Tag Archive | anger

Did I ask God to change me for me?

Marriage requires a certain level of maturity as well as self control.  It has not always been present in my marriage but it is what has kept us together for all these years.  Once we both learned to choose our battles and not wear our feelings on our shirt sleeve, things got much easier .  Now don’t get me wrong, it is a real process which takes some of us longer than others and to be honest, we may never really master it but if we get the basic premise of love and unselfish behavior mastered, life tends to change dramatically.

Recently one of my favorite local gospel personalities said, “Pride makes excuses but maturity makes adjustments”.  Oh my goodness!  How many times have you made an excuse for behaving badly towards one another?  Well, maturity keeps you working at doing what is right, and less likely from responding in anger, and definitely not intentionally being hurtful.  Here’s the thing, we can not sustain change without Gods strength to help us, no matter how bad we really want to it’s hard and we must always check our motives for the change.  Ask yourself, “Did I ask God to help me to change for me?  “Do I really even want to change” and once you identify your reason for change then go to your Heavenly Father and ask Him to help you with this process, ask Him to help you to love one another just as He loves you, unconditionally.    Now all you have to do is start behaving in love as you continue to pray for Gods strength to sustain that change in you.

You may fail a few times before you get it, but “Practice makes perfect.   You will know when you have matured beyond your own ability because you will start to give more of yourself than you may be receiving.   Without much effort,  you walk away from confrontations instead of speaking in anger, and most things that angered you in the past may even become comical.  because Gods help, you now see how childish some reactions really are.

“Love (charity) starts at home and then spreads abroad” Sir Thomas Browne.

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Is it really so bad?

Considering the senseless act of hate that took place in Las Vegas, I thought this post would be appropriate.
A tragedy such as this one should cause us to reflect on life differently.  Life is certainly too short to linger in bitterness, anger, unhappiness or disputes.  We must Try not to sweat the small stuff, Forgive quickly and move forward.  Live your best life everyday with the ones you love because the reality is, sickness, disease, tragedy, disaster, and even death can happen suddenly and we almost never expect it,  but we have to deal with it,  so ask yourself, “How would I want to leave things Forever”!!!



 Trying Times

When God allows a “Storm” in your life, it has a purpose and He is going to be with you through it!

One of my favorite Gospel radio personalities KD Bowe Praise 102.5 Atlanta said recently, “It matters not so much what we go through but it is more about how we go through hard times that can either draw us closer to God or cause us to fall away from Him“.  Hardships are a part of life but just as a young man I heard interviewed after the Houston flood understood that if God brought him and his family to this point in his life (The loss of everything he possessed) he believed that God would bless him to get through it. He didn’t sound bitter at all, as a matter of fact, when asked by the reporter what he was going to do, his response was “I don’t know but I’m thankful, then he said “God is good”.  He was thankful and he recognized that he and his family were safe and were going to be fine, and I believe they will because he stood for the kingdom of God proudly and boldly in the face of what may have been his darkest moment as a young man, a husband and a father.    His heart was pure in his in the midst of total devastation, and his trust was in God.  

Gods word says “Man born of a woman is of a few days and full of trouble” Job 14:1, and as hard as it seems during those trying times, they are meant to strengthen our faith in God because we are trusting Him to help us through it, James 1:3.  

So, yes it matters more how we go through tough times than it does what we go through.

I Apologize 

So, I’ve been very impatient with my husband lately, you know how we get.  Yes, I’ve been nagging and complaining about little things like him sucking his teeth instead of getting a tooth pick and getting totally irritated by how he eats chips very loudly or, this is big! how he always finds a way not to be wrong.

Well!  Yesterday morning as soon as we got in the car for church the radio dj said, “if you are happy with 90% of your spouses behavior then why not see the other 10% as being under construction”.  In other words deal with it with grace.

 Then when we get to church the Pastor in his sermon said “If your passion is not your spouse, being with them and meeting all their needs, then you are missing the mark”. I felt as if God spoke to both of us in the span of 1 hour, and we both heard Him and we quietly committed to change.

1 Peter 4:8 Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of (flaws) sin

All In


Let’s keep it 100 (real). Marriage is not always easy but the way in which we go through life struggles with spouses has everything to do with how we come out of any situation. It is vitally important that we operate in kindness and understanding.  Put yourself in your spouses position in that moment of confusion (love), show love and compassion (kind), and in most cases (not always), you will get love and compassion in return (humble).

1 Corinthians 13:4 NIV

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It’s a marriage not a competition 

When People of faith get married, the Bible says “we become one body” in the site of God.  Being “One” means, We win together or We lose together!  Nothing is just about us as individuals any longer.  

Let’s learn to work together, save together, cook together,  clean the house together, conversate together, live, love and laugh together, and even cry together.  That’s what growing together is!  It’s not how much more or less than you, “I can do”.  Do unto others as we would have them do unto us” Luke 6:31.  We don’t hold back or hold out on ourselves, do we! We do the best we can for us, so if we are truly “One”, act like it.  Selfishness begets selfishness.

Mark 12:31,  “Love your neighbor (that includes your spouse) as yourself.   For there is no greater commandment”.

 You Vowed to Love, Honor, and Obey (Cherish) 🤔

Then why do you think it’s so hard sometimes to be patient, to smile or to even speak kind words to the person who you stood before God and in the presence of witnesses, and pledged (vowed) to love,  honor,  and cherish, “till death us do part”.

Maybe this is you, and maybe you’ve attempted to change in the past but sadly find yourself always falling back into your old ways of anger,  hostility, intolerance, or even impoliteness.   Paul (the writer of  Romans) says,  “When I would do good,  evil is always present”.   This scripture is proof that we need God to help us with our behavior as well as lifes challenges which we are not capable of overcoming of our own strength. I have a solution!!    Why not Ask God!!. He made you,   He knows your every weakness, strength and  your hearts desire to be a better you.  Think about it, we tend to pray about everything else that seems to be of importantance to us, why not our relationship problems, our bad habits, and especially childhood issues which we haven’t yet resolved.  If not resolve, overcome, or controlled, they will truly reak havoc on a relationship in adulthood.

Now please understand,  a change can never take place if you don’t recognize that you are guilty of any of these behaviors. My prayer for you, is that you are first honest enough to recognize the truth about yourself, and from this day forward you would at least treat one another with the common courtesy and the respect you may show to your coworkers, and even complete strangers!   We all have do it!   I’ve been guilty of the same behavior myself, but thank God for allowing me to see my own flaws and then I correct myself.

Don’t put it off,  start by pledging not to leave your home another day, and allow yourself to treat coworkers, associates or even perfect strangers better than the person you vowed to love, honor and cherish!   Practice better behavior, speaking kindly, softly, and lovingly.  

Our mission above all in marriage should be, to love each other as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it.  

1.  Love flows through a marriage which lives up to mutual responsibility and respect. Love is not self seeking, it’s not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong doings. (1 Corinthians 13:5)

2.  Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:31-32)

3.  “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13)