Tag Archive | happiness

Change is Good

Marriage requires a certain level of maturity as well as a lot of self control.  It has not always been present in my marriage but it is what has kept us together for all these years.  Once we both learned to choose our battles and not wear our feelings on our shirt sleeve, things got much easier .  Now don’t get me wrong, real process takes some of us longer than others and to be honest, we may never really master it but if we get the basic premise of love and unselfish behavior down, life tends to change dramatically.

One of my local gospel personalities said, “Pride makes excuses but maturity makes adjustments”.  Oh my goodness!  How many times have you made an excuse for behaving badly towards one another?  Well, maturity keeps you working at doing what is right, and less likely responding in anger, and definitely not intentionally being hurtful.  Here’s the thing, we can not sustain change without Gods help and strength to working in us, no matter how badly we really want to, it’s hard and we must always check our motives for the change. Now ask yourself, “Have I asked God to help me to change for me?  “Do I really even want to change” then once you identify your reason for wanting change, go to your Heavenly Father, ask Him to help you with the process, ask Him to help you to love one another just as He loves us, unconditionally.    Now all you have to do is start behaving in love as you continue to pray for Gods help to sustain the change in you.

Remember, you may fail a few times before you get it, but “Practice makes perfect and you will know when you have matured beyond your own ability because you will start to give more of yourself than you may be receiving without much effort at all, you may walk away from confrontations instead of speaking in anger, and most things that angered you in the past may even become comical because The Holy Spirit will help you to see how childish some reactions really are.

“Love (charity) starts at home and then spreads abroad”

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Don’t Be Obsessed Over It

MONEY! Are you always trying to figure out how to get more, how to get rich, or how to live the “high life”

If you are a Christ follower, you should know the word of God warns against striving for riches

Mark 10:25. In fact, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!”


1 Timothy 6:10. For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows. v11. But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.

Besides, if God hasn’t been able to trust you with hundreds or thousands, why would he bless you with more, which according to His word would ruin your life eventually, so why are you asking for millions?

Luke 6:10. He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much; and he who is unrighteous in a very little thing is unrighteous also in much.

Change your mindset concerning money. Strive to be responsible with that which you already have by living within your means, by caring for those you are responsible for, and by using what you have to bless others, you reveal the glory of God within you and in return you will see how much more your life will be blessed. It will seem as though you have more because God increases that which you already have.

Change your mindset about money and your life will be changed

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Comparison Can Destroy

Have you ever met a boastful person? Someone who’s done it all, who has been everywhere or so they say. They try to impress you with their good deeds, the car they drive or where they live but if you listen to them long enough, you realize what they are all about. I get pleasure in responding with my simple yet wonderful life and how it doesn’t take a lot of stuff to make me happy. Almost instantly I watch their expression quickly change as my response catches them by surprise. It is usually in that moment they become disinterested in me and move on to their next potential admirer.

When I was younger, this type of encounter would have caused me to envy that type of individual, which in turn caused issues in my marriage because we couldn’t afford much but I wanted more because they had it. It wasn’t until I grew spiritually that I became content with who I was and how The Lord was blessing me in my life.

In order to be happy, you must come to the realization that your life is yours to live and nothing anyone else has or says can change that. Don’t get caught up in comparison, live your best life, remembering that boasting and bragging are self gratifying, but “Only what you do for Christ will last”.

1Corinthians 15:58, 2 Corinthians 5:10, Psalm 73

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Truly Committed ❤️

Love and true commitment involves devoting yourself to the service and care of another person. The best way to be sure your partner feels loved is to verbally communicate.

Try asking questions like;

“What makes you feel most loved”. Because your definition of love may no longer be how your partner feels loved. We evolve as time goes by

“How much alone time do you need”. Because they may want alone time now where they once did not

“Are you willing to re-negotiate things that have worked in the past for our relationship but is no longer working as well as it used to”.

Because situations (life) change and so do individuals

Keep growing together, it’s just that important

1 Peter 3:7: “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”

“Be considerate” can also be translated “dwell with them according to knowledge,”

Going back to the beginning

I took some time away from blogging because I felt as though there was only so much I could talk about concerning marriage and relationships. I also felt as if my readers liked my blog, but it became mundane and maybe a little lengthy at times so they stopped reading as often. I have since felt as if I needed to get back to it so, Here I am!

I’m going back to revise some old posts because we do change and we understand things differently.

To those of you who may be new to my blog, my husband and I have been married for over 38 years! We are flawed and we are human and we will make mistakes, we don’t always see eye to eye, we love each other, we respect one another but most of all we look to the Lord God for help when we can’t seem to find a resolution within ourselves.

I look forward to sharing with you and I pray that my words help you to grow.

Gob bless you

Lesson Learned

This is a recent post from my daughters Facebook post. It’s a long read but well worth the time if you struggle with hearing from God

Warning Signs…

Have you ever seen warning signs about something you really want? You are praying about it and supposedly waiting to hear from God, when you are really hearing from God through the warning signs, but you ain’t trying to hear that, so you keep praying until you hear what you want to hear? Yep, that just happened to me. Let’s just say I should have listened.

I have been wanting to go back to teaching for awhile now. I just want to get my standard certificate and complete that goal that has haunting me since I didn’t choose to complete the teaching program in undergrad. For some reason, every time I have tried it does not work. Moving to TX was another opportunity, so I jumped on it. I enrolled in a certification program, did the coursework and then applied for jobs. Had a few interviews while I was “praying about it”. All of them went well, but nobody called back immediately. 🤔Some friends were asking me why I wanted to go back to work. My only reasons were to put a check mark in the box for “I finally got my standard teaching certification”, and having my “more” money to shop with. Not to change lives, not because teaching is my passion, not because we needed extra income. None of that! So my reason was wrong in the first place. I just wanted to feel like I was doing something, and I wanted more money to play with.

Long story short, a school called (over a month after the interview) and offered me a job. I said hmmm this must be God opening up the door I had already felt He closed and confirmed through several people. But I accepted and soon there after I knew it was wrong. How many of you know that we can cause unessecary pain, stress, you name it, because of disobedience and following our own self-centered ambitions? 🤦🏾‍♀️ I told Jarvis I felt like I was getting a whopping!

Just because something works out, does not always mean it’s God. Well things started falling apart. I was stressed, overwhelmed, mean, and irritable at home. Then everyone we hired to keep the girls before school so that I could work changed their mind or couldn’t do it. Jarvis works a crazy schedule so he and I were not seeing much of each other. He was stretched and stressed working 12hr days 6 days a week, then all of a sudden trying to do the things that I have always done.

I had to take a step back a realize what I was doing to my family because I wanted more. God showed me why the answer has been no, but I had to “touch that hot pot to know it burned”. I had to own up to my mistake, swallow my pride, and walk away from the program and job.

My family is my full-time job, my first priority, and when I try to convince myself that there should be more for me, I am reminded that God has always kept us and given us more than what we need. ” When you are grateful for what you have, what you have becomes enough.” God provides. Do I want to work? Yes, but I want it to work for my family. I want God to direct me (and I listen) in what I do and it not just to be about money. Until that opportunity comes, I will be a happy at home serving my family.

Lesson learned. I hope it helps someone.

The Good Old Days

It seems as though time is slipping away right before our very eyes. Are you making the most of your time? I believe we try to make time for who and what is important to us or so we think, but can you truly be present (in the moment) with yourcell phone, your iPad or tablet in your face, mindlessly scrolling the internet, through Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest or looking at sports videos and YouTube, Nope!

I remember a simpler time, back when my husband and I had so much contempt for the devices we are now literally “joined at the hip” with. We even talked back then about how “those darn mobile phones” would be the demise of society. The young people were using them in order not to have real interaction, they were a way out of having to deal with people. Now adults are doing the same thing!

We actually peaked into the future, didn’t we!

If this is going to change, we must now be intentional with putting our devices down, making eye contact, saying “Hi”. Your conversation could be the only real and hopefully (positive) interaction a person has today.

Here’s the thing, If you are older, you remember what life was like without a mobile phone, tablets, and all this technology. The world was a much friendlier place, people talked, there was very little internet activity at home (it was at work only) to rob us of hours of our precious time on earth.

Don’t fret! We can get it back! Good old fashioned communication is not totally lost. We just have to be intentional in doing it! Say “Hi” to a stranger, have a conversation in the doctors office, on the elevator, in line waiting for coffee or try this, pick up your phone and call someone instead of texting them!

Let’s go back to the “old time” ways

Colossians 4:5

Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time.