Marriage requires a certain level of maturity as well as self control. It has not always been present in my marriage but it is what has kept us together for all these years. Once we both learned to choose our battles and not wear our feelings on our shirt sleeve, things got much easier . Now don’t get me wrong, it is a real process which takes some of us longer than others and to be honest, we may never really master it but if we get the basic premise of love and unselfish behavior mastered, life tends to change dramatically.
Recently one of my favorite local gospel personalities said, “Pride makes excuses but maturity makes adjustments”. Oh my goodness! How many times have you made an excuse for behaving badly towards one another? Well, maturity keeps you working at doing what is right, and less likely from responding in anger, and definitely not intentionally being hurtful. Here’s the thing, we can not sustain change without Gods strength to help us, no matter how bad we really want to it’s hard and we must always check our motives for the change. Ask yourself, “Did I ask God to help me to change for me? “Do I really even want to change” and once you identify your reason for change then go to your Heavenly Father and ask Him to help you with this process, ask Him to help you to love one another just as He loves you, unconditionally. Now all you have to do is start behaving in love as you continue to pray for Gods strength to sustain that change in you.
You may fail a few times before you get it, but “Practice makes perfect“. You will know when you have matured beyond your own ability because you will start to give more of yourself than you may be receiving. Without much effort, you walk away from confrontations instead of speaking in anger, and most things that angered you in the past may even become comical. because Gods help, you now see how childish some reactions really are.
“Love (charity) starts at home and then spreads abroad” Sir Thomas Browne.
This is such a cute illustration of what happens in even the best relationships sometimes.
Have you ever said, “I love you but I don’t like you very much right now”? It’s nothing strange to be in love and not like one another, just don’t allow anger or misunderstandings to linger. Anger and misunderstandings left unchecked only allow room for destruction in a relationship.
So get over yourself, I know how you may feel but, for the sake of your relationship, your family and your future together, don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s just not worth it. Get over it!
Heres something that has helped me down through the years, If there is a problem between me and my husband which We can’t seem to resolve, I pray and ask God for a time when my husband will be receptive and will understand my issue with him, and without fail God works in us both in a way in which we are not able to do on our own. God is amazing, and He is always there waiting for us to allow Him to be Lord over our lives.
“See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows to cause trouble and defile many”