Tag Archive | pray

Did I ask God to change me for me?

Marriage requires a certain level of maturity as well as self control.  It has not always been present in my marriage but it is what has kept us together for all these years.  Once we both learned to choose our battles and not wear our feelings on our shirt sleeve, things got much easier .  Now don’t get me wrong, it is a real process which takes some of us longer than others and to be honest, we may never really master it but if we get the basic premise of love and unselfish behavior mastered, life tends to change dramatically.

Recently one of my favorite local gospel personalities said, “Pride makes excuses but maturity makes adjustments”.  Oh my goodness!  How many times have you made an excuse for behaving badly towards one another?  Well, maturity keeps you working at doing what is right, and less likely from responding in anger, and definitely not intentionally being hurtful.  Here’s the thing, we can not sustain change without Gods strength to help us, no matter how bad we really want to it’s hard and we must always check our motives for the change.  Ask yourself, “Did I ask God to help me to change for me?  “Do I really even want to change” and once you identify your reason for change then go to your Heavenly Father and ask Him to help you with this process, ask Him to help you to love one another just as He loves you, unconditionally.    Now all you have to do is start behaving in love as you continue to pray for Gods strength to sustain that change in you.

You may fail a few times before you get it, but “Practice makes perfect.   You will know when you have matured beyond your own ability because you will start to give more of yourself than you may be receiving.   Without much effort,  you walk away from confrontations instead of speaking in anger, and most things that angered you in the past may even become comical.  because Gods help, you now see how childish some reactions really are.

“Love (charity) starts at home and then spreads abroad” Sir Thomas Browne.

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 Trying Times

When God allows a “Storm” in your life, it has a purpose and He is going to be with you through it!

One of my favorite Gospel radio personalities KD Bowe Praise 102.5 Atlanta said recently, “It matters not so much what we go through but it is more about how we go through hard times that can either draw us closer to God or cause us to fall away from Him“.  Hardships are a part of life but just as a young man I heard interviewed after the Houston flood understood that if God brought him and his family to this point in his life (The loss of everything he possessed) he believed that God would bless him to get through it. He didn’t sound bitter at all, as a matter of fact, when asked by the reporter what he was going to do, his response was “I don’t know but I’m thankful, then he said “God is good”.  He was thankful and he recognized that he and his family were safe and were going to be fine, and I believe they will because he stood for the kingdom of God proudly and boldly in the face of what may have been his darkest moment as a young man, a husband and a father.    His heart was pure in his in the midst of total devastation, and his trust was in God.  

Gods word says “Man born of a woman is of a few days and full of trouble” Job 14:1, and as hard as it seems during those trying times, they are meant to strengthen our faith in God because we are trusting Him to help us through it, James 1:3.  

So, yes it matters more how we go through tough times than it does what we go through.

I Apologize 

So, I’ve been very impatient with my husband lately, you know how we get.  Yes, I’ve been nagging and complaining about little things like him sucking his teeth instead of getting a tooth pick and getting totally irritated by how he eats chips very loudly or, this is big! how he always finds a way not to be wrong.

Well!  Yesterday morning as soon as we got in the car for church the radio dj said, “if you are happy with 90% of your spouses behavior then why not see the other 10% as being under construction”.  In other words deal with it with grace.

 Then when we get to church the Pastor in his sermon said “If your passion is not your spouse, being with them and meeting all their needs, then you are missing the mark”. I felt as if God spoke to both of us in the span of 1 hour, and we both heard Him and we quietly committed to change.

1 Peter 4:8 Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of (flaws) sin

Marriage is Honorable 

While on a road trip recently ,  my husband was listening to one of his favorite old school CDs when a song (Put it on paper) came on.  It reminded me of something our minister said in his sermon that Sunday .  He talked about how he counseled a couple who were having problems first of all because the man in the relationship didn’t want to get married.  His statement to the minister was, “Why do I need a piece of paper to say I’m committed to a person”.  The minister responded so wisely in my opinion with this statement; He said,  Do you drive, you must have a drivers license.  Do you have a weapon, then you must have a permit to carry it.  Do you fish, then you have to have a fishing license, So if you are willing to obtain a license for all those things, why not love her enough to do the legal and spiritually correct thing and marry her if you are truly committed to her and the relationship???
And just this morning I heard on the morning show why Opra Winfrey said she couldn’t marry long time partner excuses, excuses, excuses!   Bottom line is, don’t allow anyone to devalue you with their selfish excuses or childhood issues and personal hang ups.  If they aren’t willing to do the right thing by you,  they might not be the right person for you.

Hebrews 13:4. Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

For Peace Sake

I watched a dance show the other night and a couple who were contestants shared candidly about how they had trouble in their relationship, and how it was at that point they had to make a decision whether they were going to work out their relationship or allow their marriage to fail.  They chose to make a conscious effort to stay married each and every day through any bad feelings or misunderstandings in order to work out their differences and make their marriage work.

Sometimes things get so hard in our relationships that we must take extreme measures if we are going to survive together.   I suggest from my own experience that you try to start each day praying together, before the stress of the day begins.  Start each day committing to staying married, committing to working out issues, not arguing, not fighting, not fussing and not sweating the small stuff.  It’s a very intimate moment and it will allow you to hear from the heart of the person you love.

As I said to some good friends yesterday, choose your battles wisely, don’t bicker about every little thing, things that you know deep down in your heart aren’t going to change much, if at all.  Resolve to find a better way to deal with those things for peace sake, and above all remember that God looks over our faults, so let’s learn to be gracious and merciful towards one another as well.

1 Corinthians 3:14, love is patient, love is kind

Roman 12:18, if possible so much as it depends on you, live at peace with one another 

It could have been me

As I watched the news yesterday,  I saw a mother who did not know where her son was after the mass shooting in Orlando Florida at a gay night club.   My heart melted for her as she explained how she was not getting help finding her son.   She described him in detail as her tears flowed. Her love for her son was so evident, and her pain penetrated my soul.

I immediately put myself in her place and knew that even if my son or daughter decided to live an alternative lifestyle  (gay), I would still love them deeply because as their mother, I gave birth to them, they lived in my body for 9 months, and  I always have their best interest in mind.

Pray for the mothers and the families of those who died as well as those who were injured. 

We can not stand in judgment,  we simply must love and should pray for those who are hurting.   God will be the judge.   We are commanded to love, so let’s do just that.

Matthew 7:1-3.
Judge not, that you be not judged

John 13:34
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.