Tag Archive | anger

Be Kind

Times are so different now which makes most any negative situation almost impossible to resolve without good communication.

The devil has made sure we don’t talk enough, we don’t touch and we don’t even make eye contact and because of that we can quickly misunderstand each other. Our lives are literally filled with STUFF! Work, activities, television shows etc.,

So, when disagreements or misunderstandings occur in our relationships and marriages, how do we handle them? Are you the type of person who shuts down, who avoids confrontations, or are you the type who gets overly emotional when it comes to confronting issues head on.

Well, no matter how you handle it, you can count on the devil doing his thing in your mind (thoughts), “You should’ve said”, ” Why did you let them get away with that”, “They don’t care about your feelings anyway”, “You should be sick of this….. and I could go on button I’m sure you get the picture. My point is, don’t allow the enemy of mankind and everything that is good, to cause you to be uncomfortable about speaking your feelings, speaking your hurt, acknowledging your pain to the one person you vowed to love forever.

Be sure to always pray for peace and understanding in your relationships then speak your heart regularly, not loudly and not in anger, and definitely not with accusations. Instead make your point softly, with love, in a kind way, in hopes of a resolution almost every time.

Remember, practice makes almost perfect!

Ephesians 4:32

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as Christ forgave you.

2 Timothy 2:24

And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.

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Breakthrough

I went to see the movie “Breakthrough” recently with my husband (our date night). It was AMAZING !! It reminded me of the great power we have through prayer. In the movie when the mothers child was in distress, she called on the power of God from the very depths of her soul seemingly (No spoilers here)!

As Christians, I believe we sometimes tend to down play the power of prayer, or not totally understand the true power which comes from and through prayer, often seeing it as the last resort rather than our first response to the issues of life. In an attempt to encourage one another, we say things like “Just pray about it, or “I’ll be praying for you” and then going on our way even forgetting about that need. We subconsciously seem to underestimate prayer, its significance and its power in the moment and in doing so we are robbed of the joy that God intended for us to experience through connecting with Him in such critical times. It is literally our connection and way to communicate with God!

I am blown away by the bold and powerful prayers of David, how he cried out to God and the boldness and cutting honesty in which he talked to Him. We don’t have to pray eloquently or sound like anyone else, we just need to talk to God from our hearts, but reverence Him as our Creator.

I’ve come to realize that we can humble ourselves before God and pray such bold, impossible sounding prayers because God desires a relationship with us even though He is infinitely powerful and nothing we pray is too small or insignificant for Him. He is right there waiting on us to trust Him enough to call on Him so that He can do great things for us.

Let’s pray like Davis (Psalms)

Don’t Be An Accuser

Try not to be a critical spirit (person), it can wreck a good relationship if not put in check.

Maybe no one has told you yet but no one person knows everything all of the time nor should things be done their way all the time.

If you’ve ever said “If I were you, I would…”, you might want to stop! You won’t ever know what you would do in any given situation unless you are put in that situation in that very moment!

The Bible says the enemy is called “The accuser” of the brethren” ( Revelation 12) Don’t be the person who always points out the mistakes or flaws of others (an accuser), be understanding and helpful instead of judgmental.

Full disclosure, I’ve been told that I can be critical at times and I continue working on it everyday knowing that some flaws never completely go away, we must simply learn self control in all situations. ; )

Don’t hurt them again

Have you ever found yourself using a painful or hurtful moment from the past as a weapon in the present. You know “that thing” that hurt them to their very core, how they did “that”, or when they said “that” and you said you forgave them for it but now you’re bringing it up AGAIN in order to make your point in anger.

Simply put, even if you find yourself absolutely, positively WRONG and you know you’re losing an argument, don’t reach back into the past, that’s a blow “below the belt” and it should never be okay, especially with someone you say you love.

Your only goal should be to solve the problem at hand (the current reason you’re arguing), not bringing up the past.

Remember the golden rule, it works when used correctly and regularly, “Do unto others just as you would want them to do unto you” Luke 6:31

Progressing or Disolving

Relationships are difficult enough as it is especially after the newness wears off and it’s what we do in response to the difficulties which come over time that have everything to do with how our relationships either progress or how they dissolve right before our eyes.

Ideally, we should find a person who possesses most of what we want in a mate during the dating process because, Let’s all say it together, “People don’t really change”. For the most part they are who they are going to be and in order for a relationship to survive frustrating times, we must be willing to continue to accept the good and the “not so good”. This includes their appearance, their speech, their beliefs, their bad habits, etc,.

Accept who they are (don’t try to change them, prove them wrong or to make a senseless point over and over again ). I’m speaking from experience!

Appreciate who they are (remind yourself and your partner why you fell in love with them)

Show Affection (kiss,touch and complement)

Be Attentive (be in the moment and listen to one another fully and completely)

Simple put, take on the same mindset you had of them while you were dating. If we focus on the negative that is exactly all we will see and the enemy of every good thing will make sure of it! Focus on the best of them, it will save your relationship.

1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, Love is kind…..

Change is Good

Marriage requires a certain level of maturity as well as a lot of self control.  It has not always been present in my marriage but it is what has kept us together for all these years.  Once we both learned to choose our battles and not wear our feelings on our shirt sleeve, things got much easier .  Now don’t get me wrong, real process takes some of us longer than others and to be honest, we may never really master it but if we get the basic premise of love and unselfish behavior down, life tends to change dramatically.

One of my local gospel personalities said, “Pride makes excuses but maturity makes adjustments”.  Oh my goodness!  How many times have you made an excuse for behaving badly towards one another?  Well, maturity keeps you working at doing what is right, and less likely responding in anger, and definitely not intentionally being hurtful.  Here’s the thing, we can not sustain change without Gods help and strength to working in us, no matter how badly we really want to, it’s hard and we must always check our motives for the change. Now ask yourself, “Have I asked God to help me to change for me?  “Do I really even want to change” then once you identify your reason for wanting change, go to your Heavenly Father, ask Him to help you with the process, ask Him to help you to love one another just as He loves us, unconditionally.    Now all you have to do is start behaving in love as you continue to pray for Gods help to sustain the change in you.

Remember, you may fail a few times before you get it, but “Practice makes perfect and you will know when you have matured beyond your own ability because you will start to give more of yourself than you may be receiving without much effort at all, you may walk away from confrontations instead of speaking in anger, and most things that angered you in the past may even become comical because The Holy Spirit will help you to see how childish some reactions really are.

“Love (charity) starts at home and then spreads abroad”

Don’t Be Obsessed Over It

MONEY! Are you always trying to figure out how to get more, how to get rich, or how to live the “high life”

If you are a Christ follower, you should know the word of God warns against striving for riches

Mark 10:25. In fact, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!”


1 Timothy 6:10. For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows. v11. But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.

Besides, if God hasn’t been able to trust you with hundreds or thousands, why would he bless you with more, which according to His word would ruin your life eventually, so why are you asking for millions?

Luke 6:10. He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much; and he who is unrighteous in a very little thing is unrighteous also in much.

Change your mindset concerning money. Strive to be responsible with that which you already have by living within your means, by caring for those you are responsible for, and by using what you have to bless others, you reveal the glory of God within you and in return you will see how much more your life will be blessed. It will seem as though you have more because God increases that which you already have.

Change your mindset about money and your life will be changed

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