Tag Archive | better relationships

It’s a marriage not a competition 

When People of faith get married, the Bible says “we become one body” in the site of God.  Being “One” means, We win together or We lose together!  Nothing is just about us as individuals any longer.  

Let’s learn to work together, save together, cook together,  clean the house together, conversate together, live, love and laugh together, and even cry together.  That’s what growing together is!  It’s not how much more or less than you, “I can do”.  Do unto others as we would have them do unto us” Luke 6:31.  We don’t hold back or hold out on ourselves, do we! We do the best we can for us, so if we are truly “One”, act like it.  Selfishness begets selfishness.

Mark 12:31,  “Love your neighbor (that includes your spouse) as yourself.   For there is no greater commandment”.

For Peace Sake

I watched a dance show the other night and a couple who were contestants shared candidly about how they had trouble in their relationship, and how it was at that point they had to make a decision whether they were going to work out their relationship or allow their marriage to fail.  They chose to make a conscious effort to stay married each and every day through any bad feelings or misunderstandings in order to work out their differences and make their marriage work.

Sometimes things get so hard in our relationships that we must take extreme measures if we are going to survive together.   I suggest from my own experience that you try to start each day praying together, before the stress of the day begins.  Start each day committing to staying married, committing to working out issues, not arguing, not fighting, not fussing and not sweating the small stuff.  It’s a very intimate moment and it will allow you to hear from the heart of the person you love.

As I said to some good friends yesterday, choose your battles wisely, don’t bicker about every little thing, things that you know deep down in your heart aren’t going to change much, if at all.  Resolve to find a better way to deal with those things for peace sake, and above all remember that God looks over our faults, so let’s learn to be gracious and merciful towards one another as well.

1 Corinthians 3:14, love is patient, love is kind

Roman 12:18, if possible so much as it depends on you, live at peace with one another 

In the midst of this chaos

To all of you who have lost heart concerning this whole political process, this is nothing new.  When we turn away from God, this is what happens.  Satan wants us to feel hopeless, helpless and even angry. Satan wants us to forget or not to truly understand the power of God.  But I am here to remind you that God Rules over Everything including satan and what we must do is repent and turn from sin,  pray (God’s Word) and trust Him to deliver us just as He did for the children of Israel who turned their back on God and His law, just as America has.

God desires a relationship with us, (that’s us reading and living His word, communicating with Him regularly, and praying), then we can say to Him that which His word says concerning our issues, Not because He forgot His promise but because a relationship with Him is what moves God to work on our behalf.

2 Chronicles 7:22

image

2 Chronicles 7:14

image

Jealously IS NOT Flattering

While re-reading one of my favorite books,  (The Shack), this phrase called out to be addressed ;  “Trust is the fruit of a healthy relationship in which you recognize that you are loved.  The Shack. William P. Young
I wanted to address jealousy in relationships, especially if you are the type of person who thinks a little jealousy is flattering.  I suggest that you recognize it may also be a red flag for trouble to come in the future of your relationship.  
The fact is that most relationships which lack trust are full of turmoil, therefor the relationship usually doesn’t survive.   In contrast to a healthy relationship in which you believe that the two of you belong together and can weather any storm.
If jealousy is your struggle,  I pray that you would Ask God today to help you to put your insecurities aside and allow your trust, and love to shine bright, in order to over shadow your insecurities, in return this should strengthen your relationship.
James  3:16 (ESV) “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice”

Giving it all you got

My husband and I regularly  reflect on our lives together.  We certainly realize how differently our lives could have been if we had not met, fallen in love, gotten married, and stayed married.   It’s important to express to one another how much we appreciate each other for being supportive throughout our lives together with all of its crooks, and turns. 

The thing is,  life is largely what we make of it.   You have more control over your future than you realize. Trusting God, and living a life of obedience to His Word is the beginning of joy, peace, and happiness,  and success

God’s Word promises us so much, Her only asks for our obedience to His word.  

“If you abide in Me and My Word abides in you, you can ask whatever you will, and it shall be given unto you” (John 15:7).  

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”.  (Jeremiah 29:11) 

No Not One!

So, have you ever found yourself  being envious of the relationship you think other couples have?  Well, I have  but I also can’t count the  times I have been told ” You guys seem to have the perfect relationship” or “I wish we had what you guys have”.  “If walls could talk” you would see just how much alike we may actually be.  You have to understand that most of us put our best foot forward in the presence of others   We allow them to only see the best of us,  the happy, the fun or the affectionate part of our relationship while we are in the company of others.  So don’t allow envy of another couples relationship to destroy your own relationship because in most cases,  it’s not completely what you think it is!    

There is absolutely NO perfect relationship between anyone, and that includes me and my hubby. Ours like most, is a work in progress. 

Your goal should simply be to implement ideas,  language, and even activities, in your relationship which please you both, and which betters your ability to communicate with one another, that’s it! That’s a recipe for a wonderful relationship

Exodus 20:17

Choose your battles

When confronted with the dilemma of being right, or being kind,  choose kindness.   Believe me, there will be other opportunities to make your point  (if it is important enough) without confrontation or dispute. 

Pray for opportunities to resolve disputes, there’s no reason to deal with anything alone.  God is able to do that which we are not quite able to manage on our own.

Proverbs 15:1
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 17:14
The beginning of strife is like letting out water,  so quit before the quarrel breaks out.