Tag Archive | life

Don’t Force It, Be Gentle

I realize that after children, careers and aging together, things will probably never be like they were in the beginning of our relationship but by using positive energy it is easier, I have the power to make subtle changes in any moment. I do things like kiss my husband when he doesn’t expect it, show him affection if I want affection in return and I definitely have learned not to make him responsible for change in our relationship when he doesn’t see a problem with how things are!

Remember, we tend to mirror our parents relationships, so if his dad wasn’t active or affectionate or handy around the house then he might not be either without a gentle nudge from us and whether we like it or not, we do tend to “turn into our parents”

2 Peter 4:8

If we sincerely love one another, that love will cover a multitude of sin (issues)

Practice makes perfect!

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Be Kind

Times are so different now which makes most any negative situation almost impossible to resolve without good communication.

The devil has made sure we don’t talk enough, we don’t touch and we don’t even make eye contact and because of that we can quickly misunderstand each other. Our lives are literally filled with STUFF! Work, activities, television shows etc.,

So, when disagreements or misunderstandings occur in our relationships and marriages, how do we handle them? Are you the type of person who shuts down, who avoids confrontations, or are you the type who gets overly emotional when it comes to confronting issues head on.

Well, no matter how you handle it, you can count on the devil doing his thing in your mind (thoughts), “You should’ve said”, ” Why did you let them get away with that”, “They don’t care about your feelings anyway”, “You should be sick of this….. and I could go on button I’m sure you get the picture. My point is, don’t allow the enemy of mankind and everything that is good, to cause you to be uncomfortable about speaking your feelings, speaking your hurt, acknowledging your pain to the one person you vowed to love forever.

Be sure to always pray for peace and understanding in your relationships then speak your heart regularly, not loudly and not in anger, and definitely not with accusations. Instead make your point softly, with love, in a kind way, in hopes of a resolution almost every time.

Remember, practice makes almost perfect!

Ephesians 4:32

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as Christ forgave you.

2 Timothy 2:24

And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.

Don’t accept just anyone into your life

In a time where so many are searching out true love, don’t assume anyone is desperate enough to put up with your foolishness. When seeking out a relationship you should always put your “best foot” forward but don’t lie about who you truly are or suppress your normal behavior (bad habits) too long. If you have issues, share them and try to work through them (therapy). It works! I know because I had to see someone after my mom passed away. Therapy is so important especially if you recognize a problem with you in past relationships.

No one deserves your brokenness when you can get help.

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“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Luke 6:31).

Don’t hurt them again

Have you ever found yourself using a painful or hurtful moment from the past as a weapon in the present. You know “that thing” that hurt them to their very core, how they did “that”, or when they said “that” and you said you forgave them for it but now you’re bringing it up AGAIN in order to make your point in anger.

Simply put, even if you find yourself absolutely, positively WRONG and you know you’re losing an argument, don’t reach back into the past, that’s a blow “below the belt” and it should never be okay, especially with someone you say you love.

Your only goal should be to solve the problem at hand (the current reason you’re arguing), not bringing up the past.

Remember the golden rule, it works when used correctly and regularly, “Do unto others just as you would want them to do unto you” Luke 6:31

Change is Good

Marriage requires a certain level of maturity as well as a lot of self control.  It has not always been present in my marriage but it is what has kept us together for all these years.  Once we both learned to choose our battles and not wear our feelings on our shirt sleeve, things got much easier .  Now don’t get me wrong, real process takes some of us longer than others and to be honest, we may never really master it but if we get the basic premise of love and unselfish behavior down, life tends to change dramatically.

One of my local gospel personalities said, “Pride makes excuses but maturity makes adjustments”.  Oh my goodness!  How many times have you made an excuse for behaving badly towards one another?  Well, maturity keeps you working at doing what is right, and less likely responding in anger, and definitely not intentionally being hurtful.  Here’s the thing, we can not sustain change without Gods help and strength to working in us, no matter how badly we really want to, it’s hard and we must always check our motives for the change. Now ask yourself, “Have I asked God to help me to change for me?  “Do I really even want to change” then once you identify your reason for wanting change, go to your Heavenly Father, ask Him to help you with the process, ask Him to help you to love one another just as He loves us, unconditionally.    Now all you have to do is start behaving in love as you continue to pray for Gods help to sustain the change in you.

Remember, you may fail a few times before you get it, but “Practice makes perfect and you will know when you have matured beyond your own ability because you will start to give more of yourself than you may be receiving without much effort at all, you may walk away from confrontations instead of speaking in anger, and most things that angered you in the past may even become comical because The Holy Spirit will help you to see how childish some reactions really are.

“Love (charity) starts at home and then spreads abroad”

Don’t Be Obsessed Over It

MONEY! Are you always trying to figure out how to get more, how to get rich, or how to live the “high life”

If you are a Christ follower, you should know the word of God warns against striving for riches

Mark 10:25. In fact, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!”


1 Timothy 6:10. For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows. v11. But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.

Besides, if God hasn’t been able to trust you with hundreds or thousands, why would he bless you with more, which according to His word would ruin your life eventually, so why are you asking for millions?

Luke 6:10. He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much; and he who is unrighteous in a very little thing is unrighteous also in much.

Change your mindset concerning money. Strive to be responsible with that which you already have by living within your means, by caring for those you are responsible for, and by using what you have to bless others, you reveal the glory of God within you and in return you will see how much more your life will be blessed. It will seem as though you have more because God increases that which you already have.

Change your mindset about money and your life will be changed

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