Tag Archive | peace

Don’t accept just anyone into your life

In a time where so many are searching out true love, don’t assume anyone is desperate enough to put up with your foolishness. When seeking out a relationship you should always put your “best foot” forward but don’t lie about who you truly are or suppress your normal behavior (bad habits) too long. If you have issues, share them and try to work through them (therapy). It works! I know because I had to see someone after my mom passed away. Therapy is so important especially if you recognize a problem with you in past relationships.

No one deserves your brokenness when you can get help.

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“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Luke 6:31).

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Don’t Be An Accuser

Try not to be a critical spirit (person), it can wreck a good relationship if not put in check.

Maybe no one has told you yet but no one person knows everything all of the time nor should things be done their way all the time.

If you’ve ever said “If I were you, I would…”, you might want to stop! You won’t ever know what you would do in any given situation unless you are put in that situation in that very moment!

The Bible says the enemy is called “The accuser” of the brethren” ( Revelation 12) Don’t be the person who always points out the mistakes or flaws of others (an accuser), be understanding and helpful instead of judgmental.

Full disclosure, I’ve been told that I can be critical at times and I continue working on it everyday knowing that some flaws never completely go away, we must simply learn self control in all situations. ; )

Progressing or Disolving

Relationships are difficult enough as it is especially after the newness wears off and it’s what we do in response to the difficulties which come over time that have everything to do with how our relationships either progress or how they dissolve right before our eyes.

Ideally, we should find a person who possesses most of what we want in a mate during the dating process because, Let’s all say it together, “People don’t really change”. For the most part they are who they are going to be and in order for a relationship to survive frustrating times, we must be willing to continue to accept the good and the “not so good”. This includes their appearance, their speech, their beliefs, their bad habits, etc,.

Accept who they are (don’t try to change them, prove them wrong or to make a senseless point over and over again ). I’m speaking from experience!

Appreciate who they are (remind yourself and your partner why you fell in love with them)

Show Affection (kiss,touch and complement)

Be Attentive (be in the moment and listen to one another fully and completely)

Simple put, take on the same mindset you had of them while you were dating. If we focus on the negative that is exactly all we will see and the enemy of every good thing will make sure of it! Focus on the best of them, it will save your relationship.

1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, Love is kind…..

Misunderstood

Recently I had a melt down, after church no less!

It was Sunday morning and we decided to go to the early church service. After church we decided to do a Costco and Sprouts run for our weekly gasoline and groceries. Because we were out of church so early I wanted to go to breakfast. Apparently my husband wasn’t into it so much or so I thought. Little did I know he was trying to find a Cracker Barrel closer to home without telling me but I assumed he expected me to go home and cook breakfast and even though I was wrong, I was angry by the time he got to the restaurant. This was a simple misunderstanding due to a lack of communication. I felt the way I did because I cook most days and I just didn’t want to cook that morning. I was feeling resentful anyway, complaining constantly about wanting to be more active with him but he’s tired when he gets home from work and because I’ve been alone all day, I’m ready to talk, to do anything other than sit around and watch television.

Fast forward to Monday morning, I’m watching the Today show (my morning routine) they had a couple on, the wife and mother Lisa Leonard had written a book after similar experiences in her marriage called “Brave love”. During the interview her first words were “I was so desperately sad and empty, I tried for so long to give and give believing if I could make my husband happy and my kids happy, we would be a happy family, instead I felt like I was disappearing”. She was speaking my heart in that moment in some ways, she said what I had just felt the day before! My mouth hung open in awe of what was happening. God always gives me what I need when I need it and this was no different. I got it! It’s not what is required of me, it’s what my family had come to expect of me, because it’s the way it had always been. I did this to myself, now it’s up to me to make some changes. I just felt taken advantage of is all. Side note, I also just read my little devotional and it’s talking about the same thing😳 “Yet in all things give thanks”. Yes, It’s happening for a reason.

The point I’m trying to make is, you are never alone in how you feel no matter what you are feeling or what you’re going through. Talk to others and you’ll see!

I know I have to get out and do more for myself. My goal is to find more to do outside my home and not depend on my husband to give me purpose since our children are grown and gone. I’m sure he will appreciate it.

Remember, the feeling of isolation and insecurity is real! especially to a stay at home spouse and if these feelings are left unchecked they can destroy even the best relationships.

Ephesians 4:25-27

Ecclesiastes 4:7-12

Get Over It

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This is such a cute illustration of what happens in even the best relationships from time to time.

Have you ever said, “I love you but I don’t like you very much right now”? It’s nothing strange to be in love and not “like” one another, just don’t allow anger or misunderstandings to linger.   Anger and misunderstandings left unchecked only allow room for destruction in your relationship.  

 So get over yourself, I know how you may feel but for the sake of your relationship, your family and your future together, “Don’t sweat the small stuff”.  It’s just not worth it!  

Here’s something which has helped me down through the years. If there is a problem  between me and my husband we can’t seem to resolve, I pray and ask God for a time when my husband will be more receptive to listen to my hearts cry that he might better understand my issue concerning him in that moment and without fail God works in and through us both in a way in which we are not able to accomplish on our own.  

God is amazing, and He is always there waiting for us to allow Him to be Lord over our lives.

Hebrews 12:15
“See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows to cause trouble and defile many”

Going back to the beginning

I took some time away from blogging because I felt as though there was only so much I could talk about concerning marriage and relationships. I also felt as if my readers liked my blog, but it became mundane and maybe a little lengthy at times so they stopped reading as often. I have since felt as if I needed to get back to it so, Here I am!

I’m going back to revise some old posts because we do change and we understand things differently.

To those of you who may be new to my blog, my husband and I have been married for over 38 years! We are flawed and we are human and we will make mistakes, we don’t always see eye to eye, we love each other, we respect one another but most of all we look to the Lord God for help when we can’t seem to find a resolution within ourselves.

I look forward to sharing with you and I pray that my words help you to grow.

Gob bless you

Lesson Learned

This is a recent post from my daughters Facebook post. It’s a long read but well worth the time if you struggle with hearing from God

Warning Signs…

Have you ever seen warning signs about something you really want? You are praying about it and supposedly waiting to hear from God, when you are really hearing from God through the warning signs, but you ain’t trying to hear that, so you keep praying until you hear what you want to hear? Yep, that just happened to me. Let’s just say I should have listened.

I have been wanting to go back to teaching for awhile now. I just want to get my standard certificate and complete that goal that has haunting me since I didn’t choose to complete the teaching program in undergrad. For some reason, every time I have tried it does not work. Moving to TX was another opportunity, so I jumped on it. I enrolled in a certification program, did the coursework and then applied for jobs. Had a few interviews while I was “praying about it”. All of them went well, but nobody called back immediately. 🤔Some friends were asking me why I wanted to go back to work. My only reasons were to put a check mark in the box for “I finally got my standard teaching certification”, and having my “more” money to shop with. Not to change lives, not because teaching is my passion, not because we needed extra income. None of that! So my reason was wrong in the first place. I just wanted to feel like I was doing something, and I wanted more money to play with.

Long story short, a school called (over a month after the interview) and offered me a job. I said hmmm this must be God opening up the door I had already felt He closed and confirmed through several people. But I accepted and soon there after I knew it was wrong. How many of you know that we can cause unessecary pain, stress, you name it, because of disobedience and following our own self-centered ambitions? 🤦🏾‍♀️ I told Jarvis I felt like I was getting a whopping!

Just because something works out, does not always mean it’s God. Well things started falling apart. I was stressed, overwhelmed, mean, and irritable at home. Then everyone we hired to keep the girls before school so that I could work changed their mind or couldn’t do it. Jarvis works a crazy schedule so he and I were not seeing much of each other. He was stretched and stressed working 12hr days 6 days a week, then all of a sudden trying to do the things that I have always done.

I had to take a step back a realize what I was doing to my family because I wanted more. God showed me why the answer has been no, but I had to “touch that hot pot to know it burned”. I had to own up to my mistake, swallow my pride, and walk away from the program and job.

My family is my full-time job, my first priority, and when I try to convince myself that there should be more for me, I am reminded that God has always kept us and given us more than what we need. ” When you are grateful for what you have, what you have becomes enough.” God provides. Do I want to work? Yes, but I want it to work for my family. I want God to direct me (and I listen) in what I do and it not just to be about money. Until that opportunity comes, I will be a happy at home serving my family.

Lesson learned. I hope it helps someone.