Tag Archive | patience

All In


Let’s keep it 100 (real). Marriage is not always easy but the way in which we go through life struggles with spouses has everything to do with how we come out of any situation. It is vitally important that we operate in kindness and understanding.  Put yourself in your spouses position in that moment of confusion (love), show love and compassion (kind), and in most cases (not always), you will get love and compassion in return (humble).

1 Corinthians 13:4 NIV

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It’s a marriage not a competition 

When People of faith get married, the Bible says “we become one body” in the site of God.  Being “One” means, We win together or We lose together!  Nothing is just about us as individuals any longer.  

Let’s learn to work together, save together, cook together,  clean the house together, conversate together, live, love and laugh together, and even cry together.  That’s what growing together is!  It’s not how much more or less than you, “I can do”.  Do unto others as we would have them do unto us” Luke 6:31.  We don’t hold back or hold out on ourselves, do we! We do the best we can for us, so if we are truly “One”, act like it.  Selfishness begets selfishness.

Mark 12:31,  “Love your neighbor (that includes your spouse) as yourself.   For there is no greater commandment”.

For Peace Sake

I watched a dance show the other night and a couple who were contestants shared candidly about how they had trouble in their relationship, and how it was at that point they had to make a decision whether they were going to work out their relationship or allow their marriage to fail.  They chose to make a conscious effort to stay married each and every day through any bad feelings or misunderstandings in order to work out their differences and make their marriage work.

Sometimes things get so hard in our relationships that we must take extreme measures if we are going to survive together.   I suggest from my own experience that you try to start each day praying together, before the stress of the day begins.  Start each day committing to staying married, committing to working out issues, not arguing, not fighting, not fussing and not sweating the small stuff.  It’s a very intimate moment and it will allow you to hear from the heart of the person you love.

As I said to some good friends yesterday, choose your battles wisely, don’t bicker about every little thing, things that you know deep down in your heart aren’t going to change much, if at all.  Resolve to find a better way to deal with those things for peace sake, and above all remember that God looks over our faults, so let’s learn to be gracious and merciful towards one another as well.

1 Corinthians 3:14, love is patient, love is kind

Roman 12:18, if possible so much as it depends on you, live at peace with one another 

What!!!  Marriage is Trending

Well  “it’s about time”! It is one of the most important relationships you will ever have, and the best advice I can give is, Stop being selfish! If you know you are bad with money and even though they do things differently from you, they seem to have a better relationship with finances than you do, give up the power!! Hand over the responsibility of bill paying, spending, and saving, and be willing to take good advice from your “better half”, cause they got it going on in that department !!  

I know of what I speak because I did it, and things got so much better once I saw things my husbands way, (He’s gonna love this post!). We got so good at managing our finances that we are now debt free!! I’m not bragging, I’m just trying to help someone. I’m so glad I stopped being selfish and put into practice my husbands way of doing things because we still love each other and we are living the life God promised us!

If you recognize yourself in this post, don’t be so stubborn that you continue in the wrong direction just to spite your spouse. Be flexible and be honest concerning your weaknesses and flaws. Things can and most likely will change with your cooperation.

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God ​— ​who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly ​— ​and it will be given to him. —James 1:5

Love, Heartbreak, Love

Love can last a lifetime but sometimes it doesn’t 
Love your husband, love your wife, Learn not sweat the small stuff, like those things that get under your skin for no real good reason! Just love them while you have them with all your heart and with all your patience and understanding. Enjoy every moment with them, adore them and make sure you tell them how much they mean because everything can change in an instant. I sat with a church member and friend as her husband of only 7 months pass over into eternity. They are a young couple and James had only been sick a few weeks. My heart absolutely broke for her. On my ride home I thanked God for the time they had together and I asked Him to help her deal with the extreme pain that she is and must continue to endure.
We all believe our love is forever when we find our true love and I believe it can unless one of those lives is taken, we can be together and in love forever, it simply takes lots of love, honor, patience, kindness, and understanding but more than anything we can do, it takes a true and Unwavering faith in God to help us when times get tough.  

Please pray for Dionne and James’s family.  

 You Vowed to Love, Honor, and Obey (Cherish) 🤔

Then why do you think it’s so hard sometimes to be patient, to smile or to even speak kind words to the person who you stood before God and in the presence of witnesses, and pledged (vowed) to love,  honor,  and cherish, “till death us do part”.

Maybe this is you, and maybe you’ve attempted to change in the past but sadly find yourself always falling back into your old ways of anger,  hostility, intolerance, or even impoliteness.   Paul (the writer of  Romans) says,  “When I would do good,  evil is always present”.   This scripture is proof that we need God to help us with our behavior as well as lifes challenges which we are not capable of overcoming of our own strength. I have a solution!!    Why not Ask God!!. He made you,   He knows your every weakness, strength and  your hearts desire to be a better you.  Think about it, we tend to pray about everything else that seems to be of importantance to us, why not our relationship problems, our bad habits, and especially childhood issues which we haven’t yet resolved.  If not resolve, overcome, or controlled, they will truly reak havoc on a relationship in adulthood.

Now please understand,  a change can never take place if you don’t recognize that you are guilty of any of these behaviors. My prayer for you, is that you are first honest enough to recognize the truth about yourself, and from this day forward you would at least treat one another with the common courtesy and the respect you may show to your coworkers, and even complete strangers!   We all have do it!   I’ve been guilty of the same behavior myself, but thank God for allowing me to see my own flaws and then I correct myself.

Don’t put it off,  start by pledging not to leave your home another day, and allow yourself to treat coworkers, associates or even perfect strangers better than the person you vowed to love, honor and cherish!   Practice better behavior, speaking kindly, softly, and lovingly.  

Our mission above all in marriage should be, to love each other as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it.  

1.  Love flows through a marriage which lives up to mutual responsibility and respect. Love is not self seeking, it’s not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong doings. (1 Corinthians 13:5)

2.  Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:31-32)

3.  “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13)

I’m Thinking Out Loud

This  is an old post,  but it means alot to me as we celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary today.  It’s worth repeating!

I know I’ve said it before,  but it bears repeating; ” No one person stays the same”,  especially in marriage and relationships.  As wonderful as my husbands is,  I have often wished for those honeymoon days again  but marriage, career, children, sickness, and life has changed us.   It just happens. 

“We live our lives in phases”.  In order to make sure these changes, phases or seasons don’t derail or in some cases destroy your relationship.   Try making home a “stress free zone” as much as possible. Check in emotionally with one another regularly.  Don’t assume everything is fine, we are pros at deception and will tell ourselves “things are fine” or in some cases we may even say “they know me,  they understand me”.  That will never work, instead be purposeful about  spending quality time together,  build one another up during those tough times, share your feelings (good, bad, and indifferent) share your experiences, your faults and your failures but be careful not to use your spouse as your own personal “dumping ground” in the process.

I had to express this very thing to my husband not too long ago.   I was so tired of him coming home everyday complaining about the same thing.  Did I mention it was everyday for weeks ?   His response to me was,  ” If I can’t talk to you,  then who can I talk to”? The “talking” wasn’t  the problem, it was the content of the conversation, (I love hearing about his day normally), but no one wants to hear anyone complain, brag about or vent about the same thing, all the time!. The thing is, he didn’t even realize that he was doing it until it was brought to his attention.  He does now! 

Life gets hard and years pass but he or she is still the person you fell in love with.   Ask God to help you find those qualities you fell in love with.

If you get a chance sometime soon, go online and listen to Ed Sheerans song, “Thinking out loud” .  It is one of those songs that helps to remind you of what you love about one another.