“Learning Curve” or “A Process”

My husband and I were sitting at the dinner table talking not too long ago, about similar relationship issues people we know seem to be dealing with, when my husband said, “Well, if a relationship is not an abusive  one or, if it’s not extremely unhappy, It’s called a “learning curve” or “a process”.   He was talking about how easily people seem to give up on relationships without really understanding one another, once they have said “I do”.   It just takes time!   Why is it so hard for people to work through disagreements these days?  You get married, and  then you decide very quickly that marriage may not have been for you after all.  Listen!   No matter how long you dated, were in love or even lived together, once you say “I do”, It all changes!  I don’t know why, it just does.

 My husband joined the military while we were dating .  We dated for three years and never were intimate (no sex)! Well, we had our daughter nine months after we were married, Yep!   I know that sounds foreign to most of you, but it’s true!  So starting our lives together and having a baby so soon was definitely difficult, and there were many learning curves.   It was very evident, very quickly even with all that love, how different we were once we began living together.  We were different in a few ways, raised in different parts of the country (north and south).   I was spoiled, very affectionate, loud and outspoken.   He was quiet, not so openly affectionate (PDA) and very hard working.   He had to love me in order to deal with me, in my opinion.  All jokes aside, because we loved one another, we respected one another and worked through our issues.  33 years later we are still happily married, with two wonderful children, their spouses and 3 beautiful granddaughters.  

Now I admit, we haven’t had many huge issues in our marriage (because we always talk), but as I have said many times, it takes two to keep a relationship going and marriage is work, don’t let anyone tell you differently!


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