Tag Archive | wife

Check Yourself!

In order to get along with others, we must sometimes be willing to accept constructive Criticisms. Have you heard this saying; “If people in your life who don’t know each other say the same thing about you, then it might be true”. If this is you, try not to become defensive, or frustrated, instead evaluate what is being said about you, and be brutally honest with yourself in the process.

In my house we say “Check yourself”. So when you realize an unflattering truth about yourself, don’t get down about it, instead ask God to help you to change it. I say “Ask God” because we all know when we are wrong for the most part, and we sometimes try to change and we may always seem to fall short, and fall back into those old ways or habits, and they are probably things we don’t even like about ourselves.

Remember, if it were simple, we wouldn’t still be trying to change. The best way to become a better person is by being a loving person, a person who loves enough to change hurtful or harmful ways or bad habits. The change will be for our own good as well as for the good of those who love us and those who are forced to deal with us each and everyday.

Romans 12:17
17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.

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Happy Thanksgiving

The optimism which guides my life is what I am truly thankful for.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future

Trust God to guide your life. Give thanks for Jesus for His great sacrifice. Live according to Gods word and watch Him do great things in you and through you

Happy Thanksgiving

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

Why is it so hard to be thoughtful, considerate, or kind to someone, anyone in spite of how we may feel in a particular moment, yet we would dare to expect that same individual to over look our flaws and failures in order to be thoughtful or kind to us.

It’s a matter of respect, plain and simple

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Luke 6:31

 Forgive Me

In any relationship, it’s inevitable that we will make mistakes!  The thing is, to learn from those mistakes, never make the same mistake repeatedly, and don’t allow anyone to hold your mistake over your head.  Once The Lord forgives you, you are to move forward with thanksgiving, in humility and in wisdom with the intention of never committing that same transgression again.

Forgive others because God has forgiven you, forgive yourself and open yourself up to the opportunities that God has destined to come your way but they became delayed because of your disobedience.  True, you may still have to live with the consequences of your past mistakes……. But! you are never required by God to live with guilt, shame or regret.  Accept that your past mistakes may have caused the situation you are currently in but, quickly acknowledge the greater truth that your past mistakes which are now forgiven by God, do not need to impact the choices you will make for the rest of your life.

God is simply waiting for you to acknowledge your wrong……  Repent, confess it all to Him, and be blessed.

James 5:16 – Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

1 John 1:9 – If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Ephesians 4:32 – And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

Happily Ever After?

There is something lacking in today’s society, Patience! We want everything right now. We want it exactly the way we want it. If it’s not working the way we think it ought to, it is so easily discarded and we’re on to the next thing, relationship, friend, job etc,.

Does this phrase sound familiar at all?, “Anything worth having is worth fighting or working for”.

My “Oh so practical” husband says concerning our relationship; “I’d rather have 80% of the good in you than 80% of the worse. I can deal with 20% of anything if the rest is working out pretty well for me”

Why do we make relationships so hard? If there is more good than, not so good, then work on the “not so good” part till it’s better. The point I’m trying to make is, we all have flaws, issues and baggage from previous relationships, but it’s so much easier to see someone else’s flaws than it is to see our own. That’s why In any relationship, self evaluation is critical.

Ask yourself some vital questions such as, what would happen if I became …., what could our marriage not withstand….., what could make him/her feel differently about me. Talk regularly about things like this so that when an issue arises in your relationship, it won’t be blown out of proportion because you have communicated therefore you are better able to understand one another enough to get through them when they arise.

Do you realize that we are less likely to offend a good friend than we are our spouse or loved one. Why? Because we talk with our friends all the time, so why not extend that same courtesy to the person you vowed to love, honor and cherish or that person you are in a committed relationship with?

Live peaceably with all people, that means our spouses and loved ones too! (Romans 12:14-18)

Did I ask God to change me for me?

Marriage requires a certain level of maturity as well as self control.  It has not always been present in my marriage but it is what has kept us together for all these years.  Once we both learned to choose our battles and not wear our feelings on our shirt sleeve, things got much easier .  Now don’t get me wrong, it is a real process which takes some of us longer than others and to be honest, we may never really master it but if we get the basic premise of love and unselfish behavior mastered, life tends to change dramatically.

Recently one of my favorite local gospel personalities said, “Pride makes excuses but maturity makes adjustments”.  Oh my goodness!  How many times have you made an excuse for behaving badly towards one another?  Well, maturity keeps you working at doing what is right, and less likely from responding in anger, and definitely not intentionally being hurtful.  Here’s the thing, we can not sustain change without Gods strength to help us, no matter how bad we really want to it’s hard and we must always check our motives for the change.  Ask yourself, “Did I ask God to help me to change for me?  “Do I really even want to change” and once you identify your reason for change then go to your Heavenly Father and ask Him to help you with this process, ask Him to help you to love one another just as He loves you, unconditionally.    Now all you have to do is start behaving in love as you continue to pray for Gods strength to sustain that change in you.

You may fail a few times before you get it, but “Practice makes perfect.   You will know when you have matured beyond your own ability because you will start to give more of yourself than you may be receiving.   Without much effort,  you walk away from confrontations instead of speaking in anger, and most things that angered you in the past may even become comical.  because Gods help, you now see how childish some reactions really are.

“Love (charity) starts at home and then spreads abroad” Sir Thomas Browne.

Is it really so bad?

Considering the senseless act of hate that took place in Las Vegas, I thought this post would be appropriate.
A tragedy such as this one should cause us to reflect on life differently.  Life is certainly too short to linger in bitterness, anger, unhappiness or disputes.  We must Try not to sweat the small stuff, Forgive quickly and move forward.  Live your best life everyday with the ones you love because the reality is, sickness, disease, tragedy, disaster, and even death can happen suddenly and we almost never expect it,  but we have to deal with it,  so ask yourself, “How would I want to leave things Forever”!!!