Tag Archive | wives

Happy Wife, Happy Life?

If you were to ask my husband about how his marriage works so well, he would tell you that he keeps me happy. It’s true! and in return I do what it takes to keep him happy.

There are many components to having a good relationship, one is a continuous cycle of give and take, and it shouldn’t be conditional (I’ll do for you, if you do for me) nor should it be based on whether you are getting all you want out of the relationship all of the time. Love is supposed to be unconditional. “Love one another as I have loved you”

Everyone has a “Love language” I read a book titled, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, is a 1995 book by Gary Chapman. I learned that my husbands love language was “Acts of Service”. No, i’m not his servant but, I do know that nothing makes him happier than a good meal or me pampering him, so I cook for him and I pamper him (it gets old sometimes) but he deserves all I do for him and more because he is operating as the husband God called him to be. He is my protector, my provider, my spiritual covering, and my friend.

Maybe you’ve gotten so comfortable or complacent in your relationship that it doesn’t seem so important to do those special little things anymore. Well, I’m here to tell you, It still Is! It takes even more effort the longer you’re together in order for your relationship to stay alive and thriving.

Everyone loves to be appreciated, whether it’s spoken or physically shown, so reciprocate, give back, counter, return, however you say it. The Bible puts it like this; “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Luke 6:31). Don’t look at it as a chore, see it as an investment in your happiness and your future.

Ladies and gentleman, if you have a wonderful spouse or mate, make sure they know how you feel. Show them, and tell them because love is truly an action word.

Husbands, 1 Peter 3:7 is a powerful scripture concerning your wife, and your prayers. It talks about how important a peaceful existence with your wife is. Take a look and see.

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Did I ask God to change me for me?

Marriage requires a certain level of maturity as well as self control.  It has not always been present in my marriage but it is what has kept us together for all these years.  Once we both learned to choose our battles and not wear our feelings on our shirt sleeve, things got much easier .  Now don’t get me wrong, it is a real process which takes some of us longer than others and to be honest, we may never really master it but if we get the basic premise of love and unselfish behavior mastered, life tends to change dramatically.

Recently one of my favorite local gospel personalities said, “Pride makes excuses but maturity makes adjustments”.  Oh my goodness!  How many times have you made an excuse for behaving badly towards one another?  Well, maturity keeps you working at doing what is right, and less likely from responding in anger, and definitely not intentionally being hurtful.  Here’s the thing, we can not sustain change without Gods strength to help us, no matter how bad we really want to it’s hard and we must always check our motives for the change.  Ask yourself, “Did I ask God to help me to change for me?  “Do I really even want to change” and once you identify your reason for change then go to your Heavenly Father and ask Him to help you with this process, ask Him to help you to love one another just as He loves you, unconditionally.    Now all you have to do is start behaving in love as you continue to pray for Gods strength to sustain that change in you.

You may fail a few times before you get it, but “Practice makes perfect.   You will know when you have matured beyond your own ability because you will start to give more of yourself than you may be receiving.   Without much effort,  you walk away from confrontations instead of speaking in anger, and most things that angered you in the past may even become comical.  because Gods help, you now see how childish some reactions really are.

“Love (charity) starts at home and then spreads abroad” Sir Thomas Browne.

I Apologize 

So, I’ve been very impatient with my husband lately, you know how we get.  Yes, I’ve been nagging and complaining about little things like him sucking his teeth instead of getting a tooth pick and getting totally irritated by how he eats chips very loudly or, this is big! how he always finds a way not to be wrong.

Well!  Yesterday morning as soon as we got in the car for church the radio dj said, “if you are happy with 90% of your spouses behavior then why not see the other 10% as being under construction”.  In other words deal with it with grace.

 Then when we get to church the Pastor in his sermon said “If your passion is not your spouse, being with them and meeting all their needs, then you are missing the mark”. I felt as if God spoke to both of us in the span of 1 hour, and we both heard Him and we quietly committed to change.

1 Peter 4:8 Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of (flaws) sin

Help us pray for healing again

Over a year or so ago, I asked you to help us pray for healing from cancer for my friend Elise. God did just that, He healed her to the point that cancer was almost non existent in her body. Well the cancer has come back and has spread to other parts of Elise’s body. We believe that her healing will be on this side of life, so I ask all of you to stand with us in prayer for Elise and her healing. Please pray as specific as she has requested below, and we will give God praise for “He is still healing”. Please pray for a miracle in the life of this young woman and her family. Elise has 5 year old twins and a wonderful husband. She is a twin herself and has a fully devoted family as well as friends standing united in prayer and faith along side her. Please stand with us in believing for her healing on this side of life, in the name of Jesus Christ our Savior and Lord.


Have You Changed Your Mind?

 I remember as a child how when Mohamed Ali was interviewed before or after a fight, he would always say, “I am the greatest”, “I float like a butterfly, and sting like a bee”. He spoke that which he expected his life to be, and based on his boxing career, he succeeded just as he spoke and, as he expected. He was referred to as arrogant and conceited, but he WAS the greatest boxer in his day, because he spoke victory, never defeat over his own life and, most importantly he was about helping others.

It’s what we expect, that which we think about which expands in our lives. Change your thoughts, then you will change your world. Change your expectations, then your life can start to manifest that which you speak and believe. 

Proverbs 18:21. Death and life are in the power of the tongue

Proverbs 23:7 For as a man thinketh, so is he

John 10:10 “I have come that you may have life and have it more abundantly”

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”.

What!!!  Marriage is Trending

Well  “it’s about time”! It is one of the most important relationships you will ever have, and the best advice I can give is, Stop being selfish! If you know you are bad with money and even though they do things differently from you, they seem to have a better relationship with finances than you do, give up the power!! Hand over the responsibility of bill paying, spending, and saving, and be willing to take good advice from your “better half”, cause they got it going on in that department !!  

I know of what I speak because I did it, and things got so much better once I saw things my husbands way, (He’s gonna love this post!). We got so good at managing our finances that we are now debt free!! I’m not bragging, I’m just trying to help someone. I’m so glad I stopped being selfish and put into practice my husbands way of doing things because we still love each other and we are living the life God promised us!

If you recognize yourself in this post, don’t be so stubborn that you continue in the wrong direction just to spite your spouse. Be flexible and be honest concerning your weaknesses and flaws. Things can and most likely will change with your cooperation.

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God ​— ​who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly ​— ​and it will be given to him. —James 1:5

Let it All Hang Out

Times are so very different now than when my husband and I were dating, it makes me a little sad.   People hide behind lies or surface conversations, and you never seem to get below thier surface.  You meet online,  you text instead of talk.  Communication is vital, and face to face conversations allow you to see, instead of assume someone’s emotion from a txt msg.  Phone calls allow you to hear emotion as well.  Don’t allow someone who only wants to text, to get close to you. Their either not really serious or they have something to hide.

For your own good, take time to get to really know a person before you allow yourself to fall for someone you may think you know.    Don’t be afraid to ask questions you need answers to for fear of upsetting someone, that’s if you are dating for the purpose of finding a life long mate (marriage).  Involve God in your relationship, ask Him to show you all things that may be hidden, and then “watch as well as pray”.   As for yourself, “Let it all hang out”,  all of who you are, and see if they can handle the real you, especially if you know you have unresolved issues, issues that may have even ruined a promising relationship in the past (some things come only by prayer and fasting).  

What I am saying is, don’t be a deceiver and don’t allow yourself to be deceived.  The truth is always better than a lie.  So go ahead, and let them get to know who you really are!   And ask God to show you who they really are as well, after all,  the person meant for you can handle almost everything about you until,  even if a change ever takes place.  They could even be the reason you finally begin to want to work things out within yourself!

Proverbs 12:22 ESV   Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.
Proverbs 10:9 ESV  Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.