Some time ago, I’d been saying things about my husbands appearance (no room to talk) hoping he would make a few small changes. The problem was, I wasn’t being very gentle in my approach “on purpose”.
When he’d had just about enough, he let me have it!! He told me the things I had been saying to him were hurtful and down right mean! As you can imagine, that wasn’t anything I wanted to hear. That wasn’t what I was trying to do, after all I was only trying to help him “See things my way”.
I knew exactly what was doing, I was being critical of him, telling him in a not so tactful way. In my defense, I thought if I did, i would get results quicker. It was how “I” wanted him to look, to dress and to speak and it hadn’t worked at all. In fact it had done the complete opposite, he turned on me, he was angry, resentful and not trying to hear a word I was saying at this point.
I had created a MONTSER, this was not my sweet, “happy go lucky” husband at all, and It was all my own undoing. Now it was up to me to reverse the behavior and calm the BEAST I’d created.
I had to first admit what I had done! I was wrong! I owned up to it. I asked God to forgive me and then I apologized to my husband immediately, explaining my motives, and true to his nature, the sweet, thoughtful man he is, he understood. He accepted my heart felt apology and soon returned to his happy little self, not growling, not grumpy or angry anymore.
BUT! The metamorphosis only took place when I humbled myself and apologized, otherwise I might have had a front row seat to watch my wonderful marriage turn into something very ugly! Something unrecognizable and I sure as heck wasn’t going to allow that to happen to us!
The moral of this story is, don’t make someone miserable in the process of trying to make yourself happier !!
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.