Marriage requires a certain level of maturity as well as self control. It has not always been present in my marriage but it is what has kept us together for all these years. Once we both learned to choose our battles and not wear our feelings on our shirt sleeve, things got much easier . Now don’t get me wrong, it is a real process which takes some of us longer than others and to be honest, we may never really master it but if we get the basic premise of love and unselfish behavior mastered, life tends to change dramatically.
Recently one of my favorite local gospel personalities said, “Pride makes excuses but maturity makes adjustments”. Oh my goodness! How many times have you made an excuse for behaving badly towards one another? Well, maturity keeps you working at doing what is right, and less likely from responding in anger, and definitely not intentionally being hurtful. Here’s the thing, we can not sustain change without Gods strength to help us, no matter how bad we really want to it’s hard and we must always check our motives for the change. Ask yourself, “Did I ask God to help me to change for me? “Do I really even want to change” and once you identify your reason for change then go to your Heavenly Father and ask Him to help you with this process, ask Him to help you to love one another just as He loves you, unconditionally. Now all you have to do is start behaving in love as you continue to pray for Gods strength to sustain that change in you.
You may fail a few times before you get it, but “Practice makes perfect“. You will know when you have matured beyond your own ability because you will start to give more of yourself than you may be receiving. Without much effort, you walk away from confrontations instead of speaking in anger, and most things that angered you in the past may even become comical. because Gods help, you now see how childish some reactions really are.
“Love (charity) starts at home and then spreads abroad” Sir Thomas Browne.
When God allows a “Storm” in your life, it has a purpose and He is going to be with you through it!
One of my favorite Gospel radio personalities KD Bowe Praise 102.5 Atlanta said recently, “It matters not so much what we go through but it is more about how we go through hard times that can either draw us closer to God or cause us to fall away from Him“. Hardships are a part of life but just as a young man I heard interviewed after the Houston flood understood that if God brought him and his family to this point in his life (The loss of everything he possessed) he believed that God would bless him to get through it. He didn’t sound bitter at all, as a matter of fact, when asked by the reporter what he was going to do, his response was “I don’t know but I’m thankful, then he said “God is good”. He was thankful and he recognized that he and his family were safe and were going to be fine, and I believe they will because he stood for the kingdom of God proudly and boldly in the face of what may have been his darkest moment as a young man, a husband and a father. His heart was pure in his in the midst of total devastation, and his trust was in God.
Gods word says “Man born of a woman is of a few days and full of trouble” Job 14:1, and as hard as it seems during those trying times, they are meant to strengthen our faith in God because we are trusting Him to help us through it, James 1:3.
So, yes it matters more how we go through tough times than it does what we go through.
Over a year or so ago, I asked you to help us pray for healing from cancer for my friend Elise. God did just that, He healed her to the point that cancer was almost non existent in her body. Well the cancer has come back and has spread to other parts of Elise’s body. We believe that her healing will be on this side of life, so I ask all of you to stand with us in prayer for Elise and her healing. Please pray as specific as she has requested below, and we will give God praise for “He is still healing”. Please pray for a miracle in the life of this young woman and her family. Elise has 5 year old twins and a wonderful husband. She is a twin herself and has a fully devoted family as well as friends standing united in prayer and faith along side her. Please stand with us in believing for her healing on this side of life, in the name of Jesus Christ our Savior and Lord.
Well “it’s about time”! It is one of the most important relationships you will ever have, and the best advice I can give is, Stop being selfish! If you know you are bad with money and even though they do things differently from you, they seem to have a better relationship with finances than you do, give up the power!! Hand over the responsibility of bill paying, spending, and saving, and be willing to take good advice from your “better half”, cause they got it going on in that department !!
I know of what I speak because I did it, and things got so much better once I saw things my husbands way, (He’s gonna love this post!). We got so good at managing our finances that we are now debt free!! I’m not bragging, I’m just trying to help someone. I’m so glad I stopped being selfish and put into practice my husbands way of doing things because we still love each other and we are living the life God promised us!
If you recognize yourself in this post, don’t be so stubborn that you continue in the wrong direction just to spite your spouse. Be flexible and be honest concerning your weaknesses and flaws. Things can and most likely will change with your cooperation.
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God — who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly — and it will be given to him. —James 1:5
So much of the power to keep our relationships thriving is in our very own hands. It’s so important to keep talking, touching, kissing, laughing, and sharing, and do it with your whole heart. I write encouragement on my fridge weekly for my husband and myself. That’s one of my ways to keep our relationship fresh. Remember, we are going on 36 years of marriage!!
My most recent advice was, “Kiss me as if it were the last time! There’s something wonderful that happens when my husband takes time to look at me and wrap his arms around me in a tender embrace, and really kiss me, not just a quick peck of the lips. I feel the the love, and I don’t mind so much that he just left his clothes on the bathroom floor.
If you feel things are a little stale or a lot, you decide to do whatever it takes for you and your relationship to thrive. It is that important!!
Love can last a lifetime but sometimes it doesn’t
Love your husband, love your wife, Learn not sweat the small stuff, like those things that get under your skin for no real good reason! Just love them while you have them with all your heart and with all your patience and understanding. Enjoy every moment with them, adore them and make sure you tell them how much they mean because everything can change in an instant. I sat with a church member and friend as her husband of only 7 months pass over into eternity. They are a young couple and James had only been sick a few weeks. My heart absolutely broke for her. On my ride home I thanked God for the time they had together and I asked Him to help her deal with the extreme pain that she is and must continue to endure.
We all believe our love is forever when we find our true love and I believe it can unless one of those lives is taken, we can be together and in love forever, it simply takes lots of love, honor, patience, kindness, and understanding but more than anything we can do, it takes a true and Unwavering faith in God to help us when times get tough.