Tag Archive | happy

Fresh or Stale

It is said that some things get better with age (a good wine, a well aged steak etc), but I add, they only get better with proper care, and maintenance. I’m 57 now but even as a young wife, the one thing I vowed would never be okay in my marriage was for us to lose our passion (not love) for one another, and I work very hard at making sure we stay connected. My husband has his way as well, he has always been active in making sure I’m happy and laughing. He is a “Joker”.

It really helps that I had great examples of a healthy relationship, with love, and respect from my parents., Yes! your children are watching and learning how to love and relate from your example.

Example;

I love to dance but my husband doesn’t like to so much (in public), so sometimes when he’s feeling it, he puts on a slow song and reaches for me, and I melt right into his arms. Yesssssss! 😍

I challenge you, think about how you used to get your spouses attention romantically. Why not start doing that (Yes! That!) again. A relationship grows old, stale, and stagnant when proper care is not taken to maintain, and to keep it fresh and vibrant.

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Why aren’t you saying “Merry Christmas”?

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only son” (John 3:16).  That’s what Christmas is really all about. Christ gave His life to forgive the sins of this world then and for all time,  so why can’t shouldn’t you say “Merry Christmas”?

Stand for what you believe. Don’t allow society to dictate what you can and can not say, at the time of year we celebrate the birth of “Our risen Savior Jesus Christ”. There would be no Christmas, If not for Christ!

For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6)

Romans 12:2 (KJV)
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

To Give or Not to Give

Does giving gifts have take away from the true meaning of Christmas? No, it does not. If we focus on the wonderful gift of salvation the Lord has given us (Isaiah 9:6), giving to others is a natural expression of that gratitude. The key is our focus. Is your focus on the gift, or on the ultimate gift-giver, our gracious Heavenly Father? “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights…” (James 1:17).

I was doing some Christmas shopping the other day and started to feel some kind of way about the serious stress I was seeing on the faces of other shoppers.  I listened to conversations and watched disputes take place all in the name of Christmas giving.

It was depressing, I felt a bit convicted about the whole thing.  Why do we try to do so much, stressing over pleasing people when the purpose is to give a thoughtful gift in the name of love and kindness.

The reason is I believe is that we are now doing way too much.  We want to impress others, we want to compete with others, and in the process we create more debt than we can afford.

Let’s try to remember the real reason for this season, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ selflessly coming into this world to save us from eternal suffering.

It’s pretty simple, show love in how you care. Give meaningful gifts, gift that supply a need not just a want, and not just at Christmas

Can You Feel the Love ❤️

So much of the power to keep our relationships thriving is in our very own hands. It’s so important to keep talking, touching, kissing,  laughing, and sharing, and do it with your whole heart.  I write encouragement on my fridge weekly for my husband and myself.  That’s one of my ways to keep our relationship fresh.  Remember, we are going on  36 years of marriage!!

My most recent advice was, “Kiss me as if it were the last time!   There’s something wonderful that happens when my husband takes time to look at me and wrap his arms around me in a tender embrace, and really kiss me, not just a quick peck of the lips.   I feel the the love, and I don’t mind so much that he just left his clothes on the bathroom floor.
If you feel things are a little stale or a lot, you decide to do whatever it takes for you and your relationship to thrive.  It is that important!!

You can’t say you’ve done everything you can, until you have literally done everything you can

I was on my way to the grocery store listening to one of my favorite radio personalities was on. He made a profound statement in my opinion; “You always have other options”. He was referring to relationships where a person is contemplating divorce.  He said “If it’s not as serious as infidelity, you should be asking yourself a certain type of question before giving up on a marriage”, Did they respond better to you after a well deserved vacation, How do they react to you being supportive instead of nagging and complaining, or telling them what they have not done.

His point was similar to the one I wrote about some time ago, find your spouses “Love language”. That thing that makes them forget that they are over worked and under appreciated. It could be as simple as you doing the housework for them every now and then. It could be you cooking a meal and giving them a break or you telling them that they are great at what they do. It could be as simple as you helping with the children more consistently.  They might only need to hear that you love them and you are still attracted to them (we all get insecure, especially us women after children).

Just take a moment and think back to how you used to go out of your way to be thoughtful, how you did anything to see them smile, and you didn’t mind looking like a plum fool just to hear them laugh uncontrollably at you. Well, those same things it took to get them, are the same things that will keep them and will cause them to want to grow old with you.

I think we sometimes forget, or we just can’t see past the here and now, but after the honeymoon, marriage is not going to always be great or full of romance and laughter.  It becomes work, but it can still be fun in the process of growing and so rewarding when we work toward building a future together (it’s called growing pains for a reason). It’s up to us to find, to make and to maintain a balance. Simply put, learn to speak their love language (it feels good and it pays huge dividends).  

5 Love languages, Gary Chapman 

Don’t Be So Selfish

No matter what, I can truly say that my husband has always had my best interest in mind and at heart. He makes me laugh when he knows I’m upset, just to break the ice. He says “I’m sorry” when he knows he did nothing to be sorry for in order to resolve an issue.  I do the same thing, it just seems as though when one of us is not willing, the other is, (the power of prayer).  We each simply think of how the other person feels more often than not.

 “Invest in what makes them happy” Don’t dwell so much on what you’re not getting. Remember when, how they felt was more important than your feelings, your likes or dislikes. You made them a priority, you did what they wanted because you loved to make them happy, and their smile was reward enough. 

 Get back to doing what you did to get them, in order to keep them (old saying)😏
 

 If God says you’re able…

There will come times in our life when The Lord will take us out of our comfort zone.  You know, those things we do without giving it a moments thought or put any real effort into doing.   In my experience, when God desires “a thing” in your life, you begin to notice that you seem to keep being put into a certain type of position or situation. That’s what has always happened to me and my husband.  
When it starts to happen, you tend to want to inject your own feelings into the equations such as,  I’m not qualified for this, I’m not comfortable with this or I need to be better equipped to do this.  I know how uncomfortable it can be to talk to people who you don’t really know or who you may not really be comfortable talking to.  This blog came to be because of the calling on my husband and my life together.  I felt it was our responsibility to make ourselves comfortable, capable and equipped, to simply be a listening ear.   God entrusted us to share what works in our marriage, and how us purposefully involving God in every situation was and is the key to working through any issue, as well as us being transparent about the issues that we’ve worked through and how we worked through them because there is no perfect relationship and there will never be but we sure can be happy together with Gods help.

Soooooo, it’s not about you or your ability to do anything! It’s all about God, who trusts you to have His heart, to show His love, to be what He has called you to do and to be for those who He sends into your life.  “Love is patient, love is kind”

Galatians 5:22-23

But the fruit of the Spirit (of God) is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.