Tag Archive | joy

Don’t Force It, Be Gentle

I realize that after children, careers and aging together, things will probably never be like they were in the beginning of our relationship but by using positive energy it is easier, I have the power to make subtle changes in any moment. I do things like kiss my husband when he doesn’t expect it, show him affection if I want affection in return and I definitely have learned not to make him responsible for change in our relationship when he doesn’t see a problem with how things are!

Remember, we tend to mirror our parents relationships, so if his dad wasn’t active or affectionate or handy around the house then he might not be either without a gentle nudge from us and whether we like it or not, we do tend to “turn into our parents”

2 Peter 4:8

If we sincerely love one another, that love will cover a multitude of sin (issues)

Practice makes perfect!

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Don’t accept just anyone into your life

In a time where so many are searching out true love, don’t assume anyone is desperate enough to put up with your foolishness. When seeking out a relationship you should always put your “best foot” forward but don’t lie about who you truly are or suppress your normal behavior (bad habits) too long. If you have issues, share them and try to work through them (therapy). It works! I know because I had to see someone after my mom passed away. Therapy is so important especially if you recognize a problem with you in past relationships.

No one deserves your brokenness when you can get help.

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“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Luke 6:31).

Breakthrough

I went to see the movie “Breakthrough” recently with my husband (our date night). It was AMAZING !! It reminded me of the great power we have through prayer. In the movie when the mothers child was in distress, she called on the power of God from the very depths of her soul seemingly (No spoilers here)!

As Christians, I believe we sometimes tend to down play the power of prayer, or not totally understand the true power which comes from and through prayer, often seeing it as the last resort rather than our first response to the issues of life. In an attempt to encourage one another, we say things like “Just pray about it, or “I’ll be praying for you” and then going on our way even forgetting about that need. We subconsciously seem to underestimate prayer, its significance and its power in the moment and in doing so we are robbed of the joy that God intended for us to experience through connecting with Him in such critical times. It is literally our connection and way to communicate with God!

I am blown away by the bold and powerful prayers of David, how he cried out to God and the boldness and cutting honesty in which he talked to Him. We don’t have to pray eloquently or sound like anyone else, we just need to talk to God from our hearts, but reverence Him as our Creator.

I’ve come to realize that we can humble ourselves before God and pray such bold, impossible sounding prayers because God desires a relationship with us even though He is infinitely powerful and nothing we pray is too small or insignificant for Him. He is right there waiting on us to trust Him enough to call on Him so that He can do great things for us.

Let’s pray like Davis (Psalms)

Don’t hurt them again

Have you ever found yourself using a painful or hurtful moment from the past as a weapon in the present. You know “that thing” that hurt them to their very core, how they did “that”, or when they said “that” and you said you forgave them for it but now you’re bringing it up AGAIN in order to make your point in anger.

Simply put, even if you find yourself absolutely, positively WRONG and you know you’re losing an argument, don’t reach back into the past, that’s a blow “below the belt” and it should never be okay, especially with someone you say you love.

Your only goal should be to solve the problem at hand (the current reason you’re arguing), not bringing up the past.

Remember the golden rule, it works when used correctly and regularly, “Do unto others just as you would want them to do unto you” Luke 6:31

Change is Good

Marriage requires a certain level of maturity as well as a lot of self control.  It has not always been present in my marriage but it is what has kept us together for all these years.  Once we both learned to choose our battles and not wear our feelings on our shirt sleeve, things got much easier .  Now don’t get me wrong, real process takes some of us longer than others and to be honest, we may never really master it but if we get the basic premise of love and unselfish behavior down, life tends to change dramatically.

One of my local gospel personalities said, “Pride makes excuses but maturity makes adjustments”.  Oh my goodness!  How many times have you made an excuse for behaving badly towards one another?  Well, maturity keeps you working at doing what is right, and less likely responding in anger, and definitely not intentionally being hurtful.  Here’s the thing, we can not sustain change without Gods help and strength to working in us, no matter how badly we really want to, it’s hard and we must always check our motives for the change. Now ask yourself, “Have I asked God to help me to change for me?  “Do I really even want to change” then once you identify your reason for wanting change, go to your Heavenly Father, ask Him to help you with the process, ask Him to help you to love one another just as He loves us, unconditionally.    Now all you have to do is start behaving in love as you continue to pray for Gods help to sustain the change in you.

Remember, you may fail a few times before you get it, but “Practice makes perfect and you will know when you have matured beyond your own ability because you will start to give more of yourself than you may be receiving without much effort at all, you may walk away from confrontations instead of speaking in anger, and most things that angered you in the past may even become comical because The Holy Spirit will help you to see how childish some reactions really are.

“Love (charity) starts at home and then spreads abroad”

Don’t Be Obsessed Over It

MONEY! Are you always trying to figure out how to get more, how to get rich, or how to live the “high life”

If you are a Christ follower, you should know the word of God warns against striving for riches

Mark 10:25. In fact, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!”


1 Timothy 6:10. For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows. v11. But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.

Besides, if God hasn’t been able to trust you with hundreds or thousands, why would he bless you with more, which according to His word would ruin your life eventually, so why are you asking for millions?

Luke 6:10. He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much; and he who is unrighteous in a very little thing is unrighteous also in much.

Change your mindset concerning money. Strive to be responsible with that which you already have by living within your means, by caring for those you are responsible for, and by using what you have to bless others, you reveal the glory of God within you and in return you will see how much more your life will be blessed. It will seem as though you have more because God increases that which you already have.

Change your mindset about money and your life will be changed

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Misunderstood

Recently I had a melt down, after church no less!

It was Sunday morning and we decided to go to the early church service. After church we decided to do a Costco and Sprouts run for our weekly gasoline and groceries. Because we were out of church so early I wanted to go to breakfast. Apparently my husband wasn’t into it so much or so I thought. Little did I know he was trying to find a Cracker Barrel closer to home without telling me but I assumed he expected me to go home and cook breakfast and even though I was wrong, I was angry by the time he got to the restaurant. This was a simple misunderstanding due to a lack of communication. I felt the way I did because I cook most days and I just didn’t want to cook that morning. I was feeling resentful anyway, complaining constantly about wanting to be more active with him but he’s tired when he gets home from work and because I’ve been alone all day, I’m ready to talk, to do anything other than sit around and watch television.

Fast forward to Monday morning, I’m watching the Today show (my morning routine) they had a couple on, the wife and mother Lisa Leonard had written a book after similar experiences in her marriage called “Brave love”. During the interview her first words were “I was so desperately sad and empty, I tried for so long to give and give believing if I could make my husband happy and my kids happy, we would be a happy family, instead I felt like I was disappearing”. She was speaking my heart in that moment in some ways, she said what I had just felt the day before! My mouth hung open in awe of what was happening. God always gives me what I need when I need it and this was no different. I got it! It’s not what is required of me, it’s what my family had come to expect of me, because it’s the way it had always been. I did this to myself, now it’s up to me to make some changes. I just felt taken advantage of is all. Side note, I also just read my little devotional and it’s talking about the same thing😳 “Yet in all things give thanks”. Yes, It’s happening for a reason.

The point I’m trying to make is, you are never alone in how you feel no matter what you are feeling or what you’re going through. Talk to others and you’ll see!

I know I have to get out and do more for myself. My goal is to find more to do outside my home and not depend on my husband to give me purpose since our children are grown and gone. I’m sure he will appreciate it.

Remember, the feeling of isolation and insecurity is real! especially to a stay at home spouse and if these feelings are left unchecked they can destroy even the best relationships.

Ephesians 4:25-27

Ecclesiastes 4:7-12