Tag Archive | Dating

Marriage is Honorable 

While on a road trip recently ,  my husband was listening to one of his favorite old school CDs when a song (Put it on paper) came on.  It reminded me of something our minister said in his sermon that Sunday .  He talked about how he counseled a couple who were having problems first of all because the man in the relationship didn’t want to get married.  His statement to the minister was, “Why do I need a piece of paper to say I’m committed to a person”.  The minister responded so wisely in my opinion with this statement; He said,  Do you drive, you must have a drivers license.  Do you have a weapon, then you must have a permit to carry it.  Do you fish, then you have to have a fishing license, So if you are willing to obtain a license for all those things, why not love her enough to do the legal and spiritually correct thing and marry her if you are truly committed to her and the relationship???
And just this morning I heard on the morning show why Opra Winfrey said she couldn’t marry long time partner excuses, excuses, excuses!   Bottom line is, don’t allow anyone to devalue you with their selfish excuses or childhood issues and personal hang ups.  If they aren’t willing to do the right thing by you,  they might not be the right person for you.

Hebrews 13:4. Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

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Go Get Your Sexy Back

I am using an snippet from a fellow blogger (Loftspeaker1) who’s definitely got it right in my humble opinion when it comes to wives (or husbands) who long for more affection, that “New love” type of affection in their marriage again

If there’s still a longing for romance bottle up inside you (because it’s almost nonexistent) , let that energy flow from inside you.  Instead of wondering “Where is the love”, let it pour out of you back into your marriage again. SHOW your spouse what you need just like you used to. Let the romance you show them be the model of what you’d like shown back to you.  Plan a romantic getaway, write them some love notes (be graphic), make candlelit dinners just for them. Let it be an ongoing building up of romance, excitement and  expectation of what your plans are for them.  They’ll be wondering what you’re going to do next and will hopefully use your acts/ ideas as a model for when they try to do a little something romantic for you next time.


Hebrews 13:4-6 “Marriage is honorable in all, and the marriage bed undefiled”   

So, go get your sexy, spicey hot relationship back, there’s nothing holding you back but you, and remember this,  “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again”.   Do Not give up if it fails the first time.

Continue the Courtship 

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, but it’s not as important to me in my maturity (old age) 😏 because I like gifts and kind gestures anytime.  I believe individuals which have surpassed the ten year milestone in marriage can find  themselves doing the same things the same way everyday of the week,  and will actually rationalize it by saying “this my life now”, “I’m too tired after a hard day at work and the kids” or “life is just too busy to prioritize us”, and we could go on and on.

Recognize the tricks of the enemy (satan), and his ability to tear relationships apart.  It is imparative to prioritize your spouse, your “Boo”, your “Better half”.  

It’s not hard, it’s actually simple if you can recall those special little things you did early in your relationship.  You know!   You cooked special meals or planned special dates if you didn’t cook.  Remember how you brought her flowers, cause back then you didn’t care how much they cost !  Yea all that, and all you need to do is start today.  Don’t wait till Valentine’s Day.  It won’t have the same affect,  By all means don’t disappoint on VD but start! take baby steps, and remember it’s not something you have to do all the time, just make the effort, show them you still care enough to try.


will smother your relationship to death!
May God bless your efforts

Anything other than happiness is, “Sad”!

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”- 1 Peter 4:8

– This is a very important life verse for marriage because marriage is a unification of two sinners. No one is perfect in a marriage or any other way. There will be times that a husband or wife may fail each other, mess up, or do something hurtful. It is important to remember God’s definition of love and know that loving each other deeply can cover just about anything. This verse reminds us of the true power of including God in our love for one another!

Scripture says, “What God has joined, let no one tear apart”. Do you have the basic ingredients for a successful marriage?  God, trust, honor, and respect are just a few.

Let it All Hang Out

Times are so very different now than when my husband and I were dating, it makes me a little sad.   People hide behind lies or surface conversations, and you never seem to get below thier surface.  You meet online,  you text instead of talk.  Communication is vital, and face to face conversations allow you to see, instead of assume someone’s emotion from a txt msg.  Phone calls allow you to hear emotion as well.  Don’t allow someone who only wants to text, to get close to you. Their either not really serious or they have something to hide.

For your own good, take time to get to really know a person before you allow yourself to fall for someone you may think you know.    Don’t be afraid to ask questions you need answers to for fear of upsetting someone, that’s if you are dating for the purpose of finding a life long mate (marriage).  Involve God in your relationship, ask Him to show you all things that may be hidden, and then “watch as well as pray”.   As for yourself, “Let it all hang out”,  all of who you are, and see if they can handle the real you, especially if you know you have unresolved issues, issues that may have even ruined a promising relationship in the past (some things come only by prayer and fasting).  

What I am saying is, don’t be a deceiver and don’t allow yourself to be deceived.  The truth is always better than a lie.  So go ahead, and let them get to know who you really are!   And ask God to show you who they really are as well, after all,  the person meant for you can handle almost everything about you until,  even if a change ever takes place.  They could even be the reason you finally begin to want to work things out within yourself!

Proverbs 12:22 ESV   Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.
Proverbs 10:9 ESV  Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.

The “Real” deal

I was watching my favorite morning show when Toni Tennille of the 70’s & 80’s singing duo Captain and Tennille was on the show talking about what we now know was a very unhappy marriage.  The problem was that for the sake of their careers and from the public perception everything seemed fine, they seemed to be happily married!
She recently wrote a book telling how and why the relationship is now over.  She writes that they were married because her mother and their agent wanted it especially after they had a child together, so they did it.  She tells how she was a very happy and affectionate person but her husband was not because of his difficult childhood.  The thing is, she knew this before she said “I do”!  Big mistake!  As I have said many times, people are generally who they are when you meet them.  You can’t change the fabric of who a person truly is.  They are who they are and not likely to change, no matter how hard they may try.  Only God can change us and that is only when we acknowledge we are broken or we recognize we have a problem.

I’m pretty sure I have told you guys before that even in my happy marriage, my husband and I revisit some of the same issues every 6 months or so like clock work, and that’s okay,  that’s how we function because we are very different people.  I love him so much because he has always been willing to work on those things which don’t come as naturally to him as they do to me (affection and social activity).

The moral of this story is, if you are making excuses for them constantly, take the blinders off!   If you are in a relationship with someone who has ways that drive you up a wall or you says things like, “I think they are great” but…  Don’t look over those problems or issues because after they hurt you, you have “great make up sex” (a no no as a Christian anyway), or “they are so good looking” (we look so great together), please don’t be this shallow concerning your life. 

Weigh the pros (happiness, joy) against the cons (unhappiness, pain, disfunction) before you take the leap into what “should be “a life long relationship together, and above all don’t be desperate, don’t allow yourself to be deceived for the sake of having a relationship.

Life is tough enough, but life with someone who is not concerned about your overall happiness and well-being as much as they are with their own,  would be very unhappy and evermore sad knowing you saw all the signs before you committed to it..

Go into every relationship with your eyes wide open.  Ask God to show you those things which you can not see about or in them for yourself.  Ask God to show you all things that may be hidden from you on purpose! If you are honest with yourself, we all know how to put the best of us on display in order to get what we want, don’t we?

Proverbs 12:22
Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.

John 8:32
You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free

Honesty is always the best policy

Honesty, communication and commitment exists in every successful relationship.

Do not allow yourself to become involved with anyone whom you do not have the freedom to be yourself. I know you may want the life you’ve dreamed about, but I pray, not at the cost of settling for less than the person with whom you can be happy with forever and ever, amen.

Don’t get me wrong, you can definitely fix some things such as, bad habits, bad manners, those annoying things overall, and so can they of they desire but be true to yourself. Do not pretend you are something or someone you’re not!
It’s just not fair to anyone, and most importantly, it will cause you unhappiness and hearty ache in the long run.

It is impossible to keep pretending or to keep anything hidden for long, nor should it be your desire! Again I say, YOU can not change anyone! Like em or leave em alone.