Tag Archive | issues

“The Storms” of Life

You know when you feel as though everything seems to be going wrong in your life?  Well my husband and I realized the other night, just how much our family has had to endure.

Although the bible tells us to rejoice in troubles, in the natural that seems unrealistic or unachievable until you understand the power of God.  Part of the reason that God allows us to experience sorrows and trials in our lives, is so that we might depend on Him, draw closer to Him, and learn that He is the power which sustains us.  He will  provide for us all that we need at any time in our lives, especially during the trials of life.

All of Gods children go through storms (troubling times), but it is precisely during the “Going through” moments of any crisis, that Gods peace is more evident than ever before.

Just remember that you are “Going through”, not remaing in “The Storm”. 

This too shall pass. 2Corinthians 4:17-18

Romans 12:12  Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

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Happily Ever After?

There is something lacking in today’s society, Patience! We want everything right now. We want it exactly the way we want it. If it’s not working the way we think it ought to, it is so easily discarded and we’re on to the next thing, relationship, friend, job etc,.

Does this phrase sound familiar at all?, “Anything worth having is worth fighting or working for”.

My “Oh so practical” husband says concerning our relationship; “I’d rather have 80% of the good in you than 80% of the worse. I can deal with 20% of anything if the rest is working out pretty well for me”

Why do we make relationships so hard? If there is more good than, not so good, then work on the “not so good” part till it’s better. The point I’m trying to make is, we all have flaws, issues and baggage from previous relationships, but it’s so much easier to see someone else’s flaws than it is to see our own. That’s why In any relationship, self evaluation is critical.

Ask yourself some vital questions such as, what would happen if I became …., what could our marriage not withstand….., what could make him/her feel differently about me. Talk regularly about things like this so that when an issue arises in your relationship, it won’t be blown out of proportion because you have communicated therefore you are better able to understand one another enough to get through them when they arise.

Do you realize that we are less likely to offend a good friend than we are our spouse or loved one. Why? Because we talk with our friends all the time, so why not extend that same courtesy to the person you vowed to love, honor and cherish or that person you are in a committed relationship with?

Live peaceably with all people, that means our spouses and loved ones too! (Romans 12:14-18)

The “Real” deal

I was watching my favorite morning show when Toni Tennille of the 70’s & 80’s singing duo Captain and Tennille was on the show talking about what we now know was a very unhappy marriage.  The problem was that for the sake of their careers and from the public perception everything seemed fine, they seemed to be happily married!
She recently wrote a book telling how and why the relationship is now over.  She writes that they were married because her mother and their agent wanted it especially after they had a child together, so they did it.  She tells how she was a very happy and affectionate person but her husband was not because of his difficult childhood.  The thing is, she knew this before she said “I do”!  Big mistake!  As I have said many times, people are generally who they are when you meet them.  You can’t change the fabric of who a person truly is.  They are who they are and not likely to change, no matter how hard they may try.  Only God can change us and that is only when we acknowledge we are broken or we recognize we have a problem.

I’m pretty sure I have told you guys before that even in my happy marriage, my husband and I revisit some of the same issues every 6 months or so like clock work, and that’s okay,  that’s how we function because we are very different people.  I love him so much because he has always been willing to work on those things which don’t come as naturally to him as they do to me (affection and social activity).

The moral of this story is, if you are making excuses for them constantly, take the blinders off!   If you are in a relationship with someone who has ways that drive you up a wall or you says things like, “I think they are great” but…  Don’t look over those problems or issues because after they hurt you, you have “great make up sex” (a no no as a Christian anyway), or “they are so good looking” (we look so great together), please don’t be this shallow concerning your life. 

Weigh the pros (happiness, joy) against the cons (unhappiness, pain, disfunction) before you take the leap into what “should be “a life long relationship together, and above all don’t be desperate, don’t allow yourself to be deceived for the sake of having a relationship.

Life is tough enough, but life with someone who is not concerned about your overall happiness and well-being as much as they are with their own,  would be very unhappy and evermore sad knowing you saw all the signs before you committed to it..

Go into every relationship with your eyes wide open.  Ask God to show you those things which you can not see about or in them for yourself.  Ask God to show you all things that may be hidden from you on purpose! If you are honest with yourself, we all know how to put the best of us on display in order to get what we want, don’t we?

Proverbs 12:22
Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.

John 8:32
You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free

Troubles don’t last always

When troubles come, (and they will) our minds tend to think crazy thoughts. No matter how we try, we tend to think negatively about the outcome. Try to brush aside those negative thoughts, thoughts of anger, thoughts of bondage, fear, sadness, loneliness, defeat etc,. “God has not given us the spirit of fear, but power, love and a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7).

I thank God for my husband who balances me out, especially emotionally. He talks me out of anger and doubt, he picks me up when I’m down, he is my best friend. I would be guilty of making unwise decisions and more than a few bad choices without his loving guidance.

We all make bad choices, the thing is, we fail to accept that our choices or decisions may have caused them. Just remember, our God, who is rich in mercies loves us. He made us and He knows us better than we know ourselves. He will not leave us nor will He forsake us, BUT! in order to receive His mercies, comfort and guidance, we must strive to live in His will (by His word).

Be encouraged, “Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:5). Tell yourself, this too shall pass. Thank God