Tag Archive | communication

The Good Old Days

It seems as though time is slipping away right before our very eyes. Are you making the most of your time? I believe we try to make time for who and what is important to us or so we think, but can you truly be present (in the moment) with yourcell phone, your iPad or tablet in your face, mindlessly scrolling the internet, through Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest or looking at sports videos and YouTube, Nope!

I remember a simpler time, back when my husband and I had so much contempt for the devices we are now literally “joined at the hip” with. We even talked back then about how “those darn mobile phones” would be the demise of society. The young people were using them in order not to have real interaction, they were a way out of having to deal with people. Now adults are doing the same thing!

We actually peaked into the future, didn’t we!

If this is going to change, we must now be intentional with putting our devices down, making eye contact, saying “Hi”. Your conversation could be the only real and hopefully (positive) interaction a person has today.

Here’s the thing, If you are older, you remember what life was like without a mobile phone, tablets, and all this technology. The world was a much friendlier place, people talked, there was very little internet activity at home (it was at work only) to rob us of hours of our precious time on earth.

Don’t fret! We can get it back! Good old fashioned communication is not totally lost. We just have to be intentional in doing it! Say “Hi” to a stranger, have a conversation in the doctors office, on the elevator, in line waiting for coffee or try this, pick up your phone and call someone instead of texting them!

Let’s go back to the “old time” ways

Colossians 4:5

Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time.

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Let It Breathe

I know I’ve said it before and I will continue saying it! “No relationship will last without good communication”. I have come to recognize the older my husband and I get, the more we have and are changing. If we are still adjusting our behavior for one another after 36 years, you must understand, especially if you are just starting out, you’ve got to “dig in”, and be committed to putting the work into your relationship it takes to sustain, nurture and grow a loving for years to come.

Do not assume anyone knows how you feel, talk about what annoys you and what troubles you especially your likes and dislikes. Work through your differences, leave no room for misunderstandings.

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I Apologize

So, I recall a while back being very impatient with my husband, you know how we get and I may have been nagging him and complaining a lot about little things such as him sucking his teeth after a meal instead of getting a tooth pick or getting totally “bent out of shape” about how he always finds a way not to be wrong no matter what!!

Well!  On that particular Sunday as we got in the car the radio DJ spoke as if he were speaking directly to us, “If you are happy with 90% of your spouses behavior then why not see the other 10% as being under construction”.  In other words deal with him with the same measure of grace that our Lord deals with you daily! When we got to church the Pastor in his sermon said as if he heard from God on our behalf, “If your passion is not your spouse, being with them, meeting all their needs, then you are missing the mark”. I knew God had spoken to both of us in the span of one hour, and we both heard Him loud and clear.

We quietly committed to change some things with Gods help.

1 Peter 4:8

Above all love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sin (flaws)

It’s a marriage not a competition 

When People of faith get married, the Bible says “we become one body” in the site of God.  Being “One” means, We win together or We lose together!  Nothing is just about us as individuals any longer.  

Let’s learn to work together, save together, cook together,  clean the house together, conversate together, live, love and laugh together, and even cry together.  That’s what growing together is!  It’s not how much more or less than you, “I can do”.  Do unto others as we would have them do unto us” Luke 6:31.  We don’t hold back or hold out on ourselves, do we! We do the best we can for us, so if we are truly “One”, act like it.  Selfishness begets selfishness.

Mark 12:31,  “Love your neighbor (that includes your spouse) as yourself.   For there is no greater commandment”.

Let “em” go

You could be rejected and not understand what’s happening.  So let me help you out.  When you keep reaching out, and they don’t reciprocate (return the gesture) it may be that they don’t want to talk, be friends, or communicate with you any longer.  You should understand that most  relationships are meant to be lifelong.   

Try not to be upset if you are being ignored, avoided, or even “unfriended on social media”. See your own worth and decide that you are going to be adult about this, and even be okay with greeting them with a smile if you see them in passing.

So have your moment of “How dare they reject me” then tell yourself,  If they want to go, let them go! 

1 Peter 2:4 ESV,  ” As you come to Him (Jesus), He is a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious”

Let it All Hang Out

Times are so very different now than when my husband and I were dating, it makes me a little sad.   People hide behind lies or surface conversations, and you never seem to get below thier surface.  You meet online,  you text instead of talk.  Communication is vital, and face to face conversations allow you to see, instead of assume someone’s emotion from a txt msg.  Phone calls allow you to hear emotion as well.  Don’t allow someone who only wants to text, to get close to you. Their either not really serious or they have something to hide.

For your own good, take time to get to really know a person before you allow yourself to fall for someone you may think you know.    Don’t be afraid to ask questions you need answers to for fear of upsetting someone, that’s if you are dating for the purpose of finding a life long mate (marriage).  Involve God in your relationship, ask Him to show you all things that may be hidden, and then “watch as well as pray”.   As for yourself, “Let it all hang out”,  all of who you are, and see if they can handle the real you, especially if you know you have unresolved issues, issues that may have even ruined a promising relationship in the past (some things come only by prayer and fasting).  

What I am saying is, don’t be a deceiver and don’t allow yourself to be deceived.  The truth is always better than a lie.  So go ahead, and let them get to know who you really are!   And ask God to show you who they really are as well, after all,  the person meant for you can handle almost everything about you until,  even if a change ever takes place.  They could even be the reason you finally begin to want to work things out within yourself!

Proverbs 12:22 ESV   Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.
Proverbs 10:9 ESV  Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.

No Not One!

So, have you ever found yourself  being envious of the relationship you think other couples have?  Well, I have  but I also can’t count the  times I have been told ” You guys seem to have the perfect relationship” or “I wish we had what you guys have”.  “If walls could talk” you would see just how much alike we may actually be.  You have to understand that most of us put our best foot forward in the presence of others   We allow them to only see the best of us,  the happy, the fun or the affectionate part of our relationship while we are in the company of others.  So don’t allow envy of another couples relationship to destroy your own relationship because in most cases,  it’s not completely what you think it is!    

There is absolutely NO perfect relationship between anyone, and that includes me and my hubby. Ours like most, is a work in progress. 

Your goal should simply be to implement ideas,  language, and even activities, in your relationship which please you both, and which betters your ability to communicate with one another, that’s it! That’s a recipe for a wonderful relationship

Exodus 20:17