and one who has more common sense than anyone I’ve ever known.  He can see the beginning to the end of just about any situation.  That’s certainly a gift and I believe the reason why he excelled in his 29 year Naval career and continues to even after retirement.

 Husbands love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave his life for her” Ephesians 5:25