Tag Archive | patience

What!!!  Marriage is Trending

Well  “it’s about time”! It is one of the most important relationships you will ever have, and the best advice I can give is, Stop being selfish! If you know you are bad with money and even though they do things differently from you, they seem to have a better relationship with finances than you do, give up the power!! Hand over the responsibility of bill paying, spending, and saving, and be willing to take good advice from your “better half”, cause they got it going on in that department !!  

I know of what I speak because I did it, and things got so much better once I saw things my husbands way, (He’s gonna love this post!). We got so good at managing our finances that we are now debt free!! I’m not bragging, I’m just trying to help someone. I’m so glad I stopped being selfish and put into practice my husbands way of doing things because we still love each other and we are living the life God promised us!

If you recognize yourself in this post, don’t be so stubborn that you continue in the wrong direction just to spite your spouse. Be flexible and be honest concerning your weaknesses and flaws. Things can and most likely will change with your cooperation.

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God ​— ​who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly ​— ​and it will be given to him. —James 1:5

Love, Heartbreak, Love

Love can last a lifetime but sometimes it doesn’t 
Love your husband, love your wife, Learn not sweat the small stuff, like those things that get under your skin for no real good reason! Just love them while you have them with all your heart and with all your patience and understanding. Enjoy every moment with them, adore them and make sure you tell them how much they mean because everything can change in an instant. I sat with a church member and friend as her husband of only 7 months pass over into eternity. They are a young couple and James had only been sick a few weeks. My heart absolutely broke for her. On my ride home I thanked God for the time they had together and I asked Him to help her deal with the extreme pain that she is and must continue to endure.
We all believe our love is forever when we find our true love and I believe it can unless one of those lives is taken, we can be together and in love forever, it simply takes lots of love, honor, patience, kindness, and understanding but more than anything we can do, it takes a true and Unwavering faith in God to help us when times get tough.  

Please pray for Dionne and James’s family.  

 You Vowed to Love, Honor, and Obey (Cherish) 🤔

Then why do you think it’s so hard sometimes to be patient, to smile or to even speak kind words to the person who you stood before God and in the presence of witnesses, and pledged (vowed) to love,  honor,  and cherish, “till death us do part”.

Maybe this is you, and maybe you’ve attempted to change in the past but sadly find yourself always falling back into your old ways of anger,  hostility, intolerance, or even impoliteness.   Paul (the writer of  Romans) says,  “When I would do good,  evil is always present”.   This scripture is proof that we need God to help us with our behavior as well as lifes challenges which we are not capable of overcoming of our own strength. I have a solution!!    Why not Ask God!!. He made you,   He knows your every weakness, strength and  your hearts desire to be a better you.  Think about it, we tend to pray about everything else that seems to be of importantance to us, why not our relationship problems, our bad habits, and especially childhood issues which we haven’t yet resolved.  If not resolve, overcome, or controlled, they will truly reak havoc on a relationship in adulthood.

Now please understand,  a change can never take place if you don’t recognize that you are guilty of any of these behaviors. My prayer for you, is that you are first honest enough to recognize the truth about yourself, and from this day forward you would at least treat one another with the common courtesy and the respect you may show to your coworkers, and even complete strangers!   We all have do it!   I’ve been guilty of the same behavior myself, but thank God for allowing me to see my own flaws and then I correct myself.

Don’t put it off,  start by pledging not to leave your home another day, and allow yourself to treat coworkers, associates or even perfect strangers better than the person you vowed to love, honor and cherish!   Practice better behavior, speaking kindly, softly, and lovingly.  

Our mission above all in marriage should be, to love each other as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it.  

1.  Love flows through a marriage which lives up to mutual responsibility and respect. Love is not self seeking, it’s not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong doings. (1 Corinthians 13:5)

2.  Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:31-32)

3.  “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13)

I’m Thinking Out Loud

This  is an old post,  but it means alot to me as we celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary today.  It’s worth repeating!

I know I’ve said it before,  but it bears repeating; ” No one person stays the same”,  especially in marriage and relationships.  As wonderful as my husbands is,  I have often wished for those honeymoon days again  but marriage, career, children, sickness, and life has changed us.   It just happens. 

“We live our lives in phases”.  In order to make sure these changes, phases or seasons don’t derail or in some cases destroy your relationship.   Try making home a “stress free zone” as much as possible. Check in emotionally with one another regularly.  Don’t assume everything is fine, we are pros at deception and will tell ourselves “things are fine” or in some cases we may even say “they know me,  they understand me”.  That will never work, instead be purposeful about  spending quality time together,  build one another up during those tough times, share your feelings (good, bad, and indifferent) share your experiences, your faults and your failures but be careful not to use your spouse as your own personal “dumping ground” in the process.

I had to express this very thing to my husband not too long ago.   I was so tired of him coming home everyday complaining about the same thing.  Did I mention it was everyday for weeks ?   His response to me was,  ” If I can’t talk to you,  then who can I talk to”? The “talking” wasn’t  the problem, it was the content of the conversation, (I love hearing about his day normally), but no one wants to hear anyone complain, brag about or vent about the same thing, all the time!. The thing is, he didn’t even realize that he was doing it until it was brought to his attention.  He does now! 

Life gets hard and years pass but he or she is still the person you fell in love with.   Ask God to help you find those qualities you fell in love with.

If you get a chance sometime soon, go online and listen to Ed Sheerans song, “Thinking out loud” .  It is one of those songs that helps to remind you of what you love about one another.

I’m Still Learning

We are most certainly learning if we are alive and breathing.

How open are you to someone correcting you, whether it be your speech, bad behavior, posture,  whatever.  I have been corrected by my husband, my friends, people who love me, and  I believe when you know it’s coming from someone who cares, that makes it easier to accept.

In this moment, I felt very passionate about something that was going on in my life, and I shared it with a few people around me.   Well,  when my moment of correction came, it was so clear to me that it was valid, I was wrong, and I should change my behavior because not only was I creating negativity energy, I was in jeopardy of weakening my spiritual effectivness as well.

It is so easy to “Go off”,  complaining or arguing your point when you disagree with something or someone, but the thing I have learned most and would like to share with you all is; evaluate your feelings, especially  when you are angry or you feel very strongly about something.  Be sure that what you are saying or doing isn’t tearing anyone’s character down or affecting someone else in a negative way.  Realize that you have power and influence over someone else, if only your children, and what you want to teach them and others is not anger or to create cofussion but you want to teach them to pray when they don’t understand, not to complain and to always advocate peace.  Our opinions are not as important as God’s will for us to show love.  1 Corinthians 13:4-8 

Love is patient, love is kind, it does not boast of itself, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others, it is not self seeking,  it is not easily angered, and keeps no record of wrong.  Love does not rejoice in evil but rejoices in truth, always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.  Love never fails

Correction is something we should never out grow.  

Nothing Like Family Gatherings

You know how you dread family gatherings because you always end up doing or saying something you wish you hadn’t,  “people pushing your buttons on purpose” or so you think.  You are not alone!   But!!  I have a suggestion that may help.  Make up your mind that everyone is not like you, they don’t always do things your way, they don’t always like everything you like, and you can deal with anyone and anything for a short period of time.  Learn to accept people for who they are, whether they are loud and obnoxious, totataly condescending or painfully shy.  Actually,  we are all far from perfect, So put your big girl and big boy panties on, bite your tongue, be patient and be kind.  No matter how you may feel about that person, nothing which  causes you to avoid or to mistreat another human being is worth holding on to.  

Search yourself and be honest, are you using how you feel as an excuse to act badly towards someone, to avoid family or are you seeking attention or sympathy from others by how you act out during gatherings?  Remember that God knows all and He sees everything.  We will be judged by our actions and we will give in account for our wrong doing,  Period!  God gave His only Son for the forgiveness of our sins, so why do we have the right to hold onto grudges, or bad feelings against anyone?
Now, as we all prepare to be with family and friends this holiday season, it is very simple if you desire to change and to please God.  Pray and ask God to help you to be kind and to show His love.  He looks over our faults everyday and still gives us grace and mercy.   It is after all, the one thing He requires of us the most.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Parenting, Its work and it pays off

Today 33 ago,  I gave birth to a lovely little “Chocolate drop’ we affectionately call “Candy”.  She has maintained a beautiful spirit, a giving heart and a deep love for her family all of her life.   She is a gift to our family,  to her family now, and her friends, past, present and future I’m sure.  

Happy birthday my love!

There is nothing more rewarding than watching your children grow and become productive adults, and wonderful people.    It feels good when you realize they heard your words of correction and direction, even though it didn’t seem as though they were always  listening.   I am blessed to have that kind of pride in my children.   It wasn’t always easy, and I see both my husband and myself in them, at times,  the good, the bad, and the ugly!  That comes with the territory.

No matter how hard it gets, and it does get hard,  never give up on teachingcorrecting and discipling your children.   Find patience,  pray for understanding and guidance as you do your best to be a good parent.   We often told our children,  “We are learning as we go.  No one gave us a handbook on parenting”.   Every child is different, and that makes it even harder sometimes  but hang in there.  It will get better “after while “.