Tag Archive | money

What!!!  Marriage is Trending

Well  “it’s about time”! It is one of the most important relationships you will ever have, and the best advice I can give is, Stop being selfish! If you know you are bad with money and even though they do things differently from you, they seem to have a better relationship with finances than you do, give up the power!! Hand over the responsibility of bill paying, spending, and saving, and be willing to take good advice from your “better half”, cause they got it going on in that department !!  

I know of what I speak because I did it, and things got so much better once I saw things my husbands way, (He’s gonna love this post!). We got so good at managing our finances that we are now debt free!! I’m not bragging, I’m just trying to help someone. I’m so glad I stopped being selfish and put into practice my husbands way of doing things because we still love each other and we are living the life God promised us!

If you recognize yourself in this post, don’t be so stubborn that you continue in the wrong direction just to spite your spouse. Be flexible and be honest concerning your weaknesses and flaws. Things can and most likely will change with your cooperation.

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God ​— ​who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly ​— ​and it will be given to him. —James 1:5

You, Do You!

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It is said that most marriages end because of financial difficulties.

My husband and I were married for a few years before we could afford new furniture or a new car but folks these days want to have it all, and have it right now! I regularly tease my husband by calling him a “Cheap skate”, and “I do love me some him” but early in our marriage, it wasn’t so funny. His goal was and has always been that our family live within his financial ability. Yes! His, not mine, not ours, so as to never be in a financial bind or a situation we could not handle because of living above our means. Our goal has never been to be rich, but it has always been to live a good life, a comfortable life, and to be good stewards with all that God has blessed us with. He tried never to throw money away, instead he designated where it went (budget), so that it was spent with actual thought. We are happy with our simple life together and our ability to have what we want now, as a result of being faithful to God with our finances and the sacrifices we made early in our marriage.

“I think” one of the toughest things for any young couple starting together would be to try to start out as though they’ve been at it for years, keeping up with “The Jones”, the big house in the best neighborhood, the status car etc,. I wonder if they ever stop to think that “The Jones” just might be in debt over their heads or that there could be so much discord in their home as a result of trying to live a life that others will envy (above your means). Sad thing is, they probably don’t even have the time to enjoy those nice things because they are working so hard to keep them! I wonder why it seems to be so important for some people to have others think highly of them for what they have, more so than for who they are.

You can certainly make yourself content with a simple life until the kind of life you desire comes to pass. I heard a minister say that “Rich doesn’t always mean, an excess of money but, the ability to have peace of mind and the ability to get sleep at night, because you are not worried about losing what you have”. The bible warns, “It’s hard for a rich man to make it into Heaven, so be careful what you strive for” (I paraphrase).

Proverbs 23:4, Tells us to be wise enough to know when to give up on getting rich and be content with a good life (I paraphrase). Hebrew 13:1-5

Discipline your Dollars by giving them a Destination

This was a direct quote from a financial advisor, “Discipline your Dollars by giving them a Destination” because they don’t have a mind of their own.  We have to tell them where to go (not literally) but you get the gist of it, right!

This made me think of my husband and how unique of an individual he is. I have always said that he’s the smartest man that I’ve ever known (wide smile).  He has the most rational and practical way of thinking of anyone I’ve ever known. I often tell him that he has the gift of seeing a scenario from beginning to end almost instantly! Never had that been more clear to me than when I attended a conference on finance at my church a few years ago. I sat in the presence of an ex professional football player turned Financial planner/Advisor who was literally telling me everything that my husband had been constantly reinforcing in me for most of our marriage.  I came home that evening and told my husband that I needed to market him and his knowledge because that guy had nothing on him except, he’s making a boatload of money! (doing that thing I do to boost his ego).

My husband constantly impresses me but one of the most impressive things he’s done in our years of marriage (besides being a man of integrity, a great father and husband) has been to handle our finances so well that we are now practically debt free. He told me early in our marriage that we could not live above our means (not spend more than he made) I didn’t work because he didn’t want strangers raising our children. I was put on a budget and I struggled with it but we made it work. At points in our marriage in order to save and have extra money for things like Christmas and vacations, my husband took on a part time job while serving in the military full time. When I did work, we never included my income toward living expenses and we never increased our way of living. We don’t have a car payment and here’s why, once a car was payed off, he kept saving the car payment amount in a separate savings account instead of using the money for something else so that when it was time for another car we could pay cash for it, and not have a car payment.

It’s ideas like this that make so much since considering most relationships end due to misunderstandings over money.

It took time for me to catch hold of my husbands vision for our future because I was spoiled and I was used to having what I wanted but I’m so thankful that I conformed to his way of thinking. We worked through our issues because we wanted a bright future together.  It Worked!

If one of you is better than the other with money, yeild to the person in your relationship who handles finances better but agree on what the vision is and stick to it.  Stop thinking that you have to have Stuff to be happy and learn to live comfortably and within your means.   Proverbs 15:6, 15:16, 22:4

Happiness Is A Gift From God

I’m so grateful to God that even as a young woman attempting to live in obedience to Gods word, I was able to look past what I thought was “my type“, and what I wanted in a “boyfriend”, in order to see who God had for me. When I met my husband, through Christ I was able to see the good in him, the kindness, the gentleness, and the love in his heart.

I can not imagine life without the love he has for me and the love and support he shows our children. It would have been tragic to know, I had given up on such a good man, and even more tragic to know that someone else now had what was meant for me, and that I willingly let him slip right through my fingers.
Ask God to open your eyes so that you may discover what or who He has for you.

1 Samuel 16:7 “The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart”.

James 1:17
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Happiness is a gift from God.