Tag Archive | talk

Check Yourself!

In order to get along with others, we must sometimes be willing to accept constructive Criticisms. Have you heard this saying; “If people in your life who don’t know each other say the same thing about you, then it might be true”. If this is you, try not to become defensive, or frustrated, instead evaluate what is being said about you, and be brutally honest with yourself in the process.

In my house we say “Check yourself”. So when you realize an unflattering truth about yourself, don’t get down about it, instead ask God to help you to change it. I say “Ask God” because we all know when we are wrong for the most part, and we sometimes try to change and we may always seem to fall short, and fall back into those old ways or habits, and they are probably things we don’t even like about ourselves.

Remember, if it were simple, we wouldn’t still be trying to change. The best way to become a better person is by being a loving person, a person who loves enough to change hurtful or harmful ways or bad habits. The change will be for our own good as well as for the good of those who love us and those who are forced to deal with us each and everyday.

Romans 12:17
17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.

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Happily Ever After?

There is something lacking in today’s society, Patience! We want everything right now. We want it exactly the way we want it. If it’s not working the way we think it ought to, it is so easily discarded and we’re on to the next thing, relationship, friend, job etc,.

Does this phrase sound familiar at all?, “Anything worth having is worth fighting or working for”.

My “Oh so practical” husband says concerning our relationship; “I’d rather have 80% of the good in you than 80% of the worse. I can deal with 20% of anything if the rest is working out pretty well for me”

Why do we make relationships so hard? If there is more good than, not so good, then work on the “not so good” part till it’s better. The point I’m trying to make is, we all have flaws, issues and baggage from previous relationships, but it’s so much easier to see someone else’s flaws than it is to see our own. That’s why In any relationship, self evaluation is critical.

Ask yourself some vital questions such as, what would happen if I became …., what could our marriage not withstand….., what could make him/her feel differently about me. Talk regularly about things like this so that when an issue arises in your relationship, it won’t be blown out of proportion because you have communicated therefore you are better able to understand one another enough to get through them when they arise.

Do you realize that we are less likely to offend a good friend than we are our spouse or loved one. Why? Because we talk with our friends all the time, so why not extend that same courtesy to the person you vowed to love, honor and cherish or that person you are in a committed relationship with?

Live peaceably with all people, that means our spouses and loved ones too! (Romans 12:14-18)

Happy Wife, Happy Life?

If you were to ask my husband about how his marriage works so well, he would tell you that he keeps me happy. It’s true! and in return I do what it takes to keep him happy.

There are many components to having a good relationship, one is a continuous cycle of give and take, and it shouldn’t be conditional (I’ll do for you, if you do for me) nor should it be based on whether you are getting all you want out of the relationship all of the time. Love is supposed to be unconditional. “Love one another as I have loved you”

Everyone has a “Love language” I read a book titled, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, is a 1995 book by Gary Chapman. I learned that my husbands love language was “Acts of Service”. No, i’m not his servant but, I do know that nothing makes him happier than a good meal or me pampering him, so I cook for him and I pamper him (it gets old sometimes) but he deserves all I do for him and more because he is operating as the husband God called him to be. He is my protector, my provider, my spiritual covering, and my friend.

Maybe you’ve gotten so comfortable or complacent in your relationship that it doesn’t seem so important to do those special little things anymore. Well, I’m here to tell you, It still Is! It takes even more effort the longer you’re together in order for your relationship to stay alive and thriving.

Everyone loves to be appreciated, whether it’s spoken or physically shown, so reciprocate, give back, counter, return, however you say it. The Bible puts it like this; “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Luke 6:31). Don’t look at it as a chore, see it as an investment in your happiness and your future.

Ladies and gentleman, if you have a wonderful spouse or mate, make sure they know how you feel. Show them, and tell them because love is truly an action word.

Husbands, 1 Peter 3:7 is a powerful scripture concerning your wife, and your prayers. It talks about how important a peaceful existence with your wife is. Take a look and see.

All In


Let’s keep it 100 (real). Marriage is not always easy but the way in which we go through life struggles with spouses has everything to do with how we come out of any situation. It is vitally important that we operate in kindness and understanding.  Put yourself in your spouses position in that moment of confusion (love), show love and compassion (kind), and in most cases (not always), you will get love and compassion in return (humble).

1 Corinthians 13:4 NIV

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

For Peace Sake

I watched a dance show the other night and a couple who were contestants shared candidly about how they had trouble in their relationship, and how it was at that point they had to make a decision whether they were going to work out their relationship or allow their marriage to fail.  They chose to make a conscious effort to stay married each and every day through any bad feelings or misunderstandings in order to work out their differences and make their marriage work.

Sometimes things get so hard in our relationships that we must take extreme measures if we are going to survive together.   I suggest from my own experience that you try to start each day praying together, before the stress of the day begins.  Start each day committing to staying married, committing to working out issues, not arguing, not fighting, not fussing and not sweating the small stuff.  It’s a very intimate moment and it will allow you to hear from the heart of the person you love.

As I said to some good friends yesterday, choose your battles wisely, don’t bicker about every little thing, things that you know deep down in your heart aren’t going to change much, if at all.  Resolve to find a better way to deal with those things for peace sake, and above all remember that God looks over our faults, so let’s learn to be gracious and merciful towards one another as well.

1 Corinthians 3:14, love is patient, love is kind

Roman 12:18, if possible so much as it depends on you, live at peace with one another 

What!!!  Marriage is Trending

Well  “it’s about time”! It is one of the most important relationships you will ever have, and the best advice I can give is, Stop being selfish! If you know you are bad with money and even though they do things differently from you, they seem to have a better relationship with finances than you do, give up the power!! Hand over the responsibility of bill paying, spending, and saving, and be willing to take good advice from your “better half”, cause they got it going on in that department !!  

I know of what I speak because I did it, and things got so much better once I saw things my husbands way, (He’s gonna love this post!). We got so good at managing our finances that we are now debt free!! I’m not bragging, I’m just trying to help someone. I’m so glad I stopped being selfish and put into practice my husbands way of doing things because we still love each other and we are living the life God promised us!

If you recognize yourself in this post, don’t be so stubborn that you continue in the wrong direction just to spite your spouse. Be flexible and be honest concerning your weaknesses and flaws. Things can and most likely will change with your cooperation.

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God ​— ​who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly ​— ​and it will be given to him. —James 1:5

Let It Breathe

I know I’ve said it before and I will continue saying it! “No relationship will last without good communication”. I have come to recognize the older my husband and I get, the more.we are changing. If we are still adjusting our behavior for one another after 35 years, you must understand, especially if you are just starting out, you’ve got to “dig in”, and be committed to putting the work into your relationship which  it takes to sustain, nurture and grow a loving relationship for years to come.

Do not assume anyone knows how you feel, talk about what annoys you, what troubles you as well as your likes and dislikes. Work through your differences, leave no room for misunderstandings.

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