Tag Archive | better relationships

The Good Old Days

It seems as though time is slipping away right before our very eyes. Are you making the most of your time? I believe we try to make time for who and what is important to us or so we think, but can you truly be present (in the moment) with yourcell phone, your iPad or tablet in your face, mindlessly scrolling the internet, through Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest or looking at sports videos and YouTube, Nope!

I remember a simpler time, back when my husband and I had so much contempt for the devices we are now literally “joined at the hip” with. We even talked back then about how “those darn mobile phones” would be the demise of society. The young people were using them in order not to have real interaction, they were a way out of having to deal with people. Now adults are doing the same thing!

We actually peaked into the future, didn’t we!

If this is going to change, we must now be intentional with putting our devices down, making eye contact, saying “Hi”. Your conversation could be the only real and hopefully (positive) interaction a person has today.

Here’s the thing, If you are older, you remember what life was like without a mobile phone, tablets, and all this technology. The world was a much friendlier place, people talked, there was very little internet activity at home (it was at work only) to rob us of hours of our precious time on earth.

Don’t fret! We can get it back! Good old fashioned communication is not totally lost. We just have to be intentional in doing it! Say “Hi” to a stranger, have a conversation in the doctors office, on the elevator, in line waiting for coffee or try this, pick up your phone and call someone instead of texting them!

Let’s go back to the “old time” ways

Colossians 4:5

Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time.

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Fresh or Stale

It is said that some things get better with age (a good wine, a well aged steak etc), but I add, they only get better with proper care, and maintenance. I’m 57 now but even as a young wife, the one thing I vowed would never be okay in my marriage was for us to lose our passion (not love) for one another, and I work very hard at making sure we stay connected. My husband has his way as well, he has always been active in making sure I’m happy and laughing. He is a “Joker”.

It really helps that I had great examples of a healthy relationship, with love, and respect from my parents., Yes! your children are watching and learning how to love and relate from your example.

Example;

I love to dance but my husband doesn’t like to so much (in public), so sometimes when he’s feeling it, he puts on a slow song and reaches for me, and I melt right into his arms. Yesssssss! 😍

I challenge you, think about how you used to get your spouses attention romantically. Why not start doing that (Yes! That!) again. A relationship grows old, stale, and stagnant when proper care is not taken to maintain, and to keep it fresh and vibrant.

A Recipe for Longevity

I thought this could really help those of you dating or thinking of marriage. These questions were on a morning show I watch and I wanted to share them with you;

*Know who you are, but realize you are ever changing and you need someone willing to evolve with you

*Are you a better person because of them (do they bring out the best in you)

*Are you a balanced couple (religion, children, interests, finance..,). Talk about your differences

*Can you have fun apart (if they only want to be with you and can’t seem to have a life aside from you that may be a red flag)

*Are you a parent or a partner (make sure that you are not getting involved with someone who needs you for unhealthy reasons)

*Do they have your back (are they supportive of you)

Communication is key in all relationships. Just some food for thought 🤔

To Give or Not to Give

Does giving gifts have take away from the true meaning of Christmas? No, it does not. If we focus on the wonderful gift of salvation the Lord has given us (Isaiah 9:6), giving to others is a natural expression of that gratitude. The key is our focus. Is your focus on the gift, or on the ultimate gift-giver, our gracious Heavenly Father? “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights…” (James 1:17).

I was doing some Christmas shopping the other day and started to feel some kind of way about the serious stress I was seeing on the faces of other shoppers.  I listened to conversations and watched disputes take place all in the name of Christmas giving.

It was depressing, I felt a bit convicted about the whole thing.  Why do we try to do so much, stressing over pleasing people when the purpose is to give a thoughtful gift in the name of love and kindness.

The reason is I believe is that we are now doing way too much.  We want to impress others, we want to compete with others, and in the process we create more debt than we can afford.

Let’s try to remember the real reason for this season, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ selflessly coming into this world to save us from eternal suffering.

It’s pretty simple, show love in how you care. Give meaningful gifts, gift that supply a need not just a want, and not just at Christmas

Check Yourself!

In order to get along with others, we must sometimes be willing to accept constructive Criticisms. Have you heard this saying; “If people in your life who don’t know each other say the same thing about you, then it might be true”. If this is you, try not to become defensive, or frustrated, instead evaluate what is being said about you, and be brutally honest with yourself in the process.

In my house we say “Check yourself”. So when you realize an unflattering truth about yourself, don’t get down about it, instead ask God to help you to change it. I say “Ask God” because we all know when we are wrong for the most part, and we sometimes try to change and we may always seem to fall short, and fall back into those old ways or habits, and they are probably things we don’t even like about ourselves.

Remember, if it were simple, we wouldn’t still be trying to change. The best way to become a better person is by being a loving person, a person who loves enough to change hurtful or harmful ways or bad habits. The change will be for our own good as well as for the good of those who love us and those who are forced to deal with us each and everyday.

Romans 12:17
17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.

Happy Thanksgiving

The optimism which guides my life is what I am truly thankful for.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future

Trust God to guide your life. Give thanks for Jesus for His great sacrifice. Live according to Gods word and watch Him do great things in you and through you

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Wife, Happy Life?

If you were to ask my husband about how his marriage works so well, he would tell you that he keeps me happy. It’s true! and in return I do what it takes to keep him happy.

There are many components to having a good relationship, one is a continuous cycle of give and take, and it shouldn’t be conditional (I’ll do for you, if you do for me) nor should it be based on whether you are getting all you want out of the relationship all of the time. Love is supposed to be unconditional. “Love one another as I have loved you”

Everyone has a “Love language” I read a book titled, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, is a 1995 book by Gary Chapman. I learned that my husbands love language was “Acts of Service”. No, i’m not his servant but, I do know that nothing makes him happier than a good meal or me pampering him, so I cook for him and I pamper him (it gets old sometimes) but he deserves all I do for him and more because he is operating as the husband God called him to be. He is my protector, my provider, my spiritual covering, and my friend.

Maybe you’ve gotten so comfortable or complacent in your relationship that it doesn’t seem so important to do those special little things anymore. Well, I’m here to tell you, It still Is! It takes even more effort the longer you’re together in order for your relationship to stay alive and thriving.

Everyone loves to be appreciated, whether it’s spoken or physically shown, so reciprocate, give back, counter, return, however you say it. The Bible puts it like this; “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Luke 6:31). Don’t look at it as a chore, see it as an investment in your happiness and your future.

Ladies and gentleman, if you have a wonderful spouse or mate, make sure they know how you feel. Show them, and tell them because love is truly an action word.

Husbands, 1 Peter 3:7 is a powerful scripture concerning your wife, and your prayers. It talks about how important a peaceful existence with your wife is. Take a look and see.