Tag Archive | tolerance

Do What It Takes

Love is “Mutual submission” Yes guys! God’s words say “Wives, submit yourself unto your own husband” Ephesians 5:22-23,  and it also says, “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave His life for her” Ephesians 5:25.  He did everything for the church, He supported it, He taught it, He loved it unconditionally, and ultimately He gave His life for it (her). His love was never conditional (if you do for me, I’ll do for you). So in order to have a successful marriage or even a successful relationship, you must put your loved ones needs and sometimes their wants above your own. The problem with that is, we only want to do, if we are receiving something in return, but that’s not what God’s Word says. He says “Love one another as I have loved you”, John 13:34-35.   Just think about it like this; If you truly want to please God, you will show love, and in return He will bless you to have the ability to do more than you could ever do on your own. The problem may be that you stopped valuing oneanothers feelings or oneanothers interests, and started to be selfish but that happens when you get comfortable in a relationship.  We all tend to do that.

 Don’t lose heart if it doesn’t work right away.  It took time to get in the dysfuctional state you may find yourself  in. You can get it back just remember,  “Practice makes perfect” and “Anything worth having is worth fighting for”. Start with baby steps, (small things) like back when you used to give real thought to what would make them happy, what would make them smile loving in your direction.  Remember how that brought you so much satisfaction, in more ways than one ;0).   So start now and eventually, you will get back to being “In love”, and satisfied with your relationship.

“Do what it took to get them, if you want to keep them”.

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It’s Not Normal

The headline in national news (Bruce becoming Caitlyn) for the last couple of days has me shaking my head. Why is this national news?
Yes! We are to Love, Be Tolerant, and be Accepting of all people, but Do Not! allow Hollywood, politicians or the world to dictate to us, what is normal or  what ” The new normal” should be.   God’s word tells us how He created us, what He created us for, what a man and a woman are, and what marriage is, as well as who marriage is supposed to be between. But, just as we have seen, and are seeing in politics, Hollywood, and seemingly everywhere, people are deciding who they want to marry and what they want to be no matter how they were born.   

God’s Word tells us, if we want to believe anything strongly enough, He will allow us to. He will give us over to a reprobate mind, (those strong desires or thoughts), and our will because we want it so much, (Romans 12:8).

 Just because we believe it, doesn’t make it true or right!  God will never force His will on any of us, just remember what the Word of God says, “we are born in sin and shaped in iniquity”, so we will always have to decide to be good, to do what’s righteous (right) or to be obedient to God.  His word and His will never changes (Hebrews 13:8).

“Learning Curve” or “A Process”

My husband and I were sitting at the dinner table talking not too long ago, about similar relationship issues people we know seem to be dealing with, when my husband said, “Well, if a relationship is not an abusive  one or, if it’s not extremely unhappy, It’s called a “learning curve” or “a process”.   He was talking about how easily people seem to give up on relationships without really understanding one another, once they have said “I do”.   It just takes time!   Why is it so hard for people to work through disagreements these days?  You get married, and  then you decide very quickly that marriage may not have been for you after all.  Listen!   No matter how long you dated, were in love or even lived together, once you say “I do”, It all changes!  I don’t know why, it just does.

 My husband joined the military while we were dating .  We dated for three years and never were intimate (no sex)! Well, we had our daughter nine months after we were married, Yep!   I know that sounds foreign to most of you, but it’s true!  So starting our lives together and having a baby so soon was definitely difficult, and there were many learning curves.   It was very evident, very quickly even with all that love, how different we were once we began living together.  We were different in a few ways, raised in different parts of the country (north and south).   I was spoiled, very affectionate, loud and outspoken.   He was quiet, not so openly affectionate (PDA) and very hard working.   He had to love me in order to deal with me, in my opinion.  All jokes aside, because we loved one another, we respected one another and worked through our issues.  33 years later we are still happily married, with two wonderful children, their spouses and 3 beautiful granddaughters.  

Now I admit, we haven’t had many huge issues in our marriage (because we always talk), but as I have said many times, it takes two to keep a relationship going and marriage is work, don’t let anyone tell you differently!

leave it alone!

We all have made mistakes, and will continue to make them, after all we are only human. It’s a constant struggle to control our desires and our tongues, so don’t continually beat someone up (verbally) with “what they did”, their past failures or indiscretions. Soooooooo, if you haven’t already, sit down together, talk about it, clear the air and If you have truly forgiven them, allow them and yourself to heal. Move forward and leave the past in the past! Let it go, because you can’t very well move forward, while looking backwards.

God gives each and everyone one of us a daily measure of forgiveness (grace and mercy), because he knows that we live in sinful bodies, in a world of full of sin. Who are you not to extend the same love and mercy to others. “Do unto others”!

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