I watched a dance show the other night and a couple who were contestants shared candidly about how they had trouble in their relationship, and how it was at that point they had to make a decision whether they were going to work out their relationship or allow their marriage to fail. They chose to make a conscious effort to stay married each and every day through any bad feelings or misunderstandings in order to work out their differences and make their marriage work.
Sometimes things get so hard in our relationships that we must take extreme measures if we are going to survive together. Isuggest from my own experience that you try to start each day praying together, before the stress of the day begins. Start each day committing to staying married, committing to working out issues, not arguing, not fighting, not fussing and not sweating the small stuff. It’s a very intimate moment and it will allow you to hear from the heart of the person you love.
As I said to some good friends yesterday, choose your battles wisely, don’t bicker about every little thing, things that you know deep down in your heart aren’t going to change much, if at all. Resolve to find a better way to deal with those things for peace sake, and above all remember that God looks over our faults, so let’s learn to be gracious and merciful towards one another as well.
1 Corinthians 3:14, love is patient, love is kind
Roman 12:18, if possible so much as it depends on you, live at peace with one another
While re-reading one of my favorite books, (The Shack), this phrase called out to be addressed ; “Trust is the fruit of a healthy relationship in which you recognize that you are loved. The Shack. William P. Young
I wanted to address jealousy in relationships, especially if you are the type of person who thinks a little jealousy is flattering. I suggest that you recognize it may also be a red flag for trouble to come in the future of your relationship.
The fact is that most relationships which lack trust are full of turmoil, therefor the relationship usually doesn’t survive. In contrast to a healthy relationship in which you believe that the two of you belong together and can weather any storm.
If jealousy is your struggle, I pray that you would Ask Godtoday to help you to put your insecurities aside and allow your trust, and love to shine bright, in order to over shadow your insecurities, in return this should strengthen your relationship.
James 3:16 (ESV) “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice”
There will come times in our life when The Lord will take us out of our comfort zone. You know, those things we do without giving it a moments thought or put any real effort into doing. In my experience, when God desires “a thing” in your life, you begin to notice that you seem to keep being put into a certain type of position or situation. That’s what has always happened to me and my husband.
When it starts to happen, you tend to want to inject your own feelings into the equations such as, I’m not qualified for this, I’m not comfortable with this or I need to be better equipped to do this. I know how uncomfortable it can be to talk to people who you don’t really know or who you may not really be comfortable talking to. This blog came to be because of the calling on my husband and my life together. I felt it was our responsibility to make ourselves comfortable, capable and equipped, to simply be a listening ear. God entrusted us to share what works in our marriage, and how us purposefully involving God in every situation was and is the key to working through any issue, as well as us being transparent about the issues that we’ve worked through and how we worked through them because there is no perfect relationship and there will never be but we sure can be happy together with Gods help.
Soooooo, it’s not about you or your ability to do anything! It’s all about God, who trusts you to have His heart, to show His love, to be what He has called you to do and to be for those who He sends into your life. “Love is patient, love is kind”
But the fruit of the Spirit (of God) is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
In the life of a Christian, God will use various people and resources to provide for us, but He is always the source, He simply uses the resource to help us. Philippians 4:19 “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus”.
Remembering this, is critical in remaining dependent on God, as we have the tendency to confuse the gift with the giver…. When this happens, our loyalty and trust tend to shift towards the person or where the help comes from, rather than God (our provider).
God is the source of everything we need, no matter how He provides it. It may come through our children, our spouses, our jobs and friends. Always remember, they are merely the tools He uses to meet the needs in our lives.
Keep me as the apple of your eye, hide me under the shadow of your wings, Palms 17:8
I have often shared my testimony of how I met my wonderful husband. I moved to SC from NY and I became friends with his sister. When I met him in the summer, he was wearing a wool cap and a sweat shirt with hay all over him, “country”. He was not the type of guy I dated, but oh! How I thank God that He allowed me to see past all that and see enough in him through that first encounter, so that I didn’t miss out on the blessing of a wonderful man and a life together with him because of my preconceived notion of what I thought I wanted in his outer appearance. How silly was I!
The lesson here is, be kind, be open and tolerant towards everyone enough to get to know more about a person than merely their outer appearance. Sometimes the outside doesn’t match what’s on the inside. Don’t judge a book by its cover.
The Lord gave me the another opportunity yesterday to share with some of my church family the testimony of how this blog came to be. It still is amazing to me, that I’m sharing my marital success and life experiences with so many on a daily basis, but it only happened when I ignored my own fear of putting myself out there (to accept criticisms and unwanted comments), but I began to trust God to give me what I needed daily in order to help others to get through relational issues in which I have experienced, and navigated through successfully. God is working a good work through our (my husband and my) God centered marriage (Philippians 1:6). I am grateful to be used by Him.
If you feel as if there is more for you, more you should be doing, there probably is! Ask God to lead and to guide you into what or where it is you are destined to do or be, then begin to move in that direction. “A man’s gift will make room for itself” (Proverbs 18:16).