You can’t say you’ve done everything you can, until you have literally done everything you can

I was on my way to the grocery store listening to one of my favorite radio personalities was on. He made a profound statement in my opinion; “You always have other options”. He was referring to relationships where a person is contemplating divorce.  He said “If it’s not as serious as infidelity, you should be asking yourself a certain type of question before giving up on a marriage”, Did they respond better to you after a well deserved vacation, How do they react to you being supportive instead of nagging and complaining, or telling them what they have not done.

His point was similar to the one I wrote about some time ago, find your spouses “Love language”. That thing that makes them forget that they are over worked and under appreciated. It could be as simple as you doing the housework for them every now and then. It could be you cooking a meal and giving them a break or you telling them that they are great at what they do. It could be as simple as you helping with the children more consistently.  They might only need to hear that you love them and you are still attracted to them (we all get insecure, especially us women after children).

Just take a moment and think back to how you used to go out of your way to be thoughtful, how you did anything to see them smile, and you didn’t mind looking like a plum fool just to hear them laugh uncontrollably at you. Well, those same things it took to get them, are the same things that will keep them and will cause them to want to grow old with you.

I think we sometimes forget, or we just can’t see past the here and now, but after the honeymoon, marriage is not going to always be great or full of romance and laughter.  It becomes work, but it can still be fun in the process of growing and so rewarding when we work toward building a future together (it’s called growing pains for a reason). It’s up to us to find, to make and to maintain a balance. Simply put, learn to speak their love language (it feels good and it pays huge dividends).  

5 Love languages, Gary Chapman 

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