Tag Archive | family

What!!!  Marriage is Trending

Well  “it’s about time”! It is one of the most important relationships you will ever have, and the best advice I can give is, Stop being selfish! If you know you are bad with money and even though they do things differently from you, they seem to have a better relationship with finances than you do, give up the power!! Hand over the responsibility of bill paying, spending, and saving, and be willing to take good advice from your “better half”, cause they got it going on in that department !!  

I know of what I speak because I did it, and things got so much better once I saw things my husbands way, (He’s gonna love this post!). We got so good at managing our finances that we are now debt free!! I’m not bragging, I’m just trying to help someone. I’m so glad I stopped being selfish and put into practice my husbands way of doing things because we still love each other and we are living the life God promised us!

If you recognize yourself in this post, don’t be so stubborn that you continue in the wrong direction just to spite your spouse. Be flexible and be honest concerning your weaknesses and flaws. Things can and most likely will change with your cooperation.

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God ​— ​who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly ​— ​and it will be given to him. —James 1:5

Can You Feel the Love ❤️

So much of the power to keep our relationships thriving is in our very own hands. It’s so important to keep talking, touching, kissing,  laughing, and sharing, and do it with your whole heart.  I write encouragement on my fridge weekly for my husband and myself.  That’s one of my ways to keep our relationship fresh.  Remember, we are going on  36 years of marriage!!

My most recent advice was, “Kiss me as if it were the last time!   There’s something wonderful that happens when my husband takes time to look at me and wrap his arms around me in a tender embrace, and really kiss me, not just a quick peck of the lips.   I feel the the love, and I don’t mind so much that he just left his clothes on the bathroom floor.
If you feel things are a little stale or a lot, you decide to do whatever it takes for you and your relationship to thrive.  It is that important!!

Your Vow is a real commitment

He can make things happen 

I sometimes find myself wondering if I’m on the right track spiritually.  Am I fulfilling my life purpose.  I know I love The Lord and I am trying to live my life according to His word, and then the Lord softly reassures me (through His word) that He is in control and He will orchestrate opportunity in my daily walk (work or leisure) to do His will in and through my life.  

This always seems to happen when I begin to question my purpose, so there’s no need to try and force anything, simply study Gods word, stay prayerful, and be kind.  The Lord gives us opportunity to share the love of Jesus, just listen for that urgent tug at your heart or a thought that won’t let you rest, then move or speak with love, and share your faith.

Give us this day all that we need and forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.  Matthew 6

We are different, but We are still family

 I have always wondered how kids with the same parents can be so different.  Although I love my siblings, we are not extremely close.  My oldest sister who has always identified as “The black sheep” of the family went so far as to move to the midsection of the country all on her own years ago but even as teenagers I never allowed her to get too far from me.  I’m that one who makes sure to always keep in touch.

Well that same sister recently had a heart attack and has since passed away.  I’m okay because I know I did my part in keeping a relationship with her.  I always told her that I loved her, and I made sure we talked pretty regularly, as a matter of fact the day before she went to the hospital we spoke and she was so excited about finally learning how to text on her new phone.  I laughed because she really had not gotten the hang of it (so cute).

I said all that to say,  no matter what the circumstance, family is just that “family”.  Don’t allow arguments, differences or misunderstandings to keep you from communicating.  Don’t wait until it’s too late to say “I love you”, “I’m sorry or “I was wrong, forgive me”.  Don’t wait to show your loved ones you care, even if the issue hasn’t been totally resolved.

 If you love them, tell them while you can, because living with the guilt of being too stubborn to talk or even to tolerate them because of your differences may be more than you can bare if they are suddenly taken from you forever.

Luke 17:3-4 So if your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke (tell) them and if they repent, forgive them.  Even if they sin (offend) against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying, “I’m sorry”, you must forgive them

Matthew 6:14-15. For if you forgive others when they sin against you (offend ), your Heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive others their sin, your Heavenly Father will not forgive you sin (offenses) against Him!

 You Vowed to Love, Honor, and Obey (Cherish) 🤔

Then why do you think it’s so hard sometimes to be patient, to smile or to even speak kind words to the person who you stood before God and in the presence of witnesses, and pledged (vowed) to love,  honor,  and cherish, “till death us do part”.

Maybe this is you, and maybe you’ve attempted to change in the past but sadly find yourself always falling back into your old ways of anger,  hostility, intolerance, or even impoliteness.   Paul (the writer of  Romans) says,  “When I would do good,  evil is always present”.   This scripture is proof that we need God to help us with our behavior as well as lifes challenges which we are not capable of overcoming of our own strength. I have a solution!!    Why not Ask God!!. He made you,   He knows your every weakness, strength and  your hearts desire to be a better you.  Think about it, we tend to pray about everything else that seems to be of importantance to us, why not our relationship problems, our bad habits, and especially childhood issues which we haven’t yet resolved.  If not resolve, overcome, or controlled, they will truly reak havoc on a relationship in adulthood.

Now please understand,  a change can never take place if you don’t recognize that you are guilty of any of these behaviors. My prayer for you, is that you are first honest enough to recognize the truth about yourself, and from this day forward you would at least treat one another with the common courtesy and the respect you may show to your coworkers, and even complete strangers!   We all have do it!   I’ve been guilty of the same behavior myself, but thank God for allowing me to see my own flaws and then I correct myself.

Don’t put it off,  start by pledging not to leave your home another day, and allow yourself to treat coworkers, associates or even perfect strangers better than the person you vowed to love, honor and cherish!   Practice better behavior, speaking kindly, softly, and lovingly.  

Our mission above all in marriage should be, to love each other as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it.  

1.  Love flows through a marriage which lives up to mutual responsibility and respect. Love is not self seeking, it’s not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong doings. (1 Corinthians 13:5)

2.  Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:31-32)

3.  “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13)

Oh, Grow Up!

Marriage requires a certain level of maturity as well as self control.  It has not always been present in my marriage but it is what has kept us together for all these years.  Once we learned to choose our battles and “me” not wear my feelings on my shirt sleeve, things got much easier .  Now don’t get me wrong, it’s a process which takes some of us longer than others and you may never really master it but, if  and when you get the basic premise of love and unselfish behavior, life changes dramatically.  

Recently, while on our way to midweek bible study, a local gospel personality said, “Pride makes excuses but maturity makes adjustments”.  Oh my goodness!  How many times have you made an excuse to behave badly towards oneanother.   Maturity keeps you working at doing what is right, not responding in anger, and not ententionally being hurtful. 

 During  the bible study our minister addressed why we try to change and fail, time and time again.   “We can not sustain change without Gods strength to help us, and most importantly, we must check our motives.  Is it for me or is it for someone else, so ask yourself, “Did I ask God to help me to change for me?  “Do I really even want to change”? Once you identify your reason, go to your Heavenly Father and ask Him to help you with this process, ask Him to help you to love oneanother just as He loves you, unconditionally.    Now all you have to do is start behaving in love as you continue to pray for His strength to sustain that change.  You may fail a few times before you get it, but practice makes perfect.   You will know when you have matured beyond your own ability because you start to give more of yourself than you may be receiving.   Without much effort,  you walk away from confrontations instead of speaking in anger, and things that angered you in the past may even become comical  because, with Gods help, you now see how childish some reactions really are. .

“Love (charity) starts at home and then spreads abroad” Sir Thomas Browne.