Tag Archive | wives

Fresh or Stale

It is said that some things get better with age (a good wine, a well aged steak etc), but I add, they only get better with proper care, and maintenance. I’m 57 now but even as a young wife, the one thing I vowed would never be okay in my marriage was for us to lose our passion (not love) for one another, and I work very hard at making sure we stay connected. My husband has his way as well, he has always been active in making sure I’m happy and laughing. He is a “Joker”.

It really helps that I had great examples of a healthy relationship, with love, and respect from my parents., Yes! your children are watching and learning how to love and relate from your example.

Example;

I love to dance but my husband doesn’t like to so much (in public), so sometimes when he’s feeling it, he puts on a slow song and reaches for me, and I melt right into his arms. Yesssssss! ūüėć

I challenge you, think about how you used to get your spouses attention romantically. Why not start doing that (Yes! That!) again. A relationship grows old, stale, and stagnant when proper care is not taken to maintain, and to keep it fresh and vibrant.

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Marriage is Give & Take

Marriage is one of the most important relationships you will ever have, and the best advice I can give is, don’t be selfish! If you know you are bad with money and even though they do things differently from you, they seem to have a better relationship with finances than you do, give up the power!! Hand over the responsibility of bill paying, spending, and saving, and be willing to take good advice from your “better half“, cause they got it going on in that department !!

I know of what I speak because I did it, and things got so much better once I saw things my husbands way, (He’s gonna love this post!). We got so good at managing our finances that we are now debt free!! I’m not bragging, I’m just trying to help someone. I’m so glad I stopped being selfish and put into practice my husbands (vision) way of doing things because we still love each other and we are living the life God promised us!

If you recognize yourself in this post, don’t be so stubborn that you continue in the wrong direction just to spite your spouse and yourself! Be flexible and be honest concerning your weaknesses and flaws. Things can and most likely will change with your cooperation.

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God‚ÄČ‚Äč‚ÄĒ‚ÄČ‚Äčwho gives to all generously and ungrudgingly‚ÄČ‚Äč‚ÄĒ‚ÄČ‚Äčand it will be given to him. ‚ÄĒJames 1:5

15 Seconds of Fame

In a time when “Random acts of kindness” seem to be strategically set up, recorded and publicized regularly on social media, and news outlets, we (Christ followers) must know and remember that Gods word says good deeds done in secret are really the ones that count.

Is what you do Gods work? Is it really from the heart? Or are you looking for your 15 seconds of fame?

Matthew 6:1

Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.

Hebrews 13:16

Do not neglect to do good, and to share what you have, for such sacrifices please God

No More Excuses

Change is tough for us, it is emotionally challenging. it is not what we are used to doing, what we are used to saying, or who we are used to being. ¬†That’s why it’s so hard to change.

Now, It is said that in order to make change a habit, you must do whatever it is for at least 21 days consecutively. It is also said that if we make a change in one area of our lives, (yes, that), it can theoretically affect change in all areas of our lives.

If you know you want to be better, you want to behave better or you want to look better but you can’t quite seem to make it happen on your own, why not ask God to be your strength, or to be your voice of reason, and then you do your part and begin to make an effort and don’t stop trying! If you fail,

No more excuses! You can do it!

Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”.

Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these other things shall be added”, (Righteous things, Godly blessings), nothing is too big, too small or too hard for God! ¬†Just ask Him, He is able and He will change what you cannot change on your own.

Happy Wife, Happy Life?

If you were to ask my husband about how his marriage works so well, he would tell you that he keeps me happy. It’s true! and in return I do what it takes to keep him happy.

There are many components to having a good relationship, one is a continuous cycle of give and take, and it shouldn’t be conditional (I’ll¬†do for you, if you do for me) nor should it be based on whether you are getting all you want out of the relationship all of the time. Love is supposed to be unconditional. “Love one another as I have loved you”

Everyone has a “Love language” I read a book titled, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, is a 1995 book by Gary Chapman. I learned that my husbands love language was “Acts of Service”. No, i’m not his servant but, I do know that nothing makes him happier than a good meal or me pampering him, so I cook for him and I pamper him (it gets old sometimes) but he deserves all I do for him and more because he is operating as the husband God called him to be. He is my protector, my provider, my spiritual covering, and my friend.

Maybe you’ve gotten so comfortable or complacent in your relationship that it doesn’t seem so important to do those special little things anymore. Well, I’m here to tell you, It still Is! It takes even more effort the longer you’re together in order for your relationship to stay alive and thriving.

Everyone loves to be appreciated, whether it’s spoken or physically shown, so reciprocate, give back, counter, return, however you say it. The Bible puts it like this; “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Luke 6:31). Don’t look at it as a chore, see it as an investment in your happiness and your future.

Ladies and gentleman, if you have a wonderful spouse or mate, make sure they know how you feel. Show them, and tell them because love is truly an action word.

Husbands, 1 Peter 3:7 is a powerful scripture concerning your wife, and your prayers. It talks about how important a peaceful existence with your wife is. Take a look and see.

Did I ask God to change me for me?

Marriage requires a certain level of maturity as well as self control. ¬†It has not always been present in my marriage but it is what has kept us together for all these years. ¬†Once we both learned to choose our battles and not wear our feelings on our shirt sleeve, things got much easier . ¬†Now don’t get me wrong, it is a real process which takes some of us longer than others and to be honest, we may never really master it but if we get the basic premise of love and unselfish behavior mastered, life tends to change dramatically.

Recently one of my favorite local gospel personalities said, “Pride makes excuses but maturity makes adjustments”. ¬†Oh my goodness! ¬†How many times have you made an excuse for behaving badly towards one another?¬† Well, maturity keeps you working at doing what is right, and less likely from responding in anger, and definitely not intentionally being hurtful. ¬†Here’s the thing, we can not sustain change without Gods strength to help us, no matter how bad we really want to it’s hard and we must always check our motives for the change. ¬†Ask yourself, “Did I ask God to help me to change for¬†me? ¬†“Do I really¬†even want to change” and once you identify your reason for change then go to your Heavenly Father and ask Him to help you with this process, ask Him to help you to love one another just as He loves you,¬†unconditionally. ¬† ¬†Now all you have to do is start behaving in love as you continue to pray for Gods strength to sustain that change in you.

You may fail a few times before you get it, but “Practice makes perfect. ¬† You will know when you have matured beyond your own ability because you will start to give more of yourself than you may be receiving. ¬† Without much effort, ¬†you walk away from confrontations instead of speaking in anger, and most things that angered you in the past may even become comical. ¬†because Gods help, you now see how childish some reactions really are.

“Love (charity) starts at home and then spreads abroad” Sir Thomas Browne.

I Apologize

So, I recall a while back being very impatient with my husband, you know how we get and I may have been nagging him and complaining a lot about little things¬†such as him sucking his teeth after a meal instead of getting a tooth pick or getting totally “bent out of shape” about how he always finds a way not to be wrong no matter what!!

Well! ¬†On that particular Sunday as we got in the car the radio DJ spoke as if he were speaking directly to us, “If you are happy with 90% of your spouses behavior then why not see the other 10% as being under construction”. ¬†In other words deal with him with the same measure of grace that our Lord deals with you daily! When we got to church the Pastor in his sermon said as if he heard from God on our behalf, “If your passion is not your spouse, being with them, meeting all their needs, then you are missing the mark”. I knew God had spoken to both of us in the span of one hour, and we both heard Him loud and clear.

We quietly committed to change some things with Gods help.

1 Peter 4:8

Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sin (flaws)