Tag Archive | talk

All In


Let’s keep it 100 (real). Marriage is not always easy but the way in which we go through life struggles with spouses has everything to do with how we come out of any situation. It is vitally important that we operate in kindness and understanding.  Put yourself in your spouses position in that moment of confusion (love), show love and compassion (kind), and in most cases (not always), you will get love and compassion in return (humble).

1 Corinthians 13:4 NIV

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

For Peace Sake

I watched a dance show the other night and a couple who were contestants shared candidly about how they had trouble in their relationship, and how it was at that point they had to make a decision whether they were going to work out their relationship or allow their marriage to fail.  They chose to make a conscious effort to stay married each and every day through any bad feelings or misunderstandings in order to work out their differences and make their marriage work.

Sometimes things get so hard in our relationships that we must take extreme measures if we are going to survive together.   I suggest from my own experience that you try to start each day praying together, before the stress of the day begins.  Start each day committing to staying married, committing to working out issues, not arguing, not fighting, not fussing and not sweating the small stuff.  It’s a very intimate moment and it will allow you to hear from the heart of the person you love.

As I said to some good friends yesterday, choose your battles wisely, don’t bicker about every little thing, things that you know deep down in your heart aren’t going to change much, if at all.  Resolve to find a better way to deal with those things for peace sake, and above all remember that God looks over our faults, so let’s learn to be gracious and merciful towards one another as well.

1 Corinthians 3:14, love is patient, love is kind

Roman 12:18, if possible so much as it depends on you, live at peace with one another 

What!!!  Marriage is Trending

Well  “it’s about time”! It is one of the most important relationships you will ever have, and the best advice I can give is, Stop being selfish! If you know you are bad with money and even though they do things differently from you, they seem to have a better relationship with finances than you do, give up the power!! Hand over the responsibility of bill paying, spending, and saving, and be willing to take good advice from your “better half”, cause they got it going on in that department !!  

I know of what I speak because I did it, and things got so much better once I saw things my husbands way, (He’s gonna love this post!). We got so good at managing our finances that we are now debt free!! I’m not bragging, I’m just trying to help someone. I’m so glad I stopped being selfish and put into practice my husbands way of doing things because we still love each other and we are living the life God promised us!

If you recognize yourself in this post, don’t be so stubborn that you continue in the wrong direction just to spite your spouse. Be flexible and be honest concerning your weaknesses and flaws. Things can and most likely will change with your cooperation.

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God ​— ​who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly ​— ​and it will be given to him. —James 1:5

Let It Breathe

I know I’ve said it before and I will continue saying it! “No relationship will last without good communication”. I have come to recognize the older my husband and I get, the more.we are changing. If we are still adjusting our behavior for one another after 35 years, you must understand, especially if you are just starting out, you’ve got to “dig in”, and be committed to putting the work into your relationship which  it takes to sustain, nurture and grow a loving relationship for years to come.

Do not assume anyone knows how you feel, talk about what annoys you, what troubles you as well as your likes and dislikes. Work through your differences, leave no room for misunderstandings.

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Get Over It

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This is such a cute illustration of what happens in even the best relationships sometimes.

Have you ever said, “I love you but I don’t like you very much right now”? It’s nothing strange to be in love and not like one another, just don’t allow anger or misunderstandings to linger.   Anger and misunderstandings left unchecked only allow room for destruction in a relationship.  

 So get over yourself, I know how you may feel but, for the sake of your relationship, your family and your future together, don’t sweat the small stuff.  It’s just not worth it.  Get over it!
Heres something that has helped me down through the years,  If there is a problem  between me and my husband which We can’t seem to resolve, I pray and ask God for a time when my husband will be receptive and will understand my issue with him, and without fail God works in us both in a way in which  we are not able to do on our own.   God is amazing, and He is always there waiting for us to allow Him to be Lord over our lives.

Hebrews 12:15
“See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows to cause trouble and defile many”

Life is about stages

I know I’ve said this before,  but it bears repeating;  No one stays the same in life, especially in marriage and relationships.    Marriage, children, sickness, and even the stress of work changes us.  Life simply changes us, It can’t be helped,  it just happens.  “We live our lives in phases”.  I heard that on tv this morning and it made so much sence.

In order to make sure these changes or phases don’t derail or destroy your relationship,   you must always be mindful of one another.  Check in emotionally as well as physically with one another regularly,  don’t ever assume everything is fine, after all, we are pros at deception, or hiding out feelings.  So be purposeful about  spending quality time together,  building one another up during tough times.  Share your feelings (good, bad, and indifferent) your daily experiences, your faults and your failures but!! ! Be careful not to use one another as your own personal “dumping ground”.

I had to express this very thing to my husband recently. I was so tired of him coming home everyday complaining about the same thing, did I mention it was everyday for weeks ?   His response to me was,  ” If I can’t talk to you,  then who can I talk to”?. The”talking” wasn’t  the problem, it was the content of the conversation, (I love hearing about his day normally), but no one wants to hear anyone complain about the same thing all the time!. The thing is, he probably didn’t even realize he was doing it until I  brought it to his attention.   He does now!. 

The key to correction for anyone is doing it with love, kindness and respect.  

The pay off can be great!

Don’t judge me

Life is so hectic these days,   everyone has their own struggles,  their own issues,  their own demons.   People are losing hope like never before because of the a slow economy,  job loss,  failed relationships,  loneliness, depression etc., Suicide and murder are on the rise because the enemy causes us to feel hopeless, and alone if we are not careful.

We must learn to recognize the signs of depression,  anger,  sadness etc, and we must make ourselves available as well as approachable, so that anyone who may be in need can feel comfortable with confiding in us, sharing with us,  or even venting their frustrations to us.

Understand that people don’t always need advice,  sometimes all they really need is a hand to hold in their time of trouble,  an ear to listen to how they really feel,  or a heart which understands that they are only human and that we all make mistakes.  Most of all they must feel as though you won’t judge them.   For there is only one judge and He is God the Father of us all.

“For we all have sinned  and fallen short of the glory of God”  Romans 3:23