Tag Archive | better relationships

Did I ask God to change me for me?

Marriage requires a certain level of maturity as well as self control.  It has not always been present in my marriage but it is what has kept us together for all these years.  Once we both learned to choose our battles and not wear our feelings on our shirt sleeve, things got much easier .  Now don’t get me wrong, it is a real process which takes some of us longer than others and to be honest, we may never really master it but if we get the basic premise of love and unselfish behavior mastered, life tends to change dramatically.

Recently one of my favorite local gospel personalities said, “Pride makes excuses but maturity makes adjustments”.  Oh my goodness!  How many times have you made an excuse for behaving badly towards one another?  Well, maturity keeps you working at doing what is right, and less likely from responding in anger, and definitely not intentionally being hurtful.  Here’s the thing, we can not sustain change without Gods strength to help us, no matter how bad we really want to it’s hard and we must always check our motives for the change.  Ask yourself, “Did I ask God to help me to change for me?  “Do I really even want to change” and once you identify your reason for change then go to your Heavenly Father and ask Him to help you with this process, ask Him to help you to love one another just as He loves you, unconditionally.    Now all you have to do is start behaving in love as you continue to pray for Gods strength to sustain that change in you.

You may fail a few times before you get it, but “Practice makes perfect.   You will know when you have matured beyond your own ability because you will start to give more of yourself than you may be receiving.   Without much effort,  you walk away from confrontations instead of speaking in anger, and most things that angered you in the past may even become comical.  because Gods help, you now see how childish some reactions really are.

“Love (charity) starts at home and then spreads abroad” Sir Thomas Browne.

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It’s a marriage not a competition 

When People of faith get married, the Bible says “we become one body” in the site of God.  Being “One” means, We win together or We lose together!  Nothing is just about us as individuals any longer.  

Let’s learn to work together, save together, cook together,  clean the house together, conversate together, live, love and laugh together, and even cry together.  That’s what growing together is!  It’s not how much more or less than you, “I can do”.  Do unto others as we would have them do unto us” Luke 6:31.  We don’t hold back or hold out on ourselves, do we! We do the best we can for us, so if we are truly “One”, act like it.  Selfishness begets selfishness.

Mark 12:31,  “Love your neighbor (that includes your spouse) as yourself.   For there is no greater commandment”.

For Peace Sake

I watched a dance show the other night and a couple who were contestants shared candidly about how they had trouble in their relationship, and how it was at that point they had to make a decision whether they were going to work out their relationship or allow their marriage to fail.  They chose to make a conscious effort to stay married each and every day through any bad feelings or misunderstandings in order to work out their differences and make their marriage work.

Sometimes things get so hard in our relationships that we must take extreme measures if we are going to survive together.   I suggest from my own experience that you try to start each day praying together, before the stress of the day begins.  Start each day committing to staying married, committing to working out issues, not arguing, not fighting, not fussing and not sweating the small stuff.  It’s a very intimate moment and it will allow you to hear from the heart of the person you love.

As I said to some good friends yesterday, choose your battles wisely, don’t bicker about every little thing, things that you know deep down in your heart aren’t going to change much, if at all.  Resolve to find a better way to deal with those things for peace sake, and above all remember that God looks over our faults, so let’s learn to be gracious and merciful towards one another as well.

1 Corinthians 3:14, love is patient, love is kind

Roman 12:18, if possible so much as it depends on you, live at peace with one another 

In the midst of this chaos

To all of you who have lost heart concerning this whole political process, this is nothing new.  When we turn away from God, this is what happens.  Satan wants us to feel hopeless, helpless and even angry. Satan wants us to forget or not to truly understand the power of God.  But I am here to remind you that God Rules over Everything including satan and what we must do is repent and turn from sin,  pray (God’s Word) and trust Him to deliver us just as He did for the children of Israel who turned their back on God and His law, just as America has.

God desires a relationship with us, (that’s us reading and living His word, communicating with Him regularly, and praying), then we can say to Him that which His word says concerning our issues, Not because He forgot His promise but because a relationship with Him is what moves God to work on our behalf.

2 Chronicles 7:22

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2 Chronicles 7:14

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Jealously IS NOT Flattering

While re-reading one of my favorite books,  (The Shack), this phrase called out to be addressed ;  “Trust is the fruit of a healthy relationship in which you recognize that you are loved.  The Shack. William P. Young
I wanted to address jealousy in relationships, especially if you are the type of person who thinks a little jealousy is flattering.  I suggest that you recognize it may also be a red flag for trouble to come in the future of your relationship.  
The fact is that most relationships which lack trust are full of turmoil, therefor the relationship usually doesn’t survive.   In contrast to a healthy relationship in which you believe that the two of you belong together and can weather any storm.
If jealousy is your struggle,  I pray that you would Ask God today to help you to put your insecurities aside and allow your trust, and love to shine bright, in order to over shadow your insecurities, in return this should strengthen your relationship.
James  3:16 (ESV) “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice”

Giving it all you got

My husband and I regularly  reflect on our lives together.  We certainly realize how differently our lives could have been if we had not met, fallen in love, gotten married, and stayed married.   It’s important to express to one another how much we appreciate each other for being supportive throughout our lives together with all of its crooks, and turns. 

The thing is,  life is largely what we make of it.   You have more control over your future than you realize. Trusting God, and living a life of obedience to His Word is the beginning of joy, peace, and happiness,  and success

God’s Word promises us so much, Her only asks for our obedience to His word.  

“If you abide in Me and My Word abides in you, you can ask whatever you will, and it shall be given unto you” (John 15:7).  

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”.  (Jeremiah 29:11)