Tag Archive | life

Happy Wife, Happy Life?

If you were to ask my husband about how his marriage works so well, he would tell you that he keeps me happy. It’s true! and in return I do what it takes to keep him happy.

There are many components to having a good relationship, one is a continuous cycle of give and take, and it shouldn’t be conditional (I’ll do for you, if you do for me) nor should it be based on whether you are getting all you want out of the relationship all of the time. Love is supposed to be unconditional. “Love one another as I have loved you”

Everyone has a “Love language” I read a book titled, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, is a 1995 book by Gary Chapman. I learned that my husbands love language was “Acts of Service”. No, i’m not his servant but, I do know that nothing makes him happier than a good meal or me pampering him, so I cook for him and I pamper him (it gets old sometimes) but he deserves all I do for him and more because he is operating as the husband God called him to be. He is my protector, my provider, my spiritual covering, and my friend.

Maybe you’ve gotten so comfortable or complacent in your relationship that it doesn’t seem so important to do those special little things anymore. Well, I’m here to tell you, It still Is! It takes even more effort the longer you’re together in order for your relationship to stay alive and thriving.

Everyone loves to be appreciated, whether it’s spoken or physically shown, so reciprocate, give back, counter, return, however you say it. The Bible puts it like this; “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Luke 6:31). Don’t look at it as a chore, see it as an investment in your happiness and your future.

Ladies and gentleman, if you have a wonderful spouse or mate, make sure they know how you feel. Show them, and tell them because love is truly an action word.

Husbands, 1 Peter 3:7 is a powerful scripture concerning your wife, and your prayers. It talks about how important a peaceful existence with your wife is. Take a look and see.

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Did I ask God to change me for me?

Marriage requires a certain level of maturity as well as self control.  It has not always been present in my marriage but it is what has kept us together for all these years.  Once we both learned to choose our battles and not wear our feelings on our shirt sleeve, things got much easier .  Now don’t get me wrong, it is a real process which takes some of us longer than others and to be honest, we may never really master it but if we get the basic premise of love and unselfish behavior mastered, life tends to change dramatically.

Recently one of my favorite local gospel personalities said, “Pride makes excuses but maturity makes adjustments”.  Oh my goodness!  How many times have you made an excuse for behaving badly towards one another?  Well, maturity keeps you working at doing what is right, and less likely from responding in anger, and definitely not intentionally being hurtful.  Here’s the thing, we can not sustain change without Gods strength to help us, no matter how bad we really want to it’s hard and we must always check our motives for the change.  Ask yourself, “Did I ask God to help me to change for me?  “Do I really even want to change” and once you identify your reason for change then go to your Heavenly Father and ask Him to help you with this process, ask Him to help you to love one another just as He loves you, unconditionally.    Now all you have to do is start behaving in love as you continue to pray for Gods strength to sustain that change in you.

You may fail a few times before you get it, but “Practice makes perfect.   You will know when you have matured beyond your own ability because you will start to give more of yourself than you may be receiving.   Without much effort,  you walk away from confrontations instead of speaking in anger, and most things that angered you in the past may even become comical.  because Gods help, you now see how childish some reactions really are.

“Love (charity) starts at home and then spreads abroad” Sir Thomas Browne.

 Trying Times

When God allows a “Storm” in your life, it has a purpose and He is going to be with you through it!

One of my favorite Gospel radio personalities KD Bowe Praise 102.5 Atlanta said recently, “It matters not so much what we go through but it is more about how we go through hard times that can either draw us closer to God or cause us to fall away from Him“.  Hardships are a part of life but just as a young man I heard interviewed after the Houston flood understood that if God brought him and his family to this point in his life (The loss of everything he possessed) he believed that God would bless him to get through it. He didn’t sound bitter at all, as a matter of fact, when asked by the reporter what he was going to do, his response was “I don’t know but I’m thankful, then he said “God is good”.  He was thankful and he recognized that he and his family were safe and were going to be fine, and I believe they will because he stood for the kingdom of God proudly and boldly in the face of what may have been his darkest moment as a young man, a husband and a father.    His heart was pure in his in the midst of total devastation, and his trust was in God.  

Gods word says “Man born of a woman is of a few days and full of trouble” Job 14:1, and as hard as it seems during those trying times, they are meant to strengthen our faith in God because we are trusting Him to help us through it, James 1:3.  

So, yes it matters more how we go through tough times than it does what we go through.

Help us pray for healing again

Over a year or so ago, I asked you to help us pray for healing from cancer for my friend Elise. God did just that, He healed her to the point that cancer was almost non existent in her body. Well the cancer has come back and has spread to other parts of Elise’s body. We believe that her healing will be on this side of life, so I ask all of you to stand with us in prayer for Elise and her healing. Please pray as specific as she has requested below, and we will give God praise for “He is still healing”. Please pray for a miracle in the life of this young woman and her family. Elise has 5 year old twins and a wonderful husband. She is a twin herself and has a fully devoted family as well as friends standing united in prayer and faith along side her. Please stand with us in believing for her healing on this side of life, in the name of Jesus Christ our Savior and Lord.


What!!!  Marriage is Trending

Well  “it’s about time”! It is one of the most important relationships you will ever have, and the best advice I can give is, Stop being selfish! If you know you are bad with money and even though they do things differently from you, they seem to have a better relationship with finances than you do, give up the power!! Hand over the responsibility of bill paying, spending, and saving, and be willing to take good advice from your “better half”, cause they got it going on in that department !!  

I know of what I speak because I did it, and things got so much better once I saw things my husbands way, (He’s gonna love this post!). We got so good at managing our finances that we are now debt free!! I’m not bragging, I’m just trying to help someone. I’m so glad I stopped being selfish and put into practice my husbands way of doing things because we still love each other and we are living the life God promised us!

If you recognize yourself in this post, don’t be so stubborn that you continue in the wrong direction just to spite your spouse. Be flexible and be honest concerning your weaknesses and flaws. Things can and most likely will change with your cooperation.

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God ​— ​who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly ​— ​and it will be given to him. —James 1:5

Can You Feel the Love ❤️

So much of the power to keep our relationships thriving is in our very own hands. It’s so important to keep talking, touching, kissing,  laughing, and sharing, and do it with your whole heart.  I write encouragement on my fridge weekly for my husband and myself.  That’s one of my ways to keep our relationship fresh.  Remember, we are going on  36 years of marriage!!

My most recent advice was, “Kiss me as if it were the last time!   There’s something wonderful that happens when my husband takes time to look at me and wrap his arms around me in a tender embrace, and really kiss me, not just a quick peck of the lips.   I feel the the love, and I don’t mind so much that he just left his clothes on the bathroom floor.
If you feel things are a little stale or a lot, you decide to do whatever it takes for you and your relationship to thrive.  It is that important!!