Tag Archive | submissive

Fresh or Stale

It is said that some things get better with age (a good wine, a well aged steak etc), but I add, they only get better with proper care, and maintenance. I’m 57 now but even as a young wife, the one thing I vowed would never be okay in my marriage was for us to lose our passion (not love) for one another, and I work very hard at making sure we stay connected. My husband has his way as well, he has always been active in making sure I’m happy and laughing. He is a “Joker”.

It really helps that I had great examples of a healthy relationship, with love, and respect from my parents., Yes! your children are watching and learning how to love and relate from your example.

Example;

I love to dance but my husband doesn’t like to so much (in public), so sometimes when he’s feeling it, he puts on a slow song and reaches for me, and I melt right into his arms. Yesssssss! 😍

I challenge you, think about how you used to get your spouses attention romantically. Why not start doing that (Yes! That!) again. A relationship grows old, stale, and stagnant when proper care is not taken to maintain, and to keep it fresh and vibrant.

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I Apologize

So, I recall a while back being very impatient with my husband, you know how we get and I may have been nagging him and complaining a lot about little things such as him sucking his teeth after a meal instead of getting a tooth pick or getting totally “bent out of shape” about how he always finds a way not to be wrong no matter what!!

Well!  On that particular Sunday as we got in the car the radio DJ spoke as if he were speaking directly to us, “If you are happy with 90% of your spouses behavior then why not see the other 10% as being under construction”.  In other words deal with him with the same measure of grace that our Lord deals with you daily! When we got to church the Pastor in his sermon said as if he heard from God on our behalf, “If your passion is not your spouse, being with them, meeting all their needs, then you are missing the mark”. I knew God had spoken to both of us in the span of one hour, and we both heard Him loud and clear.

We quietly committed to change some things with Gods help.

1 Peter 4:8

Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sin (flaws)

It’s a marriage not a competition 

When People of faith get married, the Bible says “we become one body” in the site of God.  Being “One” means, We win together or We lose together!  Nothing is just about us as individuals any longer.  

Let’s learn to work together, save together, cook together,  clean the house together, conversate together, live, love and laugh together, and even cry together.  That’s what growing together is!  It’s not how much more or less than you, “I can do”.  Do unto others as we would have them do unto us” Luke 6:31.  We don’t hold back or hold out on ourselves, do we! We do the best we can for us, so if we are truly “One”, act like it.  Selfishness begets selfishness.

Mark 12:31,  “Love your neighbor (that includes your spouse) as yourself.   For there is no greater commandment”.

Submit to who? Why?

So I had a moment recently in which I was forced even more to remind myself to be submissive.

As I  have told you more than once, submissiveness is an ongoing process for all of us.  It is not always easy for me to conduct myself as an agreeable and humble wife, but the Holy spirit is always right there to remind me of my role as a wife because I ask Him to help me. 

I know, I know, but it is a process and if your heart is in it, and your goal is to please our God, then it really does get easier with time, prayer and God’s power to help you.

Colossians 3:16-19

16. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. 17. And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, [do] all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. 18. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. 19. Husbands, love [your] wives, and be not bitter against them.

Okay, okay,  I’m done.  Fix your face and have a great day😒

“Submissive” Why is it such a dirty word

I had a moment this morning, and I decided I should revisit this subject from my first few months of blogging 2014. It’s aways relevant

“Why is today’s woman too much of an independent, intelligent and strong woman to be a willing subject in a marriage “submissive” Is it because we have been led to believe that being submissive is being a sexual object or a slave to man and not having your own will or opinions. The word submissive is simple when you are in the relationship for all the right reasons, love and respect come easily then. Marriage is a union between a man and a woman (Yes) not ownership of another being. If a man loves a woman then she is who he desires to please and provide for as much as he is able, and in return she should to want to please him in more ways than just sexually. He should not have to ask her to keep the house clean or prepare a meal if that’s what she knows he desires? It also means you look to one another for pleasure as well as support.

Be mindful as Christians that we look to Christ for help when we need it. St. John 15:5 b. “Apart from Me, you can do nothing”. The Living Word for Living Life/Gods Path to Success in Every Situation says; Out of respect for Christ be courteously reverent to one another”. Wives understand and support your husbands in ways that show your love for Christ. The Husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does for the church, not domineering but by cherishing, So just as the church submits to Christ as he is exercising such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands. Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives exactly how Christ did with a love that is giving Not getting. Everything He does and says should be designed to bring the best out of her”. 1 Peter 1:22 NLT version says , The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs (emotional as well as physical). There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of Holy beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance- styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes- but your inner disposition. Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. Proverbs 21:21. He who earnestly seeks after and craves righteousness, mercy and loving kindness will find life in addition to righteousness (right standing with God) and honor. If your profess God, you must live God all the time so that when issues arise (and they will) your prayers may be answered 1 Peter 3:7. “Likewise husbands , live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the of the Grace of life, so that your prayers not be hindered” Yes!

There are those who made or are making a decision to be with someone for all the wrong reasons, lust, financial stability, status, family etc., Be careful what you do out of selfish desire at any cost. Those kinds of relationships come with a price and rarely last. You may get the family, social status, and/or financial stability however; you might also be miserable because you didn’t seek after real love, Godly love, the kind of love which brings with it all you need to weather any storm together. Mathew 6:33 “But seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added”.

Marriage isn’t that difficult, It’s commitment, and takes time to learn what works and doesn’t work for each of you but it is so much easier when you love as you want to be loved. 1Peter 4:8 “Love covers a multitude of sin” ( forgives and disregards the offenses of others)

Love Never Fails

I know Valentine’s Day isn’t a favorite holiday for some BUT!! We all love to feel appreciated, and we all love to be told “Thank you”, don’t we?    That’s what you are saying when you take the time to do something special for the one you love.  So, no matter how you may feel about the holiday, make it a point to go out of your way to do something special for them just because you love them, and you want to show your appreciation for all they do everyday for you and your family. 
For most people, it doesn’t take a lot of money to show someone that you care, it just takes a little imagination.  It can be as simple as a quiet moment together where you make a declaration of your love or a promise to be more mindful of them, a card with a heart felt message, a romantic candle lite dinner at home (you get to skip all the crowds, the waiting and the expense).  If you can’t cook, get take out and dress it up at home.  You know, set the table with plates, wine glasses, folded napkins, silverware, some candles and turn on some soft music, that’s  it!!  You can get all of that from a “Dollar store” if you don’t have it already!!  Get your flowers from the grocery store, they are much cheaper and you don’t have to worry about delivery on Sunday.
My husband buys me flowers because he knows that’s what I like, and I usually cook him a special dinner because I know that’s what he likes.  I don’t always expect anything and I know he’s not crazy about how expensive things get around these special calendar days, but he does it for me not for himself.   My point is that you know your spouse, your girl or your guy,  and if you sit down and give it just a little thought, I’m sure you’ll come up with something just right for them, something that they will appreciate.  You still have time! Valentine’s Day is Sunday.  
Now, if you didn’t know already, they will be asked, “What did you get for Valentine’s Day” or “What did you do for Valentine’s Day”?  Make it your goal to give them a wonderful response to that question come Monday.
Love is not selfish, it is always giving, protecting, thoughtful, considerate, patient, kind……

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “Love never fails”
Happy Valentines to all of you, and thank you 

He Promised

“What has been, will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun” Ecclesiastes1:9

There are so many promises from God in His word.   A promise for just about any situation we may encounter;  Corrupt government, homosexuality,  mass murders,  children against parents,  even unpredictable weather.  It has all happened before.

Don’t make God your last resort when you experience the trials of life.   Make Him the first place you go, down on your knees with a repentant heart and a mind to live obedient to His word.

2 Chronicles 7:14
“If my people who are called by My Name, will humble themselves and pray seek My Face and turn from their wicked ways,  then will I hear from Heaven, I will forgive their sins and heal their land ”

He promised, and He can’t lie!!