Marriage requires a certain level of maturity as well as self control. It has not always been present in my marriage but it is what has kept us together for all these years. Once we both learned to choose our battles and not wear our feelings on our shirt sleeve, things got much easier . Now don’t get me wrong, it is a real process which takes some of us longer than others and to be honest, we may never really master it but if we get the basic premise of love and unselfish behavior mastered, life tends to change dramatically.
Recently one of my favorite local gospel personalities said, “Pride makes excuses but maturity makes adjustments”. Oh my goodness! How many times have you made an excuse for behaving badly towards one another? Well, maturity keeps you working at doing what is right, and less likely from responding in anger, and definitely not intentionally being hurtful. Here’s the thing, we can not sustain change without Gods strength to help us, no matter how bad we really want to it’s hard and we must always check our motives for the change. Ask yourself, “Did I ask God to help me to change for me? “Do I really even want to change” and once you identify your reason for change then go to your Heavenly Father and ask Him to help you with this process, ask Him to help you to love one another just as He loves you, unconditionally. Now all you have to do is start behaving in love as you continue to pray for Gods strength to sustain that change in you.
You may fail a few times before you get it, but “Practice makes perfect“. You will know when you have matured beyond your own ability because you will start to give more of yourself than you may be receiving. Without much effort, you walk away from confrontations instead of speaking in anger, and most things that angered you in the past may even become comical. because Gods help, you now see how childish some reactions really are.
“Love (charity) starts at home and then spreads abroad” Sir Thomas Browne.
I am using an snippet from a fellow blogger (Loftspeaker1) who’s definitely got it right in my humble opinion when it comes to wives (or husbands) who long for more affection, that “New love” type of affection in their marriage again.
If there’s still a longing for romance bottle up inside you (because it’s almost nonexistent) , let that energy flow from inside you. Instead of wondering “Where is the love”, let it pour out of you back into your marriage again. SHOW your spouse what you need just like you used to. Let the romance you show them be the model of what you’d like shown back to you. Plan a romantic getaway, write them some love notes (be graphic), make candlelit dinners just for them. Let it be an ongoing building up of romance, excitement and expectation of what your plans are for them. They’ll be wondering what you’re going to do next and will hopefully use your acts/ ideas as a model for when they try to do a little something romantic for you next time.
Hebrews 13:4-6 “Marriage is honorable in all, and the marriage bed undefiled”
So, go get your sexy, spicey hot relationship back, there’s nothing holding you back but you, and remember this, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again”. Do Not give up if it fails the first time.
Well “it’s about time”! It is one of the most important relationships you will ever have, and the best advice I can give is, Stop being selfish! If you know you are bad with money and even though they do things differently from you, they seem to have a better relationship with finances than you do, give up the power!! Hand over the responsibility of bill paying, spending, and saving, and be willing to take good advice from your “better half”, cause they got it going on in that department !!
I know of what I speak because I did it, and things got so much better once I saw things my husbands way, (He’s gonna love this post!). We got so good at managing our finances that we are now debt free!! I’m not bragging, I’m just trying to help someone. I’m so glad I stopped being selfish and put into practice my husbands way of doing things because we still love each other and we are living the life God promised us!
If you recognize yourself in this post, don’t be so stubborn that you continue in the wrong direction just to spite your spouse. Be flexible and be honest concerning your weaknesses and flaws. Things can and most likely will change with your cooperation.
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God — who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly — and it will be given to him. —James 1:5
I sometimes find myself wondering if I’m on the right track spiritually. Am I fulfilling my life purpose. I know I love The Lord and I am trying to live my life according to His word, and then the Lord softly reassures me (through His word) that He is in control and He will orchestrate opportunity in my daily walk (work or leisure) to do His will in and through my life.
This always seems to happen when I begin to question my purpose, so there’s no need to try and force anything, simply study Gods word, stay prayerful, and be kind. The Lord gives us opportunity to share the love of Jesus, just listen for that urgent tug at your heart or a thought that won’t let you rest, then move or speak with love, and share your faith.
Give us this day all that we need and forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. Matthew 6
You could be rejected and not understand what’s happening. So let me help you out. When you keep reaching out, and they don’t reciprocate (return the gesture) it may be that they don’t want to talk, be friends, or communicate with you any longer. You should understand that most relationships are meant to be lifelong.
Try not to be upset if you are being ignored, avoided, or even “unfriended on social media”. See your own worth and decide that you are going to be adult about this, and even be okay with greeting them with a smile if you see them in passing.
So have your moment of “How dare they reject me” then tell yourself, If they want to go, let them go!
1 Peter 2:4 ESV, ” As you come to Him (Jesus), He is a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious”