Tag Archive | tolerance

Did I ask God to change me for me?

Marriage requires a certain level of maturity as well as self control.  It has not always been present in my marriage but it is what has kept us together for all these years.  Once we both learned to choose our battles and not wear our feelings on our shirt sleeve, things got much easier .  Now don’t get me wrong, it is a real process which takes some of us longer than others and to be honest, we may never really master it but if we get the basic premise of love and unselfish behavior mastered, life tends to change dramatically.

Recently one of my favorite local gospel personalities said, “Pride makes excuses but maturity makes adjustments”.  Oh my goodness!  How many times have you made an excuse for behaving badly towards one another?  Well, maturity keeps you working at doing what is right, and less likely from responding in anger, and definitely not intentionally being hurtful.  Here’s the thing, we can not sustain change without Gods strength to help us, no matter how bad we really want to it’s hard and we must always check our motives for the change.  Ask yourself, “Did I ask God to help me to change for me?  “Do I really even want to change” and once you identify your reason for change then go to your Heavenly Father and ask Him to help you with this process, ask Him to help you to love one another just as He loves you, unconditionally.    Now all you have to do is start behaving in love as you continue to pray for Gods strength to sustain that change in you.

You may fail a few times before you get it, but “Practice makes perfect.   You will know when you have matured beyond your own ability because you will start to give more of yourself than you may be receiving.   Without much effort,  you walk away from confrontations instead of speaking in anger, and most things that angered you in the past may even become comical.  because Gods help, you now see how childish some reactions really are.

“Love (charity) starts at home and then spreads abroad” Sir Thomas Browne.

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I Apologize 

So, I’ve been very impatient with my husband lately, you know how we get.  Yes, I’ve been nagging and complaining about little things like him sucking his teeth instead of getting a tooth pick and getting totally irritated by how he eats chips very loudly or, this is big! how he always finds a way not to be wrong.

Well!  Yesterday morning as soon as we got in the car for church the radio dj said, “if you are happy with 90% of your spouses behavior then why not see the other 10% as being under construction”.  In other words deal with it with grace.

 Then when we get to church the Pastor in his sermon said “If your passion is not your spouse, being with them and meeting all their needs, then you are missing the mark”. I felt as if God spoke to both of us in the span of 1 hour, and we both heard Him and we quietly committed to change.

1 Peter 4:8 Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of (flaws) sin

All In


Let’s keep it 100 (real). Marriage is not always easy but the way in which we go through life struggles with spouses has everything to do with how we come out of any situation. It is vitally important that we operate in kindness and understanding.  Put yourself in your spouses position in that moment of confusion (love), show love and compassion (kind), and in most cases (not always), you will get love and compassion in return (humble).

1 Corinthians 13:4 NIV

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It’s a marriage not a competition 

When People of faith get married, the Bible says “we become one body” in the site of God.  Being “One” means, We win together or We lose together!  Nothing is just about us as individuals any longer.  

Let’s learn to work together, save together, cook together,  clean the house together, conversate together, live, love and laugh together, and even cry together.  That’s what growing together is!  It’s not how much more or less than you, “I can do”.  Do unto others as we would have them do unto us” Luke 6:31.  We don’t hold back or hold out on ourselves, do we! We do the best we can for us, so if we are truly “One”, act like it.  Selfishness begets selfishness.

Mark 12:31,  “Love your neighbor (that includes your spouse) as yourself.   For there is no greater commandment”.

We Have The Power, Lets Use It!!

Be careful what you allow into your life, especially under the cloak of entertainment.  I see it so clearly, and the Bible warns us of the devil, his cunning and crafty ways  (hes  smarter than we will ever be).  He is boldly inserting unnatural relationships into tv shows,  commercials, music, in  everything, and everywhere.   Can you see it?

Hollywood, and our government is trying to redefine life as we have known it, as Hod defined it.  They have forced this lifestyle on us.   You can’t watch TV without profanity, homosexuality, sex, violence, bullying, and just plain meanness.    I suggest that if we as followers of Jesus Christ, lovers of God, would stop watching and listening to the “mess” that has become entertainment,  Hollywood would change what they are creating and putting on television.    After all they make money by what we watch (ratings)!.  We decide what stays on tv  by what we watch!!.  Stop watching, turn the channel when you see those un Christ like things,  then you send a clear message of your disapproval!

God is watching as we conform to the world and its ways.  We will be judged for what we do, as well as how we live our lives. 

Do you want to take the chance that it’s just entertainment?.   It’s a trick of the devil to change our way of thinking of what  “normal” is! !

17.  “For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God? 18. And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear? 19. Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator.”  1 Peter 4:17-19

Do What?

I have my two oldest granddaughters for a couple of weeks this summer, and I have been telling them regularly, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”, Luke 6:31.    I feel like, if they get this principal locked down concerning how they treat one another as children, they will be so much better as adults. We who were not raised with that mentality tend to do the opposite, we want to “Do unto others just as they do unto us”.   Wrong!!!

Here’s the thing,  people are not always going to do as much for you, as you may do for them. They are not always going to treat you as well as you treat them either. The key is to do whatever you do for anyone from your heart, and accept people for who they are, flaws and all (we all have them). Our struggle is to remember that not everyone has the values or the moral compass we may have. Christ showed His love for us all in giving His life freely on the cross, He even socialized with sinners and he was Jesus Christ, the Son of God.  Tolerance on our part goes a long way in God’s love being revealed to others through how we accept and treat them. They may not have the profession of faith that you or I may have but continue to show love, joy, peace, kindness, long suffering, gentleness (Galatians 5:22) because you never know when God will give you the opportunity to share the love of Jesus Christ (your faith) with them so that their lives can be changed just as yours once was.

Do What It Takes

Love is “Mutual submission” Yes guys! God’s words say “Wives, submit yourself unto your own husband” Ephesians 5:22-23,  and it also says, “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave His life for her” Ephesians 5:25.  He did everything for the church, He supported it, He taught it, He loved it unconditionally, and ultimately He gave His life for it (her). His love was never conditional (if you do for me, I’ll do for you). So in order to have a successful marriage or even a successful relationship, you must put your loved ones needs and sometimes their wants above your own. The problem with that is, we only want to do, if we are receiving something in return, but that’s not what God’s Word says. He says “Love one another as I have loved you”, John 13:34-35.   Just think about it like this; If you truly want to please God, you will show love, and in return He will bless you to have the ability to do more than you could ever do on your own. The problem may be that you stopped valuing oneanothers feelings or oneanothers interests, and started to be selfish but that happens when you get comfortable in a relationship.  We all tend to do that.

 Don’t lose heart if it doesn’t work right away.  It took time to get in the dysfuctional state you may find yourself  in. You can get it back just remember,  “Practice makes perfect” and “Anything worth having is worth fighting for”. Start with baby steps, (small things) like back when you used to give real thought to what would make them happy, what would make them smile loving in your direction.  Remember how that brought you so much satisfaction, in more ways than one ;0).   So start now and eventually, you will get back to being “In love”, and satisfied with your relationship.

“Do what it took to get them, if you want to keep them”.