Tag Archive | anger

Lesson Learned

This is a recent post from my daughters Facebook post. It’s a long read but well worth the time if you struggle with hearing from God

Warning Signs…

Have you ever seen warning signs about something you really want? You are praying about it and supposedly waiting to hear from God, when you are really hearing from God through the warning signs, but you ain’t trying to hear that, so you keep praying until you hear what you want to hear? Yep, that just happened to me. Let’s just say I should have listened.

I have been wanting to go back to teaching for awhile now. I just want to get my standard certificate and complete that goal that has haunting me since I didn’t choose to complete the teaching program in undergrad. For some reason, every time I have tried it does not work. Moving to TX was another opportunity, so I jumped on it. I enrolled in a certification program, did the coursework and then applied for jobs. Had a few interviews while I was “praying about it”. All of them went well, but nobody called back immediately. 🤔Some friends were asking me why I wanted to go back to work. My only reasons were to put a check mark in the box for “I finally got my standard teaching certification”, and having my “more” money to shop with. Not to change lives, not because teaching is my passion, not because we needed extra income. None of that! So my reason was wrong in the first place. I just wanted to feel like I was doing something, and I wanted more money to play with.

Long story short, a school called (over a month after the interview) and offered me a job. I said hmmm this must be God opening up the door I had already felt He closed and confirmed through several people. But I accepted and soon there after I knew it was wrong. How many of you know that we can cause unessecary pain, stress, you name it, because of disobedience and following our own self-centered ambitions? 🤦🏾‍♀️ I told Jarvis I felt like I was getting a whopping!

Just because something works out, does not always mean it’s God. Well things started falling apart. I was stressed, overwhelmed, mean, and irritable at home. Then everyone we hired to keep the girls before school so that I could work changed their mind or couldn’t do it. Jarvis works a crazy schedule so he and I were not seeing much of each other. He was stretched and stressed working 12hr days 6 days a week, then all of a sudden trying to do the things that I have always done.

I had to take a step back a realize what I was doing to my family because I wanted more. God showed me why the answer has been no, but I had to “touch that hot pot to know it burned”. I had to own up to my mistake, swallow my pride, and walk away from the program and job.

My family is my full-time job, my first priority, and when I try to convince myself that there should be more for me, I am reminded that God has always kept us and given us more than what we need. ” When you are grateful for what you have, what you have becomes enough.” God provides. Do I want to work? Yes, but I want it to work for my family. I want God to direct me (and I listen) in what I do and it not just to be about money. Until that opportunity comes, I will be a happy at home serving my family.

Lesson learned. I hope it helps someone.

Advertisements

There is a way that seems right but is it right for you?

Some time ago, I’d been saying things about my husbands appearance (no room to talk) hoping he would make a few small changes. The problem was, I wasn’t being very gentle in my approach “on purpose”.

When he’d had just about enough, he let me have it!! He told me the things I had been saying to him were hurtful and down right mean! As you can imagine, that wasn’t anything I wanted to hear. That wasn’t what I was trying to do, after all I was only trying to help him “See things my way”.

I knew exactly what was doing, I was being critical of him, telling him in a not so tactful way. In my defense, I thought if I did, i would get results quicker. It was how “I” wanted him to look, to dress and to speak and it hadn’t worked at all. In fact it had done the complete opposite, he turned on me, he was angry, resentful and not trying to hear a word I was saying at this point.

I had created a MONTSER, this was not my sweet, “happy go lucky” husband at all, and It was all my own undoing. Now it was up to me to reverse the behavior and calm the BEAST I’d created.

I had to first admit what I had done! I was wrong! I owned up to it. I asked God to forgive me and then I apologized to my husband immediately, explaining my motives, and true to his nature, the sweet, thoughtful man he is, he understood. He accepted my heart felt apology and soon returned to his happy little self, not growling, not grumpy or angry anymore.

BUT! The metamorphosis only took place when I humbled myself and apologized, otherwise I might have had a front row seat to watch my wonderful marriage turn into something very ugly! Something unrecognizable and I sure as heck wasn’t going to allow that to happen to us!

The moral of this story is, don’t make someone miserable in the process of trying to make yourself happier !!

Philippians 4:11

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.

Proverbs 15:1

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

Child like faith

This morning I woke up with a scripture on my mind, I repeated it in my mind over and over then reached for my bible to read the memory verse of day, it was the same scripture of the day (John 10:10)

I know that God wants only the best for us (life more abundantly) but we don’t seem to really get that, we really may not quite understand how He is God, the Creator of everything or even how deeply He cares for us!

That brings me to such a sweet memory of our granddaughter Grace. Grace was such a surprise to us, all because my daughter had no plans to have another child. In spite of all that, her pregnancy with Grace was better than her first. That may be why it took her some time to come to grips with the fact that she was truly pregnant again, even though her belly was steadily growing! It took us all some time to get used to the idea we would have to love another little person as much as we loved our first, but of course we did.

The funny thing is that Grace was born seemingly unhappy! She cried and cried (no colic) just unhappy. My daughter ended up going back to the hospital due to complications after giving birth. I was left to take care of the two little ones alone because my son in law stayed with my daughter in the hospital. I usually have no problem calming babies but not that little new born. Grace seemed angry and inconsolable and she stayed that way for months. My husband was the only one that seemed to be able to calm her with his monotone humming, lol!

We found out later what some of her problem was, she couldn’t hear well! but once that was taken care of she was better not great but I will never forget it, when Grace was around the age of 3, I got a call from my daughter that Grace was crying uncontrollably, when asked why so sad Grace, her explanation to my daughter was mind boggling;

In Graces baby voice;

I “weally” miss God! I want to go back to heaven to be with Him. He is so nice and He played with me. I don’t want to stay, I just want to visit Him. (Mind blown)!!!

Although my faith is strong, in that moment it was strengthened even more. That baby seemed to remember and long for Heaven and God. She still says and does things that remind us of that experience. She closes her eyes and sings with her whole heart and just recently started praise dance at their church. My daughter sent me a video of the dance, When i asked Grace and her sister Hannah if they were nervous, Hannah said “I was” but Grace’s response was “I just dance for Jesus, Hannah! just act like He’s right there”!! Just dance for God. Child like faith!!

God is right there! He is love and He wants us to love Him with child like faith, to be obedient to His word, to trust Him and know that He wants nothing but the best for us! He wants to give us life more abundantly.

Matthew 18:2-4

And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Watch out now!

Love, expectance, and tolerance, whether it be learned behavior, practiced or genetic, the struggle is real! It’s not always easy to be good, do good and to walk in line with Gods word!

We are directed to try with all our hearts to love and be at peace with one another! and that includes our spouses. He (the Lord) requires of us to love unconditionally, not “If they do, then I will”. If we say we love God, then we must love one another, PERIOD!!

Proverbs 6:16-19

There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him:

1. haughty eyes (thinks highly of ones self over others)

2. a lying tongue (not completely honest)

3. hands that shed innocent blood (murderer)

4. a heart that devises wicked plans (setting snares/planning wrong)

5. feet that make haste to run to evil (messy/ lovers of confusion)

6. a false witness who breathes out lies (under oath) who sow discord among family

It’s Time To Make A Change

Friendships are beautiful most of the time but there are some that can be unhealthy;

Have you ever been involved with someone who seems to always keep something going (troublemaker, liar, or even bullies)?

The Bible is our instruction on everything! including how we deal with people in every walk of life.  If someone is a troublemaker, a habitual liar or someone who looks down on others (thinks too highly of themselves), they may be your friend but you have not been able to influence them to behave better-then you should probably not deal with them regularly. The Bible warns that if you are not careful they will end up influencing you instead!

Proverbs 22:24-25 “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare”

Titus 3:10  “As for a person who stirs up division, after warning them once and then twice, have nothing more to do with them”

Matthew 5:9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God”

Love is Patient and Kind

There seems to be a running theme with people today, It is impatience and intolerance. We don’t seem to be able to contain our anger or frustrations with one another and it’s affecting the lives of our families and friends greatly.

It’s funny though (not ha ha) how we tend to choose who we are patient with (who receives our full wrath) and who we choose to be tolerant with instead of extending  grace to everyone indiscriminately.  Sadly our tolerance is less with our spouses, children and family members and more with strangers 😞.

If we consistently conduct our lives in love, then we show the same love to everyone which our heavenly Father shows toward us daily.

Love is patience, kind, full of joy, showingself control…Galatians 5:22

Proverbs 19:11

Proverbs 22:4

Proverbs 29:11

15 Seconds of Fame

In a time when “Random acts of kindness” seem to be strategically set up, recorded and publicized regularly on social media, and news outlets, we (Christ followers) must know and remember that Gods word says good deeds done in secret are really the ones that count.

Is what you do Gods work? Is it really from the heart? Or are you looking for your 15 seconds of fame?

Matthew 6:1

Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.

Hebrews 13:16

Do not neglect to do good, and to share what you have, for such sacrifices please God