Tag Archive | problems

Check Yourself!

In order to get along with others, we must sometimes be willing to accept constructive Criticisms. Have you heard this saying; “If people in your life who don’t know each other say the same thing about you, then it might be true”. If this is you, try not to become defensive, or frustrated, instead evaluate what is being said about you, and be brutally honest with yourself in the process.

In my house we say “Check yourself”. So when you realize an unflattering truth about yourself, don’t get down about it, instead ask God to help you to change it. I say “Ask God” because we all know when we are wrong for the most part, and we sometimes try to change and we may always seem to fall short, and fall back into those old ways or habits, and they are probably things we don’t even like about ourselves.

Remember, if it were simple, we wouldn’t still be trying to change. The best way to become a better person is by being a loving person, a person who loves enough to change hurtful or harmful ways or bad habits. The change will be for our own good as well as for the good of those who love us and those who are forced to deal with us each and everyday.

Romans 12:17
17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.

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Is it really so bad?

Considering the senseless act of hate that took place in Las Vegas, I thought this post would be appropriate.
A tragedy such as this one should cause us to reflect on life differently.  Life is certainly too short to linger in bitterness, anger, unhappiness or disputes.  We must Try not to sweat the small stuff, Forgive quickly and move forward.  Live your best life everyday with the ones you love because the reality is, sickness, disease, tragedy, disaster, and even death can happen suddenly and we almost never expect it,  but we have to deal with it,  so ask yourself, “How would I want to leave things Forever”!!!



All In


Let’s keep it 100 (real). Marriage is not always easy but the way in which we go through life struggles with spouses has everything to do with how we come out of any situation. It is vitally important that we operate in kindness and understanding.  Put yourself in your spouses position in that moment of confusion (love), show love and compassion (kind), and in most cases (not always), you will get love and compassion in return (humble).

1 Corinthians 13:4 NIV

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

Marriage is Honorable 

While on a road trip recently ,  my husband was listening to one of his favorite old school CDs when a song (Put it on paper) came on.  It reminded me of something our minister said in his sermon that Sunday .  He talked about how he counseled a couple who were having problems first of all because the man in the relationship didn’t want to get married.  His statement to the minister was, “Why do I need a piece of paper to say I’m committed to a person”.  The minister responded so wisely in my opinion with this statement; He said,  Do you drive, you must have a drivers license.  Do you have a weapon, then you must have a permit to carry it.  Do you fish, then you have to have a fishing license, So if you are willing to obtain a license for all those things, why not love her enough to do the legal and spiritually correct thing and marry her if you are truly committed to her and the relationship???
And just this morning I heard on the morning show why Opra Winfrey said she couldn’t marry long time partner excuses, excuses, excuses!   Bottom line is, don’t allow anyone to devalue you with their selfish excuses or childhood issues and personal hang ups.  If they aren’t willing to do the right thing by you,  they might not be the right person for you.

Hebrews 13:4. Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

For Peace Sake

I watched a dance show the other night and a couple who were contestants shared candidly about how they had trouble in their relationship, and how it was at that point they had to make a decision whether they were going to work out their relationship or allow their marriage to fail.  They chose to make a conscious effort to stay married each and every day through any bad feelings or misunderstandings in order to work out their differences and make their marriage work.

Sometimes things get so hard in our relationships that we must take extreme measures if we are going to survive together.   I suggest from my own experience that you try to start each day praying together, before the stress of the day begins.  Start each day committing to staying married, committing to working out issues, not arguing, not fighting, not fussing and not sweating the small stuff.  It’s a very intimate moment and it will allow you to hear from the heart of the person you love.

As I said to some good friends yesterday, choose your battles wisely, don’t bicker about every little thing, things that you know deep down in your heart aren’t going to change much, if at all.  Resolve to find a better way to deal with those things for peace sake, and above all remember that God looks over our faults, so let’s learn to be gracious and merciful towards one another as well.

1 Corinthians 3:14, love is patient, love is kind

Roman 12:18, if possible so much as it depends on you, live at peace with one another 

Never Assume Anything

When you love or care for someone, (even if you don’t), and your relationship is not quite what it used to be, DO NOT “ass-u-me” anything.  DO NOT allow the devil to operate in your thoughts or in your life,.  After all,  he is “the father of lies”, confusion, and deception.  He is the author of anything that is wrong (get the picture).

A resolution can be just a conversation away, in most cases.  Don’t allow the fear of rejection,  embarrassment to keep you bound or consumed with negative thoughts towards anyone.

In my experience, if you ask God to help you,  to give you a time to discuss  what’s bothering you or to help you to get to the bottom of a problem,  He will, but you have to be willing to wait for His direction, His guidance,  and not act on  your own.  We have a way of making matters worse when we act on our own. God can soften hearts and open ears to hear exactly what needs to be said and received, in order to resolve an issue.  
“Wait on The Lord and be of good courage, and He will strengthen your heart”  Psalms 27:14

Proverbs 17:14
The beginning of strife is like releasing the water of a dam; Therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts”