Tag Archive | content

There is a way that seems right but is it right for you?

Some time ago, I’d been saying things about my husbands appearance (no room to talk) hoping he would make a few small changes. The problem was, I wasn’t being very gentle in my approach “on purpose”.

When he’d had just about enough, he let me have it!! He told me the things I had been saying to him were hurtful and down right mean! As you can imagine, that wasn’t anything I wanted to hear. That wasn’t what I was trying to do, after all I was only trying to help him “See things my way”.

I knew exactly what was doing, I was being critical of him, telling him in a not so tactful way. In my defense, I thought if I did, i would get results quicker. It was how “I” wanted him to look, to dress and to speak and it hadn’t worked at all. In fact it had done the complete opposite, he turned on me, he was angry, resentful and not trying to hear a word I was saying at this point.

I had created a MONTSER, this was not my sweet, “happy go lucky” husband at all, and It was all my own undoing. Now it was up to me to reverse the behavior and calm the BEAST I’d created.

I had to first admit what I had done! I was wrong! I owned up to it. I asked God to forgive me and then I apologized to my husband immediately, explaining my motives, and true to his nature, the sweet, thoughtful man he is, he understood. He accepted my heart felt apology and soon returned to his happy little self, not growling, not grumpy or angry anymore.

BUT! The metamorphosis only took place when I humbled myself and apologized, otherwise I might have had a front row seat to watch my wonderful marriage turn into something very ugly! Something unrecognizable and I sure as heck wasn’t going to allow that to happen to us!

The moral of this story is, don’t make someone miserable in the process of trying to make yourself happier !!

Philippians 4:11

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.

Proverbs 15:1

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.


No Do Overs

As always when I talk to my best friend something comes out of our conversation which helps us both. We always seem to lift one another up that way. This time it was our roles as “Help meets” to our husbands and children and how we sometimes resist that calling because we are just tired. We either do too much for our families (spoil them) or we take on too much outside our households which causes imbalance.

In most cases God did not call us to those “other things” but He did call us to be wives, mothers, and nurturers. It’s not always easy, and yes we do allow life to overwhelm us with things which do not matter as much as our families.

I recently heard a report which said that most young mothers are so overwhelmed with motherhood, they have turned to drinking and taking drugs as a way to cope!

I attribute that to trying to have “It All”, careers social lives as well as the pressure that is “Social media perfect”. We all should know from our own experiences (at times) how long it takes to get that perfect shot, the smile just right, the backdrop just so. We also know that picture portrays a perfectly loving, happy marriage and family, when we know darn well we only smiled for the picture to be taken and went right back to not speaking or yelling at the kids!

You can not be perfect, “No not one” Take the pressure off yourself. Enjoy those babies, and enjoy this time in your life. It’s the only time you have. There are no “Do-overs” so make the best your “Right now”.

When life gets hard remember that you have a “Helper” The Holy Spirit living within you to help you and to strengthen you. Psalms 55:22

God kept me, He held me together

Don’t be so quick to say someone doesn’t understand what you’re going through. You never know what a person has gone through just by looking at them. People suffer in silence or they find ways to cope with their adversities. Never assume you know the whole story about anyone just because of what you see in this moment.

While standing in my kitchen washing dishes, and listening to gospel music, a song came on (Zacardi Cortez “God held me together) which reminded me of how the Lord has kept me. I began to recall things I haven’t thought about in years, all while knowing how intentional I believe God has been in keeping me for this moment in life, to be an encouragement, spiritual support, voice of reason or simply a listening ear for everyone He would send my way.

Just so you understand some of what i’ve overcome, my first real memory of how God has kept me from hurt, pain and even death was God delivering me from sexual abuse when I was just eight or nine years old, then a memory of God keeping me from being  abducted on my way home from school one day, my dad showed up just as the guys had blocked me in and were getting out of their car.  I remember him running with all his might (he was a big man).  I also remembered almost being shot by a stray bullet while my siblings and I played on the street (an NYPD car chase).   One of the most painful memories was when my dad who I know loved me from the depths of his heart had a nervous breakdown and my baby brother and I had to literally run for our lives, because it seemed that my fathers intention was to kill his family and then himself! My next memory was in my youthful stupidity, I tried recreational drugs (weed) and apparently my boyfriend at the time laced it with something extra.  To this day I have no memory of that night (crazy right). I also experienced issues with depression early in my marriage while my husband was deployed oversees in the Navy. It was to the point that I contemplated taking my life and my baby girls who was in the car with me at the time. I was so lonely and angry that I was in the situation I was in but it was only in that moment I gave into the voices that told me to pull in front of a dump truck to end my pain and disappointment.  It was that moment I looked over into my daughters sweet little eyes that I knew I had to live. God had a call on her and the baby boy I would have a few years later. God held me together for my family and so many others. Be encouraged, whatever you are going through is only for a season, It won’t last always.
Psalm 30:5 Weeping may endure for a night but joy will come in the morning

Giving it all you got

My husband and I regularly  reflect on our lives together.  We certainly realize how differently our lives could have been if we had not met, fallen in love, gotten married, and stayed married.   It’s important to express to one another how much we appreciate each other for being supportive throughout our lives together with all of its crooks, and turns. 

The thing is,  life is largely what we make of it.   You have more control over your future than you realize. Trusting God, and living a life of obedience to His Word is the beginning of joy, peace, and happiness,  and success

God’s Word promises us so much, Her only asks for our obedience to His word.  

“If you abide in Me and My Word abides in you, you can ask whatever you will, and it shall be given unto you” (John 15:7).  

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”.  (Jeremiah 29:11) 

Live Life in the Moment, Enjoy Your “Right Now”

I posted this some time ago, but the same applies during this Holiday Season. Don’t get so busy trying to find the perfect gifts and going to parties that you forget what this season is really all about. The ultimate gift of a Savior for the world.

Some of us are so busy trying to find that perfect relationship, that perfect look, or even trying to achieve that perfect lifestyle, that we forget to just enjoy the ride getting to where we ultimately would like life to be.

You will never get this time back. Take the pressure off of yourself and ask God to help you to live for Him and to be content with your “here and now”.


Keep on Living, You’ll See

We will never understand God as we understand one another, after all He is God, creator of all life, the universe and beyond anything we will ever comprehend. While speaking on this very subject with someone recently, I heard a small voice saying, “That’s the reason sin entered the world in the first place”. The serpent (the devil) came to Eve and told her, she could have wisdom equal to Gods, that she could live forever if she ate the forbidden fruit in the midst of the garden, but God commanded her and Adam (her husband) not to eat from it (Genesis 3). Eve was probably content with what God had so generously and lovingly given them, which was everything they needed! but they yielded to temptation, and were both cast out of Paradise for their disobedience to God. They lost all that God had prepared in order for them to live a beautiful life with one another and in the very presence of God himself.

I also shared how, early in my marriage I was concerned that I was not living up to my full potential in life or in my faith, but God was using me even then, I just couldn’t see it as being used by Him, but we now understand that we left “God prints” every place the military took us for almost 30 years.

God is the creator of everything and we are His workmanship (formed by His hands), never were we meant to be His equal. So why do we feel the need to know what He knows, the way He knows it as our Creator. It’s still the devil attempting to keep us from feeling fulfilled, and keeping us from our full potential in The Lord.

The Bible was given by inspiration of God, and we are to use it to live a victorious life. If we put in the work (spending time with God (John 15:5), reading His word (John 8:31-32), and praying in faith regularly (John 15:7), God will get the glory out of our lives. “His Word is a lamp to my feet and light on my pathway” (Psalms 119:105)

I realize that everything I’ve gone through in life, every decision, every choice and even the pain I’ve experienced, has brought me to where I am today.

Just keep living, God will eventually make it clear to you. You’ll see!

Get Fired Up!

This is for those of you who feel like you have fought the good fight, you have kept the faith but you’re not happy. Life is not over, and you’re not finished yet! God has so much for you, but you have to want if enough to go after it. You had a dream and maybe marriage, raising children and the cares of life frankly kept you from pursuing your dream. Now you find yourself longing for more.

As my granddaughter Grace says so sweetly in her high pitched voice, “Go get your life”.