Marriage requires a certain level of maturity as well as self control. It has not always been present in my marriage but it is what has kept us together for all these years. Once we both learned to choose our battles and not wear our feelings on our shirt sleeve, things got much easier . Now don’t get me wrong, it is a real process which takes some of us longer than others and to be honest, we may never really master it but if we get the basic premise of love and unselfish behavior mastered, life tends to change dramatically.
Recently one of my favorite local gospel personalities said, “Pride makes excuses but maturity makes adjustments”. Oh my goodness! How many times have you made an excuse for behaving badly towards one another? Well, maturity keeps you working at doing what is right, and less likely from responding in anger, and definitely not intentionally being hurtful. Here’s the thing, we can not sustain change without Gods strength to help us, no matter how bad we really want to it’s hard and we must always check our motives for the change. Ask yourself, “Did I ask God to help me to change for me? “Do I really even want to change” and once you identify your reason for change then go to your Heavenly Father and ask Him to help you with this process, ask Him to help you to love one another just as He loves you, unconditionally. Now all you have to do is start behaving in love as you continue to pray for Gods strength to sustain that change in you.
You may fail a few times before you get it, but “Practice makes perfect“. You will know when you have matured beyond your own ability because you will start to give more of yourself than you may be receiving. Without much effort, you walk away from confrontations instead of speaking in anger, and most things that angered you in the past may even become comical. because Gods help, you now see how childish some reactions really are.
“Love (charity) starts at home and then spreads abroad” Sir Thomas Browne.
So, I’ve been very impatient with my husband lately, you know how we get. Yes, I’ve been nagging and complaining about littlethings like him sucking his teeth instead of getting a tooth pick and getting totally irritated by how he eats chips very loudly or, this is big! how he always finds a way not to be wrong.
Well! Yesterday morning as soon as we got in the car for church the radio dj said, “if you are happy with 90% of your spouses behavior then why not see the other 10% as being under construction”. In other words deal with it with grace.
Then when we get to church the Pastor in his sermon said “If your passion is not your spouse, being with them and meeting all their needs, then you are missing the mark”. I felt as if God spoke to both of us in the span of 1 hour, and we both heard Him and we quietly committed to change.
1 Peter 4:8 Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of (flaws) sin
I know Valentine’s Day isn’t a favorite holiday for some BUT!! We all love to feel appreciated, and we all love to be told “Thank you”, don’t we? That’s what you are saying when you take the time to do something special for the one you love. So, no matter how you may feel about the holiday, make it a point to go out of your way to do something special for them just because you love them, and you want to show your appreciation for all they do everyday for you and your family.
For most people, it doesn’t take a lot of money to show someone that you care, it just takes a little imagination. It can be as simple as a quiet moment together where you make a declaration of your love or a promise to be more mindful of them, a card with a heart felt message, a romantic candle lite dinner at home (you get to skip all the crowds, the waiting and the expense). If you can’t cook, get take out and dress it up at home. You know, set the table with plates, wine glasses, folded napkins, silverware, some candles and turn on some soft music, that’s it!! You can get all of that from a “Dollar store” if you don’t have it already!! Get your flowers from the grocery store, they are much cheaper and you don’t have to worry about delivery on Sunday.
My husband buys me flowers because he knows that’s what I like, and I usually cook him a special dinner because I know that’s what he likes. I don’t always expect anything and I know he’s not crazy about how expensive things get around these special calendar days, but he does it for me not for himself. My point is that you know your spouse, your girl or your guy, and if you sit down and give it just a little thought, I’m sure you’ll come up with something just right for them, something that they will appreciate. You still have time! Valentine’s Day is Sunday.
Now, if you didn’t know already, they will be asked, “What did you get for Valentine’s Day” or “What did you do for Valentine’s Day”? Make it your goal to give them a wonderful response to that question come Monday.
Love is not selfish, it is always giving, protecting, thoughtful, considerate, patient, kind……
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “Love never fails”
Happy Valentines to all of you, and thank you
You know how you dread family gatherings because you always end up doing or saying something you wish you hadn’t, “people pushing your buttons on purpose” or so you think. You are not alone! But!! I have a suggestion that may help. Make up your mind that everyone is not like you, they don’t always do things your way, they don’t always like everything you like, and you can deal with anyone and anything for a short period of time. Learn to accept people for who they are, whether they are loud and obnoxious, totataly condescending or painfully shy. Actually, we are all far from perfect, So put your big girl and big boy panties on, bite your tongue, be patient and be kind. No matter how you may feel about that person, nothing which causes you to avoid or to mistreat another human being is worth holding on to.
Search yourself and be honest, are you using how you feel as an excuse to act badly towards someone, to avoid family or are you seeking attention or sympathy from others by how you act out during gatherings? Remember that God knows all and He sees everything. We will be judged by our actions and we will give in account for our wrong doing, Period! God gave His only Son for the forgiveness of our sins, so why do we have the right to hold onto grudges, or bad feelings against anyone?
Now, as we all prepare to be with family and friends this holiday season, it is very simple if you desire to change and to please God. Pray and ask God to help you to be kind and to show His love. He looks over our faults everyday and still gives us grace and mercy. It is after all, the one thing He requires of us the most.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
There’s nothing better than a good laugh between you, and the one you love. I’ve always said that my husband’s sense of humor is one of the things which has kept us in love and together for all these years. He’s cute, and he’s a really funny guy, and yes, I’m a little bias (Smiling) .
If you are fortunate enough to have a loving, genuine, and honest person in your life, practice focusing on all of the positive they bring to your relationship, and less on the little annoying things they do. Look at it this way; If they merely annoy you every now and then, you should be capable of dealing with those annoying things a little better. We all must learn to be more tolerant of people in general, particularly if we love or, we are in love with them.
The “jokers” are easy to find in life, but the kings and queens are few and far between. Cherish them for the gifts they are.
“Hatred stirs up conflict but love covers a multitude of sin (wrong doing)” Proverbs 10:12