Tag Archive | support

A Mothers Love Never Dies

A week ago today, I celebrated my 57th birthday.  My husband took off work to spend the day with me, which was a complete surprise since he never really takes off work!  We were just hanging out talking, riding along , enjoying conversation when in a moment when nothing was really on my mind, my moms face flashed before me, and a warmth came over me that I haven’t felt since the last hug she gave me, I  felt her and I heard her say “Happy birthday baby, I love you”.  My eyes welled up with tears and my heart, although it was happy to be with my “Boo” (husband), was overwhelmed with the love and the memory of my dear sweet mother and her the adoration I always felt from her.  You must understand that she’s been dead for 10 years, and I’ve longed to feel her, to know that she was okay, and I knew in that moment!   Just before that encounter I asked the Lord to let the rain which had clouded my heart stop because It was my special day (Everyone who knows me well knows that I am lover of the sun!)  Then the sweetest thing happened again, the sun shined on me, it literally came out, and I was so thankful again to know Gods love and to feel that “He is particularly fond of me” (The Shack movies). ☺️

I’ve learned in life that we will deal with loss, pain, and deep sadness, but no matter the pain or struggle, it makes it all the more bearable when we have hope, and joy in knowing there is someone who watches over us, who orders our steps simply because we love Him enough to be faithful, and to honor His sons sacrifice with our lives by living in obedience to His word.

I’m so sure that my experience with my mom on the celebration of my birthday was a gift that I had to share it with you in hopes of encouraging someone who’s feeling down because your mom is no longer with you.  I pray that you celebrate her this Mother’s Day with joyful memories, be happy for the time you were blessed to have her in your life.  God bless you

I felt her love and it was the best gift ever!!   

Psalm 147:3. He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Psalm 103:13. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.

The LORD is your keeper

 I married my husband believing he was well capable of taking care of me, a God fearing man who I knew I could depend on in every way, and although I have all this love and trust for him, I am very aware that he is not Lord of my life.   His views are his and I do not always see things his way.   I realize his place in my life, and it’s not the same as The Lord God’s place in my life.   Be very careful when you place a human being and/or their views before your Heavenly Father and what He commands of His children.   God is a jealous God, no one and nothing is to come before Him.  Exodus 4034:14,  Deuteronomy 6:15

No other relationship is going to work when it comes to our emotional and spiritual healing.  Why?  Because God did not create us to go through life on our own (depending on one another solely).  He made us for His Glory.  He created us to be in fellowship with Him first and foremost.  Certainly He wants us to have good relationships with our spouses and all our other relationships, but the number one relationship for each of us as Christians is an intimate relationship with God our heavenly father and Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. 
If we are faithful in nurturing our relationship with Him,  God blesses us in every other area of our lives, He helps us through those rough patches we sometimes find ourselves in.  It might not always work out the way we want or think it should workout but we must remember, ” All things work together for your good,  for those who are the called according Gods purpose”.  “All things”, means everything, good, bad and indifferent.  
Psalms 121:5-8. The Lord is your keeper, the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.  The Lord will keep you from all harm, he will watch over your coming and your going both now and forever.

Don’t get tired

It’s so important to always do the right thing for the right reason.  Do good (the right thing) because you truly care, and because Gods Holy Scripture says, we are to care for one another (Romans 12:8).  Don’t do anything to be seen or to be praised by others, instead do it because Jesus did it for you when He gave His all during His lifetime on earth and ultimately in His death on the cross.

Don’t permit yourself to be upset or feel that you’ve been wronged by someone who seems ungrateful,  or totally unconcerned with you now that their crisis is over.  Be thankful for the time and the friendship you had, for what you learned from them positive or negative, and especially for what you were able to do to assist them in their time of need.   That’s God’s love being exhibited through you.  Don’t worry about anything else because your God who sees what you do in secret will reward you openly.

Galatians 6:9 “Let us not grow weary in well doing, for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not”.  That’s the promise we get from God.

The Right One

When my husband sometimes pats himself on the back for marrying me and making my life so wonderful, I laugh and remind him of how “I would have made any man want to be a better man because I would have encouraged any man to work hard, to achieve great things, and to of course to make me happy”.

Well, I was watching my favorite morning show the other day when the story of a woman and a homeless man was featured, It reminded me of my saying.  The story was told of how this homeless man asked this woman for money and she began to cry.  She told him she didn’t have enough money for what she urgently needed in her life at the moment.  This mans heart went out to her, he gave her all the money he had collected that day.  Now this was a person who she passed regularly who was always asking others for a hand out instead of working to help himself.  

They became friends and kept in touch after that.  Because of their encounter that man went and found a job, and started working regularly, something he was not motivated to do before that chance meeting.  They changed each others lives during a time of need for them both.  Well, they were married recently and because of their story, their community came together and gave them a wedding with all the trimmings.  
The moral of this story is that there is someone for everyone, keep your heart open for love.
The right person can and will change your life for the better.  The right person could be someone who may look totally different than what you think you want, someone who has never really had a reason to be responsible but now will change because they found a purpose in you, a reason to be productive, a reason to do what they would not do for themselves for love, for you.

Gods plan doesn’t always line up with our shallow hearts, or our lists, so don’t be so stuck on what you think you want a person to look like, what they must have achieved or how much money they should make.  You may find more happiness with less stuff once you find the right person to share life with. 

Love is patient, love is kind, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not selfish, is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs…  1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Life is about stages

I know I’ve said this before,  but it bears repeating;  No one stays the same in life, especially in marriage and relationships.    Marriage, children, sickness, and even the stress of work changes us.  Life simply changes us, It can’t be helped,  it just happens.  “We live our lives in phases”.  I heard that on tv this morning and it made so much sence.

In order to make sure these changes or phases don’t derail or destroy your relationship,   you must always be mindful of one another.  Check in emotionally as well as physically with one another regularly,  don’t ever assume everything is fine, after all, we are pros at deception, or hiding out feelings.  So be purposeful about  spending quality time together,  building one another up during tough times.  Share your feelings (good, bad, and indifferent) your daily experiences, your faults and your failures but!! ! Be careful not to use one another as your own personal “dumping ground”.

I had to express this very thing to my husband recently. I was so tired of him coming home everyday complaining about the same thing, did I mention it was everyday for weeks ?   His response to me was,  ” If I can’t talk to you,  then who can I talk to”?. The”talking” wasn’t  the problem, it was the content of the conversation, (I love hearing about his day normally), but no one wants to hear anyone complain about the same thing all the time!. The thing is, he probably didn’t even realize he was doing it until I  brought it to his attention.   He does now!. 

The key to correction for anyone is doing it with love, kindness and respect.  

The pay off can be great!

Focus On You

My pastor has a saying, “Stay in your lane” referring to spiritual gifts.  We will always run into problems when we desire someone else possession, (spiritual, physical or emotional).

Many marriages would probably not be in turmoil if husbands and wives would operate in the capacity in which God created us.  

My husband and  I were recently  discussing how  people who are married (male and female), especially females who are so unhappy in their marriages are so because they long for their husband to love them as deeply as they love, to be as considerate as they are and so on. … Well, we both agreed that it’s just not possible for men to love the same as women simply because of how God made woman (Eve was created from Adam to be a companion).   God made women to be nurturing, loving to her husband and mother to her children, tender hearted, and gentle.   He made man to be the caretaker of the land, the provider for the woman, the strength, the protector, The man!.

Ladies do not expect your man to be as affectionate as you.  It’s just not how they are wired.  Yes! You can find a man on occasion who is nurturing, caring and hands on, although rare, but it’s probably because of a  lack of those things in his childhood, something which has forced him to try harder to be more loving, caring and affectionate.

Just do your part, that which comes naturally to you as male and female and  pray for God to give you that which you are lacking.  Ask Him for that which you need in order to be happier in your relationship.  Most of all,  talk to one another about what your needs are.   None of us are mind readers, therefore communication is key to any healthy and happy existence together.

Genesis 2:18-24
1 Corithians 11:10

   

Helpmate or Hindrance?

It is said that “Behind every successful man, stands a strong woman”. If you support and gently encourage your husband, he can sometimes accomplish more in life than he would have without your encouragement. I am proud to say that I helped my husband in his studies, I encouraged him in his military career and when he came home everyday, I made sure that it was to a welcoming place. I knew that was something that made him happy (love language)and, Yes, I made sure the house was always clean, I cooked and I still do, just not as much since it’s just the two of us now. I talked with him about his day, allowing him to unwind and to cleanse himself of anything that might have been an issue.

They need to know that you will listen. Yes, even though you might not get that same attention in return, be that woman the bible calls a “helpmeet” (mate). God put Adam to sleep in order to take one of his ribs to form Eve (his wife). She was made from him, therefore she was a part of him, his partner in everything, even the crime against God in the Garden of Eden. Yes, we know we can persuade them, if they love us, so use that power wisely.

We have an opportunity to help our men accomplish much more in life than they would without us and our support, only do it with love, with that soft and gentle strength that we all possess and with the knowledge that whatever he accomplishes is for you both and your family.

Ephesians 5:22-23

22 Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. 23 The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. 24 So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands. 25 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church – a love marked by giving, not getting. 26 Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, 27 dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. 28 And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor – since they’re already “one” in marriage. 29 No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, 30 since we are part of his body. 31 And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” 32 This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. 33 And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.