Tag Archive | relationship

Don’t Force It, Be Gentle

I realize that after children, careers and aging together, things will probably never be like they were in the beginning of our relationship but by using positive energy it is easier, I have the power to make subtle changes in any moment. I do things like kiss my husband when he doesn’t expect it, show him affection if I want affection in return and I definitely have learned not to make him responsible for change in our relationship when he doesn’t see a problem with how things are!

Remember, we tend to mirror our parents relationships, so if his dad wasn’t active or affectionate or handy around the house then he might not be either without a gentle nudge from us and whether we like it or not, we do tend to “turn into our parents”

2 Peter 4:8

If we sincerely love one another, that love will cover a multitude of sin (issues)

Practice makes perfect!

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Be Kind

Times are so different now which makes most any negative situation almost impossible to resolve without good communication.

The devil has made sure we don’t talk enough, we don’t touch and we don’t even make eye contact and because of that we can quickly misunderstand each other. Our lives are literally filled with STUFF! Work, activities, television shows etc.,

So, when disagreements or misunderstandings occur in our relationships and marriages, how do we handle them? Are you the type of person who shuts down, who avoids confrontations, or are you the type who gets overly emotional when it comes to confronting issues head on.

Well, no matter how you handle it, you can count on the devil doing his thing in your mind (thoughts), “You should’ve said”, ” Why did you let them get away with that”, “They don’t care about your feelings anyway”, “You should be sick of this….. and I could go on button I’m sure you get the picture. My point is, don’t allow the enemy of mankind and everything that is good, to cause you to be uncomfortable about speaking your feelings, speaking your hurt, acknowledging your pain to the one person you vowed to love forever.

Be sure to always pray for peace and understanding in your relationships then speak your heart regularly, not loudly and not in anger, and definitely not with accusations. Instead make your point softly, with love, in a kind way, in hopes of a resolution almost every time.

Remember, practice makes almost perfect!

Ephesians 4:32

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as Christ forgave you.

2 Timothy 2:24

And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.

Don’t accept just anyone into your life

In a time where so many are searching out true love, don’t assume anyone is desperate enough to put up with your foolishness. When seeking out a relationship you should always put your “best foot” forward but don’t lie about who you truly are or suppress your normal behavior (bad habits) too long. If you have issues, share them and try to work through them (therapy). It works! I know because I had to see someone after my mom passed away. Therapy is so important especially if you recognize a problem with you in past relationships.

No one deserves your brokenness when you can get help.

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“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Luke 6:31).

Breakthrough

I went to see the movie “Breakthrough” recently with my husband (our date night). It was AMAZING !! It reminded me of the great power we have through prayer. In the movie when the mothers child was in distress, she called on the power of God from the very depths of her soul seemingly (No spoilers here)!

As Christians, I believe we sometimes tend to down play the power of prayer, or not totally understand the true power which comes from and through prayer, often seeing it as the last resort rather than our first response to the issues of life. In an attempt to encourage one another, we say things like “Just pray about it, or “I’ll be praying for you” and then going on our way even forgetting about that need. We subconsciously seem to underestimate prayer, its significance and its power in the moment and in doing so we are robbed of the joy that God intended for us to experience through connecting with Him in such critical times. It is literally our connection and way to communicate with God!

I am blown away by the bold and powerful prayers of David, how he cried out to God and the boldness and cutting honesty in which he talked to Him. We don’t have to pray eloquently or sound like anyone else, we just need to talk to God from our hearts, but reverence Him as our Creator.

I’ve come to realize that we can humble ourselves before God and pray such bold, impossible sounding prayers because God desires a relationship with us even though He is infinitely powerful and nothing we pray is too small or insignificant for Him. He is right there waiting on us to trust Him enough to call on Him so that He can do great things for us.

Let’s pray like Davis (Psalms)

Don’t Be An Accuser

Try not to be a critical spirit (person), it can wreck a good relationship if not put in check.

Maybe no one has told you yet but no one person knows everything all of the time nor should things be done their way all the time.

If you’ve ever said “If I were you, I would…”, you might want to stop! You won’t ever know what you would do in any given situation unless you are put in that situation in that very moment!

The Bible says the enemy is called “The accuser” of the brethren” ( Revelation 12) Don’t be the person who always points out the mistakes or flaws of others (an accuser), be understanding and helpful instead of judgmental.

Full disclosure, I’ve been told that I can be critical at times and I continue working on it everyday knowing that some flaws never completely go away, we must simply learn self control in all situations. ; )

Don’t hurt them again

Have you ever found yourself using a painful or hurtful moment from the past as a weapon in the present. You know “that thing” that hurt them to their very core, how they did “that”, or when they said “that” and you said you forgave them for it but now you’re bringing it up AGAIN in order to make your point in anger.

Simply put, even if you find yourself absolutely, positively WRONG and you know you’re losing an argument, don’t reach back into the past, that’s a blow “below the belt” and it should never be okay, especially with someone you say you love.

Your only goal should be to solve the problem at hand (the current reason you’re arguing), not bringing up the past.

Remember the golden rule, it works when used correctly and regularly, “Do unto others just as you would want them to do unto you” Luke 6:31

Progressing or Disolving

Relationships are difficult enough as it is especially after the newness wears off and it’s what we do in response to the difficulties which come over time that have everything to do with how our relationships either progress or how they dissolve right before our eyes.

Ideally, we should find a person who possesses most of what we want in a mate during the dating process because, Let’s all say it together, “People don’t really change”. For the most part they are who they are going to be and in order for a relationship to survive frustrating times, we must be willing to continue to accept the good and the “not so good”. This includes their appearance, their speech, their beliefs, their bad habits, etc,.

Accept who they are (don’t try to change them, prove them wrong or to make a senseless point over and over again ). I’m speaking from experience!

Appreciate who they are (remind yourself and your partner why you fell in love with them)

Show Affection (kiss,touch and complement)

Be Attentive (be in the moment and listen to one another fully and completely)

Simple put, take on the same mindset you had of them while you were dating. If we focus on the negative that is exactly all we will see and the enemy of every good thing will make sure of it! Focus on the best of them, it will save your relationship.

1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, Love is kind…..