Tag Archive | family

Lesson Learned

This is a recent post from my daughters Facebook post. It’s a long read but well worth the time if you struggle with hearing from God

Warning Signs…

Have you ever seen warning signs about something you really want? You are praying about it and supposedly waiting to hear from God, when you are really hearing from God through the warning signs, but you ain’t trying to hear that, so you keep praying until you hear what you want to hear? Yep, that just happened to me. Let’s just say I should have listened.

I have been wanting to go back to teaching for awhile now. I just want to get my standard certificate and complete that goal that has haunting me since I didn’t choose to complete the teaching program in undergrad. For some reason, every time I have tried it does not work. Moving to TX was another opportunity, so I jumped on it. I enrolled in a certification program, did the coursework and then applied for jobs. Had a few interviews while I was “praying about it”. All of them went well, but nobody called back immediately. 🤔Some friends were asking me why I wanted to go back to work. My only reasons were to put a check mark in the box for “I finally got my standard teaching certification”, and having my “more” money to shop with. Not to change lives, not because teaching is my passion, not because we needed extra income. None of that! So my reason was wrong in the first place. I just wanted to feel like I was doing something, and I wanted more money to play with.

Long story short, a school called (over a month after the interview) and offered me a job. I said hmmm this must be God opening up the door I had already felt He closed and confirmed through several people. But I accepted and soon there after I knew it was wrong. How many of you know that we can cause unessecary pain, stress, you name it, because of disobedience and following our own self-centered ambitions? 🤦🏾‍♀️ I told Jarvis I felt like I was getting a whopping!

Just because something works out, does not always mean it’s God. Well things started falling apart. I was stressed, overwhelmed, mean, and irritable at home. Then everyone we hired to keep the girls before school so that I could work changed their mind or couldn’t do it. Jarvis works a crazy schedule so he and I were not seeing much of each other. He was stretched and stressed working 12hr days 6 days a week, then all of a sudden trying to do the things that I have always done.

I had to take a step back a realize what I was doing to my family because I wanted more. God showed me why the answer has been no, but I had to “touch that hot pot to know it burned”. I had to own up to my mistake, swallow my pride, and walk away from the program and job.

My family is my full-time job, my first priority, and when I try to convince myself that there should be more for me, I am reminded that God has always kept us and given us more than what we need. ” When you are grateful for what you have, what you have becomes enough.” God provides. Do I want to work? Yes, but I want it to work for my family. I want God to direct me (and I listen) in what I do and it not just to be about money. Until that opportunity comes, I will be a happy at home serving my family.

Lesson learned. I hope it helps someone.

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The Good Old Days

It seems as though time is slipping away right before our very eyes. Are you making the most of your time? I believe we try to make time for who and what is important to us or so we think, but can you truly be present (in the moment) with yourcell phone, your iPad or tablet in your face, mindlessly scrolling the internet, through Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest or looking at sports videos and YouTube, Nope!

I remember a simpler time, back when my husband and I had so much contempt for the devices we are now literally “joined at the hip” with. We even talked back then about how “those darn mobile phones” would be the demise of society. The young people were using them in order not to have real interaction, they were a way out of having to deal with people. Now adults are doing the same thing!

We actually peaked into the future, didn’t we!

If this is going to change, we must now be intentional with putting our devices down, making eye contact, saying “Hi”. Your conversation could be the only real and hopefully (positive) interaction a person has today.

Here’s the thing, If you are older, you remember what life was like without a mobile phone, tablets, and all this technology. The world was a much friendlier place, people talked, there was very little internet activity at home (it was at work only) to rob us of hours of our precious time on earth.

Don’t fret! We can get it back! Good old fashioned communication is not totally lost. We just have to be intentional in doing it! Say “Hi” to a stranger, have a conversation in the doctors office, on the elevator, in line waiting for coffee or try this, pick up your phone and call someone instead of texting them!

Let’s go back to the “old time” ways

Colossians 4:5

Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time.

Child like faith

This morning I woke up with a scripture on my mind, I repeated it in my mind over and over then reached for my bible to read the memory verse of day, it was the same scripture of the day (John 10:10)

I know that God wants only the best for us (life more abundantly) but we don’t seem to really get that, we really may not quite understand how He is God, the Creator of everything or even how deeply He cares for us!

That brings me to such a sweet memory of our granddaughter Grace. Grace was such a surprise to us, all because my daughter had no plans to have another child. In spite of all that, her pregnancy with Grace was better than her first. That may be why it took her some time to come to grips with the fact that she was truly pregnant again, even though her belly was steadily growing! It took us all some time to get used to the idea we would have to love another little person as much as we loved our first, but of course we did.

The funny thing is that Grace was born seemingly unhappy! She cried and cried (no colic) just unhappy. My daughter ended up going back to the hospital due to complications after giving birth. I was left to take care of the two little ones alone because my son in law stayed with my daughter in the hospital. I usually have no problem calming babies but not that little new born. Grace seemed angry and inconsolable and she stayed that way for months. My husband was the only one that seemed to be able to calm her with his monotone humming, lol!

We found out later what some of her problem was, she couldn’t hear well! but once that was taken care of she was better not great but I will never forget it, when Grace was around the age of 3, I got a call from my daughter that Grace was crying uncontrollably, when asked why so sad Grace, her explanation to my daughter was mind boggling;

In Graces baby voice;

I “weally” miss God! I want to go back to heaven to be with Him. He is so nice and He played with me. I don’t want to stay, I just want to visit Him. (Mind blown)!!!

Although my faith is strong, in that moment it was strengthened even more. That baby seemed to remember and long for Heaven and God. She still says and does things that remind us of that experience. She closes her eyes and sings with her whole heart and just recently started praise dance at their church. My daughter sent me a video of the dance, When i asked Grace and her sister Hannah if they were nervous, Hannah said “I was” but Grace’s response was “I just dance for Jesus, Hannah! just act like He’s right there”!! Just dance for God. Child like faith!!

God is right there! He is love and He wants us to love Him with child like faith, to be obedient to His word, to trust Him and know that He wants nothing but the best for us! He wants to give us life more abundantly.

Matthew 18:2-4

And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

No Do Overs

As always when I talk to my best friend something comes out of our conversation which helps us both. We always seem to lift one another up that way. This time it was our roles as “Help meets” to our husbands and children and how we sometimes resist that calling because we are just tired. We either do too much for our families (spoil them) or we take on too much outside our households which causes imbalance.

In most cases God did not call us to those “other things” but He did call us to be wives, mothers, and nurturers. It’s not always easy, and yes we do allow life to overwhelm us with things which do not matter as much as our families.

I recently heard a report which said that most young mothers are so overwhelmed with motherhood, they have turned to drinking and taking drugs as a way to cope!

I attribute that to trying to have “It All”, careers social lives as well as the pressure that is “Social media perfect”. We all should know from our own experiences (at times) how long it takes to get that perfect shot, the smile just right, the backdrop just so. We also know that picture portrays a perfectly loving, happy marriage and family, when we know darn well we only smiled for the picture to be taken and went right back to not speaking or yelling at the kids!

You can not be perfect, “No not one” Take the pressure off yourself. Enjoy those babies, and enjoy this time in your life. It’s the only time you have. There are no “Do-overs” so make the best your “Right now”.

When life gets hard remember that you have a “Helper” The Holy Spirit living within you to help you and to strengthen you. Psalms 55:22

Fresh or Stale

It is said that some things get better with age (a good wine, a well aged steak etc), but I add, they only get better with proper care, and maintenance. I’m 57 now but even as a young wife, the one thing I vowed would never be okay in my marriage was for us to lose our passion (not love) for one another, and I work very hard at making sure we stay connected. My husband has his way as well, he has always been active in making sure I’m happy and laughing. He is a “Joker”.

It really helps that I had great examples of a healthy relationship, with love, and respect from my parents., Yes! your children are watching and learning how to love and relate from your example.

Example;

I love to dance but my husband doesn’t like to so much (in public), so sometimes when he’s feeling it, he puts on a slow song and reaches for me, and I melt right into his arms. Yesssssss! 😍

I challenge you, think about how you used to get your spouses attention romantically. Why not start doing that (Yes! That!) again. A relationship grows old, stale, and stagnant when proper care is not taken to maintain, and to keep it fresh and vibrant.

Watch out now!

Love, expectance, and tolerance, whether it be learned behavior, practiced or genetic, the struggle is real! It’s not always easy to be good, do good and to walk in line with Gods word!

We are directed to try with all our hearts to love and be at peace with one another! and that includes our spouses. He (the Lord) requires of us to love unconditionally, not “If they do, then I will”. If we say we love God, then we must love one another, PERIOD!!

Proverbs 6:16-19

There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him:

1. haughty eyes (thinks highly of ones self over others)

2. a lying tongue (not completely honest)

3. hands that shed innocent blood (murderer)

4. a heart that devises wicked plans (setting snares/planning wrong)

5. feet that make haste to run to evil (messy/ lovers of confusion)

6. a false witness who breathes out lies (under oath) who sow discord among family