Tag Archive | communicate

Marriage is Honorable 

While on a road trip recently ,  my husband was listening to one of his favorite old school CDs when a song (Put it on paper) came on.  It reminded me of something our minister said in his sermon that Sunday .  He talked about how he counseled a couple who were having problems first of all because the man in the relationship didn’t want to get married.  His statement to the minister was, “Why do I need a piece of paper to say I’m committed to a person”.  The minister responded so wisely in my opinion with this statement; He said,  Do you drive, you must have a drivers license.  Do you have a weapon, then you must have a permit to carry it.  Do you fish, then you have to have a fishing license, So if you are willing to obtain a license for all those things, why not love her enough to do the legal and spiritually correct thing and marry her if you are truly committed to her and the relationship???
And just this morning I heard on the morning show why Opra Winfrey said she couldn’t marry long time partner excuses, excuses, excuses!   Bottom line is, don’t allow anyone to devalue you with their selfish excuses or childhood issues and personal hang ups.  If they aren’t willing to do the right thing by you,  they might not be the right person for you.

Hebrews 13:4. Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

It’s a marriage not a competition 

When People of faith get married, the Bible says “we become one body” in the site of God.  Being “One” means, We win together or We lose together!  Nothing is just about us as individuals any longer.  

Let’s learn to work together, save together, cook together,  clean the house together, conversate together, live, love and laugh together, and even cry together.  That’s what growing together is!  It’s not how much more or less than you, “I can do”.  Do unto others as we would have them do unto us” Luke 6:31.  We don’t hold back or hold out on ourselves, do we! We do the best we can for us, so if we are truly “One”, act like it.  Selfishness begets selfishness.

Mark 12:31,  “Love your neighbor (that includes your spouse) as yourself.   For there is no greater commandment”.

For Peace Sake

I watched a dance show the other night and a couple who were contestants shared candidly about how they had trouble in their relationship, and how it was at that point they had to make a decision whether they were going to work out their relationship or allow their marriage to fail.  They chose to make a conscious effort to stay married each and every day through any bad feelings or misunderstandings in order to work out their differences and make their marriage work.

Sometimes things get so hard in our relationships that we must take extreme measures if we are going to survive together.   I suggest from my own experience that you try to start each day praying together, before the stress of the day begins.  Start each day committing to staying married, committing to working out issues, not arguing, not fighting, not fussing and not sweating the small stuff.  It’s a very intimate moment and it will allow you to hear from the heart of the person you love.

As I said to some good friends yesterday, choose your battles wisely, don’t bicker about every little thing, things that you know deep down in your heart aren’t going to change much, if at all.  Resolve to find a better way to deal with those things for peace sake, and above all remember that God looks over our faults, so let’s learn to be gracious and merciful towards one another as well.

1 Corinthians 3:14, love is patient, love is kind

Roman 12:18, if possible so much as it depends on you, live at peace with one another 

Go Get Your Sexy Back

I am using an snippet from a fellow blogger (Loftspeaker1) who’s definitely got it right in my humble opinion when it comes to wives (or husbands) who long for more affection, that “New love” type of affection in their marriage again

If there’s still a longing for romance bottle up inside you (because it’s almost nonexistent) , let that energy flow from inside you.  Instead of wondering “Where is the love”, let it pour out of you back into your marriage again. SHOW your spouse what you need just like you used to. Let the romance you show them be the model of what you’d like shown back to you.  Plan a romantic getaway, write them some love notes (be graphic), make candlelit dinners just for them. Let it be an ongoing building up of romance, excitement and  expectation of what your plans are for them.  They’ll be wondering what you’re going to do next and will hopefully use your acts/ ideas as a model for when they try to do a little something romantic for you next time.


Hebrews 13:4-6 “Marriage is honorable in all, and the marriage bed undefiled”   

So, go get your sexy, spicey hot relationship back, there’s nothing holding you back but you, and remember this,  “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again”.   Do Not give up if it fails the first time.

Get Over It

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This is such a cute illustration of what happens in even the best relationships sometimes.

Have you ever said, “I love you but I don’t like you very much right now”? It’s nothing strange to be in love and not like one another, just don’t allow anger or misunderstandings to linger.   Anger and misunderstandings left unchecked only allow room for destruction in a relationship.  

 So get over yourself, I know how you may feel but, for the sake of your relationship, your family and your future together, don’t sweat the small stuff.  It’s just not worth it.  Get over it!
Heres something that has helped me down through the years,  If there is a problem  between me and my husband which We can’t seem to resolve, I pray and ask God for a time when my husband will be receptive and will understand my issue with him, and without fail God works in us both in a way in which  we are not able to do on our own.   God is amazing, and He is always there waiting for us to allow Him to be Lord over our lives.

Hebrews 12:15
“See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows to cause trouble and defile many”

Life is about stages

I know I’ve said this before,  but it bears repeating;  No one stays the same in life, especially in marriage and relationships.    Marriage, children, sickness, and even the stress of work changes us.  Life simply changes us, It can’t be helped,  it just happens.  “We live our lives in phases”.  I heard that on tv this morning and it made so much sence.

In order to make sure these changes or phases don’t derail or destroy your relationship,   you must always be mindful of one another.  Check in emotionally as well as physically with one another regularly,  don’t ever assume everything is fine, after all, we are pros at deception, or hiding out feelings.  So be purposeful about  spending quality time together,  building one another up during tough times.  Share your feelings (good, bad, and indifferent) your daily experiences, your faults and your failures but!! ! Be careful not to use one another as your own personal “dumping ground”.

I had to express this very thing to my husband recently. I was so tired of him coming home everyday complaining about the same thing, did I mention it was everyday for weeks ?   His response to me was,  ” If I can’t talk to you,  then who can I talk to”?. The”talking” wasn’t  the problem, it was the content of the conversation, (I love hearing about his day normally), but no one wants to hear anyone complain about the same thing all the time!. The thing is, he probably didn’t even realize he was doing it until I  brought it to his attention.   He does now!. 

The key to correction for anyone is doing it with love, kindness and respect.  

The pay off can be great!

What does your character say about you?

We all desire friendships and social lives, but remember, as a Christian your reputation needs to remain one that people see as trustworthy, loving, kind, peaceful….. Some would befriend you for reasons other than friendship. The bible tells us in 1 John 4:1, Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God”.

Proverbs 22:1 says, “A good name should be more desirable than silver or gold”. We must be careful of who or what we allow to influence our lives physically, emotionally and especially, spiritually. Guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus, through a relationship with Him, regularly reading His word and prayer. Isaiah 54:14, “No weapon formed against you will be able to prosper”.

1 Corinthians 15:33 says, “Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

Proverbs 13:20 says, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm”.

Proverbs 22:24-25 says, “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare”.

The bible has much more to say on this subject, so it MUST be important!