Tag Archive | cooperation

Did I ask God to change me for me?

Marriage requires a certain level of maturity as well as self control.  It has not always been present in my marriage but it is what has kept us together for all these years.  Once we both learned to choose our battles and not wear our feelings on our shirt sleeve, things got much easier .  Now don’t get me wrong, it is a real process which takes some of us longer than others and to be honest, we may never really master it but if we get the basic premise of love and unselfish behavior mastered, life tends to change dramatically.

Recently one of my favorite local gospel personalities said, “Pride makes excuses but maturity makes adjustments”.  Oh my goodness!  How many times have you made an excuse for behaving badly towards one another?  Well, maturity keeps you working at doing what is right, and less likely from responding in anger, and definitely not intentionally being hurtful.  Here’s the thing, we can not sustain change without Gods strength to help us, no matter how bad we really want to it’s hard and we must always check our motives for the change.  Ask yourself, “Did I ask God to help me to change for me?  “Do I really even want to change” and once you identify your reason for change then go to your Heavenly Father and ask Him to help you with this process, ask Him to help you to love one another just as He loves you, unconditionally.    Now all you have to do is start behaving in love as you continue to pray for Gods strength to sustain that change in you.

You may fail a few times before you get it, but “Practice makes perfect.   You will know when you have matured beyond your own ability because you will start to give more of yourself than you may be receiving.   Without much effort,  you walk away from confrontations instead of speaking in anger, and most things that angered you in the past may even become comical.  because Gods help, you now see how childish some reactions really are.

“Love (charity) starts at home and then spreads abroad” Sir Thomas Browne.

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Try it,  you might like it! 

My mom told me early in my marriage, “Don’t start anything with your husband that you don’t plan on doing for the rest of your lives together”.  Boy, was she right!   recently while pampering my husband, as I so often do, I remembered mama’s words, I smiled at my memory of her. I also remembered how great her and my dads relationship was when we were growing up (that’s where I learned).  

Recently my husband and I left home for church services at 7:30 am.  We went to brunch after two services, then we dropped by the house to change clothes and kept going because I wanted a couple of things.  We shopped a little, and just hung out and talked.  12 hours from the time we left home that morning,  we were on our way back home from a very full day.   Now you have to understand that my husband loves being at home and relaxing, and he hates to shop,  But!  He did it, and he was patient and generous with his time and $$.   Maybe he did it,  knowing what he wanted, I’m not sure, but because he was so generous with me, he got his nails done, and his face groomed and yes, I was happy to oblige.  
Quid pro quo, Tit for tat,  call it what you want, but I call it love and happiness done my way.  As my granddaughter says, “Try it, you might like it”.

In everything, do for others as you would have them do for you, Mattew 7:12