Let’s keep it 100 (real). Marriage is not always easy but the way in which we go through life struggles with spouses has everything to do with how we come out of any situation. It is vitally important that we operate in kindness and understanding. Put yourself in your spouses position in that moment of confusion (love), show love and compassion (kind), and in most cases (not always), you will get love and compassion in return (humble).
1 Corinthians 13:4 NIV
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
While on a road trip recently , my husband was listening to one of his favorite old school CDs when a song (Put it on paper) came on. It reminded me of something our minister said in his sermon that Sunday . He talked about how he counseled a couple who were having problems first of all because the man in the relationship didn’t want to get married. His statement to the minister was, “Why do I need a piece of paper to say I’m committed to a person”. The minister responded so wisely in my opinion with this statement; He said, Do you drive, you must have a drivers license. Do you have a weapon, then you must have a permit to carry it. Do you fish, then you have to have a fishing license, So if you are willing to obtain a license for all those things, why not love her enough to do the legal and spiritually correct thing and marry her if you are truly committed to her and the relationship???
And just this morning I heard on the morning show why Opra Winfrey said she couldn’t marry long time partner excuses, excuses, excuses! Bottom line is, don’t allow anyone to devalue you with their selfish excuses or childhood issues and personal hang ups. If they aren’t willing to do the right thing by you, they might not be the right person for you.
Hebrews 13:4. Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
When People of faith get married, the Bible says “we become one body” in the site of God. Being “One” means, We win together or We lose together! Nothing is just about us as individuals any longer.
Let’s learn to work together, save together, cook together, clean the house together, conversate together, live, love and laugh together, and even cry together. That’s what growing together is! It’s not how much more or less than you, “I can do”. Do unto others as we would have them do unto us” Luke 6:31. We don’t hold back or hold out on ourselves, do we! We do the best we can for us, so if we are truly “One”, act like it. Selfishness begets selfishness.
Mark 12:31, “Love your neighbor (that includes your spouse) as yourself. For there is no greater commandment”.
I watched a dance show the other night and a couple who were contestants shared candidly about how they had trouble in their relationship, and how it was at that point they had to make a decision whether they were going to work out their relationship or allow their marriage to fail. They chose to make a conscious effort to stay married each and every day through any bad feelings or misunderstandings in order to work out their differences and make their marriage work.
Sometimes things get so hard in our relationships that we must take extreme measures if we are going to survive together. Isuggest from my own experience that you try to start each day praying together, before the stress of the day begins. Start each day committing to staying married, committing to working out issues, not arguing, not fighting, not fussing and not sweating the small stuff. It’s a very intimate moment and it will allow you to hear from the heart of the person you love.
As I said to some good friends yesterday, choose your battles wisely, don’t bicker about every little thing, things that you know deep down in your heart aren’t going to change much, if at all. Resolve to find a better way to deal with those things for peace sake, and above all remember that God looks over our faults, so let’s learn to be gracious and merciful towards one another as well.
1 Corinthians 3:14, love is patient, love is kind
Roman 12:18, if possible so much as it depends on you, live at peace with one another
I am using an snippet from a fellow blogger (Loftspeaker1) who’s definitely got it right in my humble opinion when it comes to wives (or husbands) who long for more affection, that “New love” type of affection in their marriage again.
If there’s still a longing for romance bottle up inside you (because it’s almost nonexistent) , let that energy flow from inside you. Instead of wondering “Where is the love”, let it pour out of you back into your marriage again. SHOW your spouse what you need just like you used to. Let the romance you show them be the model of what you’d like shown back to you. Plan a romantic getaway, write them some love notes (be graphic), make candlelit dinners just for them. Let it be an ongoing building up of romance, excitement and expectation of what your plans are for them. They’ll be wondering what you’re going to do next and will hopefully use your acts/ ideas as a model for when they try to do a little something romantic for you next time.
Hebrews 13:4-6 “Marriage is honorable in all, and the marriage bed undefiled”
So, go get your sexy, spicey hot relationship back, there’s nothing holding you back but you, and remember this, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again”. Do Not give up if it fails the first time.
Well “it’s about time”! It is one of the most important relationships you will ever have, and the best advice I can give is, Stop being selfish! If you know you are bad with money and even though they do things differently from you, they seem to have a better relationship with finances than you do, give up the power!! Hand over the responsibility of bill paying, spending, and saving, and be willing to take good advice from your “better half”, cause they got it going on in that department !!
I know of what I speak because I did it, and things got so much better once I saw things my husbands way, (He’s gonna love this post!). We got so good at managing our finances that we are now debt free!! I’m not bragging, I’m just trying to help someone. I’m so glad I stopped being selfish and put into practice my husbands way of doing things because we still love each other and we are living the life God promised us!
If you recognize yourself in this post, don’t be so stubborn that you continue in the wrong direction just to spite your spouse. Be flexible and be honest concerning your weaknesses and flaws. Things can and most likely will change with your cooperation.
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God — who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly — and it will be given to him. —James 1:5
Love can last a lifetime but sometimes it doesn’t
Love your husband, love your wife, Learn not sweat the small stuff, like those things that get under your skin for no real good reason! Just love them while you have them with all your heart and with all your patience and understanding. Enjoy every moment with them, adore them and make sure you tell them how much they mean because everything can change in an instant. I sat with a church member and friend as her husband of only 7 months pass over into eternity. They are a young couple and James had only been sick a few weeks. My heart absolutely broke for her. On my ride home I thanked God for the time they had together and I asked Him to help her deal with the extreme pain that she is and must continue to endure.
We all believe our love is forever when we find our true love and I believe it can unless one of those lives is taken, we can be together and in love forever, it simply takes lots of love, honor, patience, kindness, and understanding but more than anything we can do, it takes a true and Unwavering faith in God to help us when times get tough.